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Funny story:  Blimey! - Now Fresh Fruit Veg and Meat Are Bad For You!

Blimey! - Now Fresh Fruit Veg and Meat Are Bad For You!

Food Writers at the Daily Maile have announced that if people simply cut out fresh meat, fruit and veg from their diet they will probably live forever. The new findings, which are totally made up, say that processed food like burgers and sausages, ch...
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Funny story:  FGM surgeons deny being members of 'New Labia'

FGM surgeons deny being members of 'New Labia'

Surgeons charged with Female Genital Mutilation were said to be 'in a bit of a flap' after accusations that they were members of a widely discredited organisation known as New Labia. New Labia almost faced charges of statutory rape ten years ago,...
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Funny story:  Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

These Top Ten Ways to lose weight are easy as falling off a log. (Guess I better take that one off). 1. Always sleep on a vibrating bed. 2. Go Over A Fence that has a warning sign, "Dozen Bulls Horny Here!" 3. Crap on your food. 4. Easiest Push-Ups! (Pushing Up Daisies) 5. Snack on salted packing peanuts! 6. When introducing yourself at 'Get Acquainted Singles Meet', "Hello, my n...
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Funny story:  Parents object to condoms in sex ed lessons

Parents object to condoms in sex ed lessons

BEAN TOWN, MA -- Boston public schools have suspended the distribution of condoms-well some condoms. Specifically, officials will no longer provide, upon request, any condom that is packaged in a wrapper that encourage users to "hump one," advertises...
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Funny story:  Previously Unrecognized Benefits of Tobacco Smoking

Previously Unrecognized Benefits of Tobacco Smoking

Cigarettes are generally considered bad for you. But here are a few things that may cast the practice in a slightly different light. !.) Smokers get outside, away from their desks and computer screens several times per day. Since smoking is disallowed in virtually every workplace, restaurant, bar, or public building, smokers are forced out into the great outdoors. Although they are unable...
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Funny story:  Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

According to the latest buzz from health clubs and fitness gurus, the formerly wildly popular Paleo Diet has been supplanted by the new Sociopath or "Socio" Diet, which skyrockets meat-centric eating to new dimensions of amorality. Sources say the Socio Diet has particularly caught fire in high-power urban centers like New York City and Washington, D.C. Want to incorporate some "Socio" into you...
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Funny story:  Time for a National Conversation

Time for a National Conversation

My fellow Americans, today we face another round of criticism from our adversaries. They have accused our administration of being "feckless" in the face of the 21st Century and its many challenges. Rather than go on the defensive and merely answer to a strict definition of the term, we will respond positively and comprehensively, just as we did when we overcame last year's charges that we we...
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Funny story:  Studies Reveal Stabbing Yourself With a Bread Knife May Lead to Death

Studies Reveal Stabbing Yourself With a Bread Knife May Lead to Death

As shocking as it sounds, multiple studies have recently shown that stabbing yourself with a bread knife may actually increase the chances of severe injuries, and in some cases may even cause death, despite the widely-held belief that doing so actual...
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Funny story:  Queen Elizabeth to renew wedding vows in Edinburgh

Queen Elizabeth to renew wedding vows in Edinburgh

The "Mother of all hen parties" has been booked in Ibiza for the Queen's wedding vow renewal booked on 18th September to take attention away from Scotland's Independence referendum. Containers of sexy balloons, Queen outfits, plastic tickler orbs...
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Funny story:  Selena Gomez Cancels Tour Under Doctor's Orders!

Selena Gomez Cancels Tour Under Doctor's Orders!

Selena Gomez has announced that she is cancelling her tour overseas and will have tests ran to see what her problems are all about. "I simply do not feel like that tour and I wanted it very much", she told reporters. "I don't know what is wrong. I...
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Funny story:  An Examination of the Worth of Cow Urine

An Examination of the Worth of Cow Urine

New Delhi invented a new product made from cow urine that has a wide range of cures from cancer, diarrhea, to diabetes. It is on sale by the Bharatiya Janata Party and one of their officials claims, "My daughter tried all kinds of things" to rid of h...
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Funny story:  ...Workhouse shuffle - Patients to be charged for hospital stay

...Workhouse shuffle - Patients to be charged for hospital stay

Patients should be charged £10 to see their Doctor and a £10 "hotel charge" to stay the night in hospital, a leading stink-tank has said. The fees could be among a raft of levies introduced to raise extra cash to fund the NHS rather than charge, a...
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Funny story:  Obese to Solve Cameron's Energy Price Crisis

Obese to Solve Cameron's Energy Price Crisis

In a panicked response to Ed Miliband's popular policy of freezing energy prices, Prime Minister David Cameron today made an unscheduled visit to the House of Commons to announce a new personally endorsed initiative to solve his government's energy p...
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Funny story:  Over-Eating Could Lead to Obesity, Study Shows

Over-Eating Could Lead to Obesity, Study Shows

PHILADELPHIA--A recent study shows that over-eating may be one of the leading causes of obesity in Americans age 9-72. The Foundation for American Thickness Today and Yesterday (FATTY) issued the report last week, detailing the findings of their y...
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Funny story:  Anti-Smoking Ad Campaign Gets Teen Drunk

Anti-Smoking Ad Campaign Gets Teen Drunk

Valvoline, MI - Various public health advertisement campaigns in recent years have depicted graphic ads showing real smokers and the physical pains that they suffer including tracheotomy valves and the like. Studies show that the advertisements have...
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Funny story:  Study Reveals Jeans Do Not Make Asses Look Fat

Study Reveals Jeans Do Not Make Asses Look Fat

LOS ANGELES, CA - An ongoing UCLA study has recently unveiled results that may shock many. "Jeans do not make a woman's ass look fat," reported Dr. Mack Daday, "a woman's ass makes a woman's ass look fat, plain and simple." Some of the studen...
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Funny story:  Meth Addicted Dentist Losing Clients As He Loses His Own Teeth

Meth Addicted Dentist Losing Clients As He Loses His Own Teeth

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA - "It's not like I don't do quality work," states Dr. Ernest Spunn, "I have been making my living on quality AND quantity. I have been moving through people in sheer volume, especially when I'm tweaking! Root canals, extractions,...
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Funny story:  Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health

Woman Breastfeeds Wild Donkey Back To Health

In Mississippi, where wild donkeys are often seen walking the landscape in search of rough scrub and brush foliage, a woman found a young malnourished foal in need of attention. "I saw the little guy limping in my back yard and cried for the poor...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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