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Funny story: Airports fast track security for sex toys

Airports fast track security for sex toys

Airports in the UK and US are now having to install express lanes for exhibitionists who pack adult toys in their hand luggage in the hope that they will be asked to 'prove they turn on'. Security staff are exasperated at the number of passengers...
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Funny story: London Mayor's 'River Thames Airport' vision edges ever closer as Heathrow faces being swept away in flooding disaster

London Mayor's 'River Thames Airport' vision edges ever closer as Heathrow faces being swept away in flooding disaster

London, UK - London Mayor Boris Johnson's vision of an airport on the Thames were rapidly becoming less of a pipe dream today as the UK's premier transport hub came under threat of being washed away by a huge wall of water creeping from the sodden T...
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Funny story: Renaming of Heathrow Airport's Terminal 2 a spooky omen

Renaming of Heathrow Airport's Terminal 2 a spooky omen

London - "Does it mean she'll kick the bucket tomorrow?" an air traffic controlled chuckled at today's announcement that a revamped Heathrow Airport building has just been named Terminal 2: The Queen's Terminal. "Everyone knows HM 'is terminal', h...
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Funny story: Location of third Heathrow runway revealed

Location of third Heathrow runway revealed

Leaked news from Balls House, headquarters of the Labour Party, has revealed Mr Milliband's preferred outcome of the airport review project. In an attempt to court support from all parties the Leader of the Opposition (sic) has asked his advisers to...
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Funny story: Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

Queasy Jet to open third Heathrow runway in Altrincham, Cheshire!

The contract for building another runway in London has been won by budget airline Queasy Jet. They have decided that Altrincham, some two hundred miles away near Manchester, is the perfect location. "On the scale of things," said Queasy Jet chairm...
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Funny story: Plans afoot to Bury Boris under third runway

Plans afoot to Bury Boris under third runway

Plans are well advanced for Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, to be buried under the new third runway at London Airport. The offer to Boris of a seat in the House of Lords in return for his silence on the issue has been turned down despite the title...
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Funny story: Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Heathrow Airport had to be closed to air traffic for two hour this morning when a kangaroo decided to take a hop along a runway Having just arrived on the scheduled Australia Airlines flight from Sydney the marsupial then escaped down to the tarma...
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Funny story: Over there, tell 'em, that the Yanks are coming! The Yanks are coming!

Over there, tell 'em, that the Yanks are coming! The Yanks are coming!

Heathrow, LONDON: With many teenagers employed by G4S on £8.50 per hour, deciding to take days off to watch Jeremy Kyle or soaps, there may be trouble ahead. But why has the Olympic Security become a 'car crash', waiting to happen? Lord Coe et al...
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Funny story: Budget Airline Boss to Reduce Border Control Queues

Budget Airline Boss to Reduce Border Control Queues

Irish budget airline mogul Mick O'Really is set to solve the UK border control crisis with his latest venture. His new 'Pay and Arrive' scheme is set to dramatically reduce queues at London's Heathrow airport this summer. Executive of Pay and Ar...
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Funny story: Rionnaires' disease deaths may soar

Rionnaires' disease deaths may soar

Further deaths from an outbreak of Rionnaires' disease are highly likely, doctors warned yesterday. The recent outbreak is centred on Heathrow, and the number of confirmed cases rose to 157 (although some have been lost). And there are still thous...
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Funny story: Heathrow Passport Control Queues: Tough Tits, Says Official

Heathrow Passport Control Queues: Tough Tits, Says Official

Members of the UK Border Force are enjoying holding up people trying to get through passpoprt control at Heathrow, we can reveal. Waiting times have been seriously affected by the Easter holidays with some passengers waiting for more than an hour...
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Funny story: Steward, Paul Schwing, believes Mystery Blonde is on his aeroplane (airplane) heading for Heathrow.

Steward, Paul Schwing, believes Mystery Blonde is on his aeroplane (airplane) heading for Heathrow.

Steward, Paul Schwing, emailed his partner George Snapalogupos, who works for a Greek Airline, just before Paul's British Airway's flight A069, left Buffalo Airport, New York,this evening, heading for Heathrow Airport, London, England. George imme...
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Funny story: ConDem Government to extend London underground and Heathrow

ConDem Government to extend London underground and Heathrow

In a brave move to "get Britain moving", the Department for Transport has announced a dramatic plan for both the London Underground and Heathrow Airport. The Minister for Transport, Con Seezontiquet, announced that work starts immediately on exten...
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Funny story: UK gay couple cause bomb scare at Heathrow, it was in his pink handbag!

UK gay couple cause bomb scare at Heathrow, it was in his pink handbag!

After a slight altercation at home, a gay man stormed out of the place with a bulging handbag threatening to blow up Heathrow. The man (?) a 72 year old pensioner was last seen rushing towards the airport and could be easily identified because of the...
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Funny story: Terminal 5 suspect package belonged to Lady Gaga

Terminal 5 suspect package belonged to Lady Gaga

The examination of a suspect package that temporarily closed a section of Terminal 5 is rumoured to have belonged to pop diva Lady Gaga. A spokesman confirmed the incident saying they were aware of the allegation that the pop biscuit may have been...
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Funny story: Animals check in at Heathrow's special Animal Reception Centre

Animals check in at Heathrow's special Animal Reception Centre

Animals arriving at Heathrow airport, even those transferring to other flights, must now pass through the Animal Reception Centre. A spokesperson stated that it is well known that drugs and other contraband are smuggled in using animals from various...
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Funny story: Leak Claims Heathrow's Christmas Failure Was On The Cards

Leak Claims Heathrow's Christmas Failure Was On The Cards

In the wake of Heathrow Airport's shocking inability to handle the winter weather, a snitchy insider has claimed that those in charge of the laughing stock of the air travel industry were always going to show their incompetence and inability to deal...
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Funny story: Heathrow Airport, UK, promise stranded passengers the biggest Christmas Party on the planet!

Heathrow Airport, UK, promise stranded passengers the biggest Christmas Party on the planet!

Heathrow Airport, UK, are a bunch of incapable losers claim many stranded tourists hoping to escape the "Christmas tinsel plastic hell" that the British festive season has turned into. Due to the terrible weather Heathrow seem to be totally hopele...
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Showing page 1 (of 5 pages)
Breaking News...

Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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