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Funny story: Mary Poppins DVDs Seized -Julie Andrew arrested in Global "Honey Trap"

Mary Poppins DVDs Seized -Julie Andrew arrested in Global "Honey Trap"

In one of the biggest co-ordinated international police swoops in history, Disney Productions California was cordoned off and Julie Andrew was arrested in the early hours of this morning. An F.B.I source said, "We have a result". The culmination...
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Funny story: Studies Reveal Stabbing Yourself With a Bread Knife May Lead to Death

Studies Reveal Stabbing Yourself With a Bread Knife May Lead to Death

As shocking as it sounds, multiple studies have recently shown that stabbing yourself with a bread knife may actually increase the chances of severe injuries, and in some cases may even cause death, despite the widely-held belief that doing so actual...
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Funny story: U.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!

U.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!

The good old Department of Health, Education and Welfare has been delaying news we could have used earlier but, as always, they "didn't want to start a panic". Well, better a panic than catching a mutating flu that fights off antibiotics. Although...
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Funny story: Health and safety update the banned list

Health and safety update the banned list

Britain's Health and Safety Executive have recently updated their banned list or household items that are no longer allowed in public buildings. "The first item on the latest list," said Daisy Bump, chairman of the H&SE, "is welcome mats. Thes...
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Funny story: Health & Safety Executive Announce Ban On Shaving

Health & Safety Executive Announce Ban On Shaving

"Razors have sharp edges" stated H&S Executive Everard Fortescue today after the release of a shocking shock report on shaving accidents in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. "People are bleeding" says Mr Fortescue - "an...
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Funny story: Pet tortoise makes rapid return

Pet tortoise makes rapid return

A pet tortoise disappeared from a house in Hooselow but was discovered after five minutes scooting back through the side entrance. This could well be a world record for the return of a pet tortoise. Most tortoises disappear for weeks at a time, an...
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Funny story: Trains could be given anti-flatulence re-design

Trains could be given anti-flatulence re-design

Train carriages could soon be built to give better passenger protection against those engaging in extreme flatulence, following a three-year study. Scientists have devised a set of key changes that could contain explosive blasts and reduce the amo...
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Funny story: Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg made the Big Apple less appetizing to the city's cannibal community today, introducing a new Health Department regulation that limits flesh eating to "one pound per person per day." The restriction came on the he...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - City Health Inspectors rated the restaurant owned by Lady Gaga "at below 'C' level for 42 critical sanitation violations." The very best rating is "A." The report was released today and was actually a re-inspection of...
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Funny story: Sparks and Mensa launch their Health and Safety fashion range

Sparks and Mensa launch their Health and Safety fashion range

Sparks and Mensa, the high street department store for the fashion conscious and intelligent, has announced the launch of it's new range of Health and Safety clothing. "Hi-viz jackets are useful," said range designer, Wok Gann. "What they're not i...
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Funny story: Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

The horrendous accident occurred at somewhere around nine am this morning in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Burnley, Lancashire, owned by Spoffco, a novelty greetings card company. Alert employees immediately called the emergency services...
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Funny story: Steps out say authorities

Steps out say authorities

In a shock move the Health and Safety Executive has announced a ban on stairs. A spokesman said that they had been considering this move for some time and had now reached a firm conclusion. Balls House, headquarters of the Labour Party, announced...
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Funny story: Children's Swimming lessons cancelled - due to fire risk.

Children's Swimming lessons cancelled - due to fire risk.

Lessons in swimming for children up to the age of eleven have been cancelled in Dorking after a local fire safety marshal deemed the Dorking Leisure Centre swimming baths unsafe, and a fire hazard. "It is impossible to get thirty children out of t...
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Funny story: Little House On The Prairie A Death Trap Says Building Inspector

Little House On The Prairie A Death Trap Says Building Inspector

Building Inspectors in the small town of Walnut Grove, Minnesota, have called a house, built by the owner "a death trap" and that the residence needs to be demolished or brought up to code by the end of week. The house has no smoke alarms, an ope...
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Funny story: Anti-slippers are a must buy for the safety conscious

Anti-slippers are a must buy for the safety conscious

The Safety in the Home Instructional Task-force has produced its recommendations to cut down on accidents in the home. The main outcome of the five year study is that the slippers are to blame for just over half of all home based accidents. "In fi...
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Funny story: Nottingham Spoofer suffers 'Spoof Withdrawal Syndrome' - rushed to hospital!

Nottingham Spoofer suffers 'Spoof Withdrawal Syndrome' - rushed to hospital!

The Internet Health & Safety Monitoring & Investigation Unit, are looking into claims of relatives of an elderly Spoofer, Inchcock Chambers, of Nottingham, that he suffered a setback in his cardiac recovery programme, caused by the site being...
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Funny story: Nottingham Health & Safety Executive Close Down Stalls at Charity Fair

Nottingham Health & Safety Executive Close Down Stalls at Charity Fair

Nottingham Health & Safety Executive have closed stalls down at a local Charity Fair, that was being held over the weekend, in support of the Lithuanian & Bulgarian Immigrants Benefit Claiming Association Inc. The Council's Chief Executive...
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Funny story: Action Urged Over Propelling Pencil Safety

Action Urged Over Propelling Pencil Safety

Government and health officials are being urged to take action over safety issues relating to propelling pencils. The call comes after a weekend when a local man "narrowly escaped death" while trying to replace the lead in his Yard-O-Led pencil.
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Breaking News...

Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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