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Funny story: Pope issues weather report: "It's hotter than hell!"

Pope issues weather report: "It's hotter than hell!"

VATICAN CITY -- While admitting that he's "no scientist," Pope Francis is preparing to issue a papal encyclical (not to be confused with a Popsicle or an icicle) concerning global warming "and other celestial matters." An encyclical is a lesson of...
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Funny story: God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

Heavensgate - Every morning just after sunrise, says Christopher Hitchins, he and the entire heavenly host gather with their harps and neatly folded wings at the edge of a convenient cloud. Then as they drink their coffee and enjoy the air, they laug...
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Funny story: Hell Posts Temporary "No Vacancy" Sign After Hebdo Killers Show Up Today

Hell Posts Temporary "No Vacancy" Sign After Hebdo Killers Show Up Today

HELL - The Devil is complaining that Hell is getting too full of Islamic terrorists who insist on killing innocent people that don't share their same worldview. He hung up a temporary "No Vacancy" sign outside the entrance after accepting the sou...
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Funny story: Pastors Say Jimmy Carter Is Going To Hell

Pastors Say Jimmy Carter Is Going To Hell

Two North Carolina Baptist pastors are observing President Jimmy Carter's 90th birthday by suggesting that he might go to hell for saying that Jesus wouldn't discriminate against LGBT people. Pastor David McManus accused Carter of embracing the "h...
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Funny story: Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

HELL---Longtime tabloid talk show host Jerry Springer was pronounced dead from a gorilla attack on Friday, soon after beginning his Final Thought segment at the end of the show, but was eventually revived by EMTs at the scene. Friday's show, which...
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Funny story: Rick Perry: "Illegal Children Taking Over Favorite Wal-Mart"

Rick Perry: "Illegal Children Taking Over Favorite Wal-Mart"

Texas Gov Rick Perry said in an emotional interview today that his favorite Wal-Mart is being over-run with illegal children! "I couldn't even get to the snack bar" a frustrated Perry proclaimed "it was like Korea in there"! Concerns about the...
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Funny story: Satan Responds To Complaints of Poor WiFi Coverage In Hell

Satan Responds To Complaints of Poor WiFi Coverage In Hell

Responding to the growing complaints about Hell's sketchy wireless coverage, Satan issued an internal memo this week pointing out what he believes should be brutally obvious to even the most narcissistic damned - you're in Hell. The tone of the me...
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Funny story: God Admits: "Pope Francis is right. The jig's up. There is no hell."

God Admits: "Pope Francis is right. The jig's up. There is no hell."

HEAVEN--In an interview God held with CNN's Anderson Cooper on Sunday, He admitted that Pope Francis was right when he said, "The church no longer believes in a literal hell where people suffer. This doctrine is incompatible with the infinite love of...
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Funny story: Baphomet

Baphomet

"To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and ''there''! - Sarah Michelle Gellar Although some contend that Baphomet is a Marvel Comics super-villain, Baphomet is really the demon of parties and partygoers west of the Mississippi. As such, he (or she) is often depicted at parties in Las Vegas, Hollyweird, and various family nudist camps in Arizona and New Mexico, and some Oregonians inc...
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Funny story: State of emergency declared after hell freezes over...

State of emergency declared after hell freezes over...

Hell was struggling to return to normal just days after a massive storm dumped more than 3 feet of snow in much of the area. By early Sunday evening, reported power outages numbered fewer than 2,800, down from as many as 2,801 a day earlier. Most...
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Funny story: Jesse James shoots Ned Kelly!

Jesse James shoots Ned Kelly!

Ned Kelly, Irish-catholic, Australian rebel and bandit has just been buried after he lost a shoot-out with Jesse James in heaven. The whole thing started after a fight in a saloon called "Heaven and Hell Whores and Nuns". Jesse called Ned an Irish...
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Funny story: Mike Huckabee: 'You'll burn in hell if you vote Obama!'

Mike Huckabee: 'You'll burn in hell if you vote Obama!'

COLUMBIA, South Carolina (ABSNN) - In a televised statement, the former governor of this state, and an also-ran, Republican Presidential candidate, and evangelical preacher, Mike Huckabee, told voters today that if they voted for Obama they would go...
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Funny story: Hull To Be Renamed Hell? Over Your Dead Body

Hull To Be Renamed Hell? Over Your Dead Body

In response to a tourism drive instigated by council big wigs in the glorious city of Kingston Upon Hull, a protest group has been set up to stop the renaming of the city. Council chiefs had wanted to rename the city "Hell" which in Back and to the L...
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Funny story: Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive

Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive

Council chiefs in Kingston-Upon-Hull have unveiled a proposal designed to boost the city's tourism industry. Their madcap idea is to rename the city 'Hell'. Council spokesman Claude Dogsbody explained the barmy plans earlier today. "Tourism fig...
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Funny story: Nazis come from outer-space and now it's a fact!

Nazis come from outer-space and now it's a fact!

Nazis are not Satan's children and certainly do not originate from the cauldrons of hell because after finding an original Nazi and examining it; there is proof that they come from outer-space and travelled on meteorites! Originally the Nazi Bu...
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Funny story: The Dead Who Has Died Disturbed Stalks The Earth For Dick Cheney- A Horror Story

The Dead Who Has Died Disturbed Stalks The Earth For Dick Cheney- A Horror Story

There are levels of Hell that even Dante did not know. Hells that are not bright and hot but with an icy cold that freezes thought itself. Hells of place, of emotion, of mind, of other people. And there are places on earth where these Hells break to the surface and there manifest. There are types of the undead that have never been written of We know of vampires and werewolves and polterge...
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Funny story: Bin Laden speaks to mediums: "Heaven sucks but Hell's great."

Bin Laden speaks to mediums: "Heaven sucks but Hell's great."

Osama bin Laden speaking to mediums on the eve of the first commemoration of his death, says that he sure is in Hell, but he would not want it any other way. "The guys in Heaven all want to come down here. There's no hot stuff up there - not even...
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Funny story: Devil to be investigated by Trading Standards after "shafting" customers out of their souls

Devil to be investigated by Trading Standards after "shafting" customers out of their souls

News filtered in last night that The Devil is set to be investigated by a team of professionals from Trading Standards after accusations that he has been offering poor deals to people wishing to sell their souls. In the past The Devil has been kno...
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Bush Copyright

George Bush Senior has taken out copyright on the phrase "New World Order" that he made popular. Anybody using the phrase without his permission will be sued.
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