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Funny story: Viagra ban for Prince Philip

Viagra ban for Prince Philip

Windsor - "Bloody country's going to the dogs if a bloke can't have his little blue pills," a wrecked isle dysfunction specialist at the Palace said today as searing temperatures continued to cook Prince Philip's giblets. The nonagenarian curmudge...
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Funny story: ...In the good old summertime!

...In the good old summertime!

After better part of 20 months living in semi-darkness with household lights necessary during supposed daylight hours the UK is suddenly basking in what the weather clowns refer to as a 'heatwave'. For the average Pom the term 'heatwave' refers to...
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Funny story: Olympic Torch lights Indiana on fire, Wal-Mart to blame

Olympic Torch lights Indiana on fire, Wal-Mart to blame

St. Louis (SAPP) - The 2012 Olympics in London will be getting no help from the U.S.A. this year. Drought, heatwave, and burn bans have crippled the effort to send the Olympic Flame through the Midwest this year. But this may soon change. "This to...
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Funny story: Is the heatwave is a cynical conspiracy against soaring energy bills?

Is the heatwave is a cynical conspiracy against soaring energy bills?

London - A hush-hush meeting of UK energy providers has warned that draconian tariff increases in householders' heating bills are being deliberately thwarted by freakish weather conditions. Price increases of up to 19% had been targetted for the a...
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Funny story: Heatwave turns Princess Diana Fountain into toxic soup

Heatwave turns Princess Diana Fountain into toxic soup

London - "Smells like lobster gumbo during advanced putrefaction," worried Royal Parks Agency sources admitted today. By lunchtime hundreds of London sunbathers had been taken in droves to A&E as noxious fumes continued to spew from the tragic...
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Funny story: Bloomin heatwave sets fire to petunias shockhorror!

Bloomin heatwave sets fire to petunias shockhorror!

London - Barking resident Mrs Iris McReedy spoke of her dismay today after a greenhouse gas-fuelled solar arson attack fried the contents of her hanging basket. The octogenarian pensioner said she'd noticed 'a funny pong' "like smouldering compost...
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Funny story: Non-Hurricane Don Got His Butt Kicked By The Texas Heat Wave

Non-Hurricane Don Got His Butt Kicked By The Texas Heat Wave

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - People in the Lone Star state coastal town of Corpus Christi, known as The Sparkling City By The Bay did not even bother going out To Home Depot or Lowe's and purchasing plywood to board up their windows. Lifelong Corpus Ch...
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Funny story: National Weather Service Issues Idiot Warning for Most of U.S.

National Weather Service Issues Idiot Warning for Most of U.S.

Tracking temperatures well into the 90's across the United States, with some regions topping 100 degrees Fahrenheit, the National Weather Service has decided to escalate their normal advisory up to an "Idiot Warning" for the next two days. Advis...
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Funny story: Britain Must Prepare For 'Hottest Heatwave In Centuries' Say Experts

Britain Must Prepare For 'Hottest Heatwave In Centuries' Say Experts

As the twilight looms in the month of May, UK Met Office experts have warned of an impending heatwave, the likes of which have never been seen since last time. Weatherwatch spokesperson, Jenny Pendlebreast, explained that researchers have studied...
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Funny story: UK Weather Heads For Spanish Weekend

UK Weather Heads For Spanish Weekend

Large parts of the UK are set to enjoy temperatures of up to 81F (27C) this weekend thanks to a weather phenomenon know as the Spanish plume. Weather experts have warned that the conditions could have a massive effect on retail and catering. Th...
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Funny story: Health Alert Issued As Heatwave Set To Continue

Health Alert Issued As Heatwave Set To Continue

The Met Office has today issued a severe health warning as parts of the UK are set to see the mercury rise to a sultry 58 degrees Fahrenheit. The 400 page leaflet was produced amid growing concerns that a staggering 96% of British people fail to r...
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Funny story: NHS opens Heatwave Helpline

NHS opens Heatwave Helpline

During this evening's BBC Weather report, the whole nation breathed a sigh of relief to see that the good old NHS are providing a special helpline to give advice in relation to this weekend's expected heatwave. Temperatures are expected to reach 3...
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Funny story: Britain swelters in the heat

Britain swelters in the heat

With the news that today will be the hottest day in the history of Great Britain, forecasters are running out of countries to compare our current temperatures with. Monday saw temperatures exceed that of Greece, while Tuesday saw them soar past the S...
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Funny story: Heatwave in UK

Heatwave in UK

Famous for their hipshaking disco anthem 'Boogie Nights' the 70's funk group, Heatwave, are to play centre court at Wimbledon this Sunday, straight after the men's final. The ageing super group are urging all fans to be aware of overheating, espe...
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Funny story: UK Reels Under Plague Of Flies As Heatwave Kicks In

UK Reels Under Plague Of Flies As Heatwave Kicks In

As the UK swelters in levels of heat and humidity not seen for a long time, a secondary scourge has lashed UK residents - flies. The Met Office has delivered extreme weather warnings, but it appears nobody was prepared for the flies. The pesky...
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Funny story: Relentless heatwave, build-up to Earth's July 4 solar aphelion 'playing havoc with royal pacemaker'

Relentless heatwave, build-up to Earth's July 4 solar aphelion 'playing havoc with royal pacemaker'

Holyrood Palace - (Karmic Ass Mess): Scientists are warning that ominous solar activity and a surge in hot weather is playing havoc with the Queen's pacemaker. The Earth's July 4, Independence Day solar aphelion could effectively jam the microwave...
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Funny story: 'We All Scream For Ice Cream' Screams Parched Brit As UK Sizzles

'We All Scream For Ice Cream' Screams Parched Brit As UK Sizzles

British citizens, who traditionally love to twat on about the weather, have been having a right proper whinge as temperatures and humidity soared today. For a land more accustomed to grey skies and driving rain, the outbreak of hot weather has kno...
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Funny story: California utility deregulation turns deadly once again as rising death toll from heat wave climbs to 30, so far

California utility deregulation turns deadly once again as rising death toll from heat wave climbs to 30, so far

Los Angeles, California - Mostly the elderly, people with preexisting health conditions or people who live alone have been most negatively impacted by the Southern California heat wave that has taken 30 some lives so far. Los Angeles County corner...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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