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Funny satire stories about Homeland Security

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How Texas has Standing to Challenge DAPA (Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Residents)

WASHINGTON, DC- This fall, the Supreme Court is expected to issue a ruling in United States v. Texas, a case in which a coalition of twenty-six states including Texas, challenged President Obama's executive action that provided temporary relief to ne...

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Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

Funny story: Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

The American government has just taken another step in the fight to identify homegrown terrorists. In the wake of such events as the Charleston Shootings, the lawmakers on Capitol Hill have taken another step to fighting this growing epidemic. In...

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It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a 61-year-old mailman flying a gyrocopter onto the Capitol grounds!

Funny story: It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a 61-year-old mailman flying a gyrocopter onto the Capitol grounds!

Washington, D.C. - An eccentric madman - oh, no wait! I meant to say mailman - wanting to make a political point landed on the Capitol grounds Wednesday (April 15). He flew down on some kind of contraption that looked like it was put together by a k...

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Congress unveils do-it-yourself homeland security

Funny story: Congress unveils do-it-yourself homeland security

Washington, DC - - With the Department of Homeland Security increasingly being used as a political football, Congress has come up with a backup plan. It's a domestic defensive strategy that relies on the American public to protect itself agai...

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Secret Service director resigns following White House raccoon rampage

Funny story: Secret Service director resigns following White House raccoon rampage

Washington - US Secret Service director Julia Pierson has quit her job after a raccoon ran riot in the White House and marked the Lincoln Bedroom with its anal scent glands. Pierson had been criticised for not having taken the raccoon threat serio...

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11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom

Funny story: 11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom

President Obama, taking a break from his war against ISIS, visited Oakmont Charter School in VA. to show his support for innovative education. The school enrollees include children of diplomats, one of whom is 11-year-old extremely precocious Janna...

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US issues alert over choux pastry bomber

Funny story: US issues alert over choux pastry bomber

New York - Department of Homeland Insecurity bosses are warning of a new lethal trend in international terror after discovering a consignment of Semtex explosives disguised as choux pastry in an airplane shipment headed for a DC patisserie. It's t...

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Radical Extremist Grammarians Riot at Library of Congress

Funny story: Radical Extremist Grammarians Riot at Library of Congress

Members of the Red Pencil Faction of the P.L.O. (Pedants for Literacy Organization) clashed with riot police on the steps of the Library of Congress yesterday morning. Carrying signs that read "'Irregardless' is Not a Word!" and "'General Consensus'...

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Purchasing Whoops at DHS

Funny story: Purchasing Whoops at DHS

It has been reported that the Department of Homeland Security, (DHS) is purchasing 450 million rounds of .40 caliber hollow point ammo in order to wage a "seven year war" to thwart "homegrown Terrorism." Deke Sorrinson, Warehouse Supervisor for DH...

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Charley "Oops" Parkinson Promoted

Funny story: Charley "Oops" Parkinson Promoted

A heretofore unknown flaw in the Promotion Procedure in the Department of Defense, has elevated Charley "Oops" Parkinson to head one of the most sensitive units in the agency. To a certain extent, Oops will have his finger on the "red button" which c...

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Homeland Security Releases 5,000 Illegal Immigrants Due To Budget Cuts

Funny story: Homeland Security Releases 5,000 Illegal Immigrants Due To Budget Cuts

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secretary of The Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano has verified that 5,000 illegal aliens that were being incarcerated in California, Georgia, Maine, and Texas have been released due to federal budget cuts. S...

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Ford Offers 'Ejection Seating' to Fix Recalled Escapes

Funny story: Ford Offers 'Ejection Seating' to Fix Recalled Escapes

Dearborn, Michigan - It's been a rough road for the introduction of 2013 Ford Escape. First, the newly designed SUV was recalled because its gas pedal had a tendency to get stuck in the carpeting at awkward moments. Another recall was required for fl...

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Homeland Security Top Secret Report Leaked about Holiday Food Shortages!

Funny story: Homeland Security Top Secret Report Leaked about Holiday Food Shortages!

Special Report Homeland Security Preparedness Programs Involve Some Really Freaky Shit. HOMELAND SECURITY SECRET REPORT TOP SECRET The following is a speculative scenario intended to equip high level policymakers and planners with a sampling of potential circumstances with which any "game plan" for dealing with catastrophes due to unexpected international intrigue may have to contend, and...

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The production of FEAR continues, as the UK airspace becomes filled with DRONES!

Funny story: The production of FEAR continues, as the UK airspace becomes filled with DRONES!

RAF Waddington, Lincolnshire, UK: Soon, consignments of Reaper drones will be arriving... As the Police State continues to pile more psychological pressure on its UK citizens, where the UK Government wants to know more and more about everybody, while at the same time the public are allowed to know less and less about them and their secret courts, now is the age of the DRONES! Non-military dr...

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Homeland Security Crushes July 4th Terror Plot

Funny story: Homeland Security Crushes July 4th Terror Plot

New York - After years of burning through trillions of taxpayer dollars, the US Department of Homeland Security has finally scored. The agency shut down an elaborate terrorist operation that would have destroyed the heart of the city on the Fourth of...

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Janet Napolitano Puts Dodo Bird On "No Fly" List

Funny story: Janet Napolitano Puts Dodo Bird On "No Fly" List

BILLINGSGATE POST (Exclusive)- Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, admitted today on Face The Nation that her agency had put a traveler dressed as a Dodo Bird on the "NO FLY" list. While attempting to board a plane from LAX to the isl...

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YouTube Being used to Recruit Hamsters to Terrorize the US

Funny story: YouTube Being used to Recruit Hamsters to Terrorize the US

After watching a YouTube video of a Swedish bunny herding his master's sheep, local Washington, DC bully, Bugger Maloney's hamster named Chippy was reported to have herded the members of Congress into the Capitol to do something more than run their m...

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Pope Orders 'Missal Launch' on Salt Lake City, Igniting a Holy War

Funny story: Pope Orders 'Missal Launch' on Salt Lake City, Igniting a Holy War

The Vatican - The introduction of a new Missal, the prayer book that serves as the script for the Catholic Mass, has resulted in a Holy War between two of the world's religions. Upon publication of the new spiritual guide last weekend, Pope Bened...

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