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"Food habits must change. Fit people are a danger to society", says Health Minister

The NHS is to slash costs by targeting fit and healthy people. Following publication of its Advise Leaflet today, "Grease up your life! Eat more fatty food and avoid sport!", GPs are being encouraged to adopt a new approach when consulting patients.

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Local Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court

Funny story: Local Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court

Local Hospital, Last Resort Methodist, has opened its second food court in an effort to get more patients into the hospital. “The first food court didn’t have enough disease in their food. This time, with options like McFryBird and Lard Cow, we’r...

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In New Study Harvard University Finds Vaping Causes Loneliness

Funny story: In New Study Harvard University Finds Vaping Causes Loneliness

Vaping is the act of inhaling and exhaling an aerosol, often referred to as vapor, which is produced by an e-cigarette or similar device. Aerosol, often mistaken for water vapor, actually consists of fine particles. Many of these particles contain va...

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NHS to be outsourced

Sainsbury's and Tesco are the big winners of an invitation to tender organized by the NHS to cut costs and outsource specific services. Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Health, welcomed the news, calling it a 'milestone' in the history of healt...

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FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Funny story: FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...

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Trump Says All Health Insurance Is Just a Scam

Funny story: Trump Says All Health Insurance Is Just a Scam

Trump Tower, New York, NY Reacting to his attempts to repeal Obamacare, Trump spoke his mind on health insurance. "It's very expensive, and what does it actually do? Makes money for doctors and nurses. They are the ones taking all the money. Unles...

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Trump reveals Obamacare replacement

Funny story: Trump reveals Obamacare replacement

After weeks of speculation, President Trump has finally revealed his healthcare plan which will replace Obamacare, and which he hopes will be voted through by the Senate. "It's the best healthcare plan ever," he smirked. "It's so cheap and availab...

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Trump Administration Releases Money Saving Tips For New Trump Health Plan

Funny story: Trump Administration Releases Money Saving Tips For New Trump Health Plan

Washington, DC Surgeon General Dr. Niles Crane has released a list of things Americans can do to reduce their health care costs under the new Trump health plan. 1. Stop going to the doctor so much Everybody should buy some bandages and other me...

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After Trumpcare, Donald Trump Is Leader of the Expensive World

For the first 100 days of his presidency, Donald Trump was undisputedly the leader of the free world. After passing Trumpcare, the new Republican health care bill that will reportedly cut several federal subsidies for healthcare, many Americans agree...

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Long Awaited GOP Healthcare Legislation Labelled "TreasonCare"

Funny story: Long Awaited GOP Healthcare Legislation Labelled "TreasonCare"

After the president strenuously said he doesn't want the new Republican healthcare plan to be called Trumpcare, the fiscally conservative House Freedom Caucus started calling it TreasonCare. Democrats and liberals described the new law and cuts to...

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"An Immodest Proposal: Leak of Sensitive Document"

An unidentified source working for a junior congressperson in the Capitol building has provided this reporter with an addendum to the American Healthcare Act. The full text is given below: H.R. xxxxxx-An Addendum to the American Healthcare Act...

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Trump Will Dismantle Obamacare and Start Trumpcare

Funny story: Trump Will Dismantle Obamacare and Start Trumpcare

Trump Tower, NY Trump announced that he will fulfill one of his campaign promises right away. "We will start up Trump Hospitals to provide cut-rate health care for poor people. Then they will not have to be in the same waiting rooms with people th...

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Texas Requires Men Who Masturbate To Have Burial Services For ALL Of Thier Unborn Children

Funny story: Texas Requires Men Who Masturbate To Have Burial Services For ALL Of Thier Unborn Children

In Earth, Texas, 15 year old Jess Mobley is like a lot of teenage boys: he plays sports and likes video games, and like other boys his age, he masturbates a lot and often has wet dreams--but under new "Sanctity of Life" laws already enacted in Texas,...

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The tooth and nothing but the tooth: Donald Trump defends dental floss

Funny story: The tooth and nothing but the tooth: Donald Trump defends dental floss

New York - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has come down hard on the recent government report that calls dental floss "a waste of time." "This is bad news, folks," Trump said. "First they rigged the dentist chair so they could play...

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Government proposes legislation to regulate the quality of medical care for the dead

Funny story: Government proposes legislation to regulate the quality of medical care for the dead

Philadelphia, PA - Growing concern for loved ones who have passed on has been a boon to the burgeoning death care industry. Still, uncertainties exist regarding the quality of medical care for the deceased. For years the death care market has gone un...

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Left Wing Liberal Nuts Go On A Run For The Ages!

Funny story: Left Wing Liberal Nuts Go On A Run For The Ages!

Washington, D.C - How do you cap off a Democratic Presidency that seems to have gotten almost nothing done for nearly eight long years? Well, a good way to start is to gather all the whack job liberals you can find after a really gruesome, racially m...

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"Health tourism" visitors say it's the best holiday they've ever had

Health tourism is currently one of the UK's fastest growing industries, as Europeans flock to our country to take advantage of our overstretched national health service. Though some politicians claim that it's a bad thing, health tourists themselves...

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Obama Tackles Fluoridation

Funny story: Obama Tackles Fluoridation

President Barack Obama is considering acting against the fluoridation of drinking water in the US. Almost seventy percent of the nation's household water supply is currently fluoridated despite the mounting evidence that it is actually injurious to h...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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