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Funny story: Distracted Trump Watches Netflix During First Intel Briefing

Distracted Trump Watches Netflix During First Intel Briefing

Washington, DC -- Donald J. Trump was invited to his first intelligence briefing today with staff members of the Director of National Intelligence. As generals and staff spoke about national security concerns, sources close to the candidate stated th...
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Funny story: FBI Insider Leaks Clinton Email Interview Details Sent To Congress

FBI Insider Leaks Clinton Email Interview Details Sent To Congress

WASHINTON - On Tuesday the FBI released to Congress notes about its three-hour interview with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the investigation into her private, homebrew email server. Although the notes were supposed to be classified a...
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Funny story: Satan Rebukes Trump, Says He'll Vote Clinton

Satan Rebukes Trump, Says He'll Vote Clinton

Adding his name to the list of prominent Republicans who say they won't vote for Donald Trump, Satan has said he will vote his conscience this fall. Satan, who usually stays behind the scenes at Fox News, made an unusual appearance on the network...
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Funny story: Hillary Twerks Joe Biden In Scranton: Pantsuit Reveals Bite Marks In Buttock Region

Hillary Twerks Joe Biden In Scranton: Pantsuit Reveals Bite Marks In Buttock Region

BILLINGSGATE POST: Yesterday, while visiting Joe Biden's boyhood home in Scranton, Pennsylvania, it was reported that Clinton had trouble keeping her balance while standing outside the house. Earlier in the day, she was caught on camera stumbling w...
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Funny story: Looser Guccifer 2.0 delves into candidates' plans for October Surprise

Looser Guccifer 2.0 delves into candidates' plans for October Surprise

The presidential candidates' polling highs and lows are roller coastering on and on. Recently, unpleasant odors of DNC manipulating for Clinton, plus hacks into The Clinton Foundation, threatened a downward sag. This was prevented via blowing...
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Funny story: Hillary Spotted at Trump Rally, Screams out to Bill for Help

Hillary Spotted at Trump Rally, Screams out to Bill for Help

Fairfield, CT -- At a rally last night, Donald J. Trump spotted a woman in the audience suspected to be Hillary Clinton. As Trump called for her "immediate eviction", the crowd became more rowdy. The mysterious woman raced out of the stadium, scream...
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Funny story: You Ted Cruz! You're Full Of Fareed Zakaria

You Ted Cruz! You're Full Of Fareed Zakaria

Puffing through his foreign policy address, while holding onto the podium with one hand, Donald Trump appeared to wheeze out his declaration that Hillary Clinton did not have the stamina or temperament to be president. Shifting hands, one always g...
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Funny story: Slovenia Demands that Melania Return Home

Slovenia Demands that Melania Return Home

Ljubljana, Slovenia - The government of Slovenia, through its Ministry of Justice, together with the Slovenian Financial Administration, has issued a formal demand on Melanija Knavs, now known Mrs. Melania Trump, to return to her home country. T...
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Funny story: Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Spokespersons for Mr. Trump have rushed forward to clarify that Mr. Trump has absolutely nothing to do with the latest alarm concerning genitalia eating fish with human teeth. The pacu under scrutiny (related to the piranha) favors male genitalia...
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Funny story: Poll Predicts Hillary Beats Jesus

Poll Predicts Hillary Beats Jesus

ONLY IN AMERICA - For the last few weeks no one could have missed the Hillary and Donald presidential campaign circus. More acts than Ringling Brothers. More drama than The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Even a high building climb, death defying a...
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Funny story: Rudolph Giuliani To Join New York City Ballet Company

Rudolph Giuliani To Join New York City Ballet Company

Rudolph Giuliani was invited to join the New York City Ballet Company. After watching and listening to Giuliani's latest pirouette and grand jete in a desperate attempt to explain and translate Donald Trump's current misspeak: "Hillary wants to a...
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Funny story: Trump Chooses Three Substitutes to Debate Hillary

Trump Chooses Three Substitutes to Debate Hillary

New York, NY - Donald J. Trump announced today that he will be unavailable for the three scheduled debates with Hillary Clinton and that the campaign has hired three substitutes. Trump's substitutes will be Senator Elizabeth Warren for the domestic...
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Funny story: Hold your nose party reports delay with new weight scales on "lesser evil" problem

Hold your nose party reports delay with new weight scales on "lesser evil" problem

The HNP (Hold Your Nose Party), currently instrumental in resolving the "But just who is the lesser evil of the two major candidates question," is experiencing some delay. In review, Mr. Arnold Batorswich, Director of the HNP, recently stepped for...
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Funny story: If You Don't Support Hillary, You're a Bigot!

If You Don't Support Hillary, You're a Bigot!

I'm sick of all these privileged bigots who are demeaning and denigrating Hillary. So I am here to educate you on why you MUST stop this. Here are the ignorant fools who need to check their privilege. 1. Iraqi orphans. Iraqi orphans have orp...
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Funny story: With Poll Numbers in Free Fall, Trump, Pence Jump Out of Plane

With Poll Numbers in Free Fall, Trump, Pence Jump Out of Plane

Grand Teton, Wyoming: Facing a free fall in numerous recent polls, Donald J. Trump and Mike Pence jumped out of an airplane yesterday as a publicity stunt to prove that that they can recover from such a precipitous drop. They survived. It has be...
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Funny story: Trump Claims Autopsy was Rigged, Blames Clinton

Trump Claims Autopsy was Rigged, Blames Clinton

Associated Press, June 18, 2032: Donald Trump today disputed the results of his own autopsy. "I do not suffer from Whinorrhea," he stated. Trump insisted that President Clinton had tampered with the results, and claimed that he had seen televisio...
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Funny story: Hillary Shoots Teenager On Fifth Avenue

Hillary Shoots Teenager On Fifth Avenue

While Donald Trump mesmerized the media and the public with his crazy antics, Hillary Clinton was the one to actually shoot someone on New York's Fifth Avenue. It all unfolded as Clinton was shopping before a political rally on New York's famous...
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Funny story: Trump Claims He Saw Video Of The Ark Of The Covenant

Trump Claims He Saw Video Of The Ark Of The Covenant

Donald Trump is claiming that the Obama administration is hiding the Ark of The Covenant to keep it from him in case he becomes president. "I saw the video, and we can assume the Russians or Wiki-Leaks leaked the video to hurt Hillary Clinton in t...
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Breaking News...

Successful Arrest

Detroit: A 93 year old man was arrested yesterday for shoplifting. Said arresting officer, Chuck Braine; "Thankfully, he made no attempt to escape."
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