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Funny satire stories about Haggis

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Funny story: Haggis Arrested Following Robbery

Haggis Arrested Following Robbery

Coppers have rounded up a runaway gang of vagrant haggis bank robbers in the highlands. The haggis, of which there were eighteen, were found running around in circles in a swamp on Glen Regis with a sack full of Swiss bank notes and a barrel of b...
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Funny story: Milwaukee OB&G Bartender Sent to State Mental Hospital after Haggis and Absynth Attacks on Patrons

Milwaukee OB&G Bartender Sent to State Mental Hospital after Haggis and Absynth Attacks on Patrons

Following an evening of strange behavior behind the brass rail, the head weeknight bartender at the Oasis Bar & Grille in Milwaukee reportedly lost control of his mental faculties, assaulting patrons with both food and beverages. "It was horri...
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Funny story: More Haggis Eaten In England Than Scotland

More Haggis Eaten In England Than Scotland

England has overtaken Scotland as the top market for that iconic Scots dish, Haggis. Midlothian-based MacSween produces 1,000 tons of the "chieftain o' the puddin' race" every year, which is enough for about five million portions. But 60 per cent...
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Funny story: Chinese New Year and Burns Night merged

Chinese New Year and Burns Night merged

With Chinese New Year arriving just two days before the Scottish celebration of Burns Night, it has been decided to amalgamate the two massive events in the global calendar and have Chinese Burns Night. "This is going to be phenomenal," said Wu Ma...
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Funny story: Scotland's "War on Haggis" not working

Scotland's "War on Haggis" not working

First Minister of Scotland Jock McSporran has admitted publicly that his government's policies on controlling the country's obesity problem have not been as successful as planned. Scotland introduced a ban on deep fried produce in 2010, after the Cel...
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Funny story: Lad in Scotland vows to "Get to the bottom of this Haggis craze"

Lad in Scotland vows to "Get to the bottom of this Haggis craze"

Ian MacAfferty, 17, of Dumbarton announced on Wednesday to the BBC that he plans to "get to the bottom of this haggis craze". Young Mr. MacAfferty plans to prove that the origin and the adaptation of haggis into the Scottish cuisine is "all a plot...
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Funny story: Queen Declares Haggis as Scottish State Bird

Queen Declares Haggis as Scottish State Bird

Following a series of announcements designed to transition Scotland to a more independent state, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has declared that Haggis should now be considered the Scottish State Bird. Immediately engaged in damage control over...
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Funny story: SuBo Fanatics To Hold Wild Haggis Hunt

SuBo Fanatics To Hold Wild Haggis Hunt

Contrary to popular belief, the Wild Haggis (Haggis scoticus) is neither a mythical creature nor extinct. Although nearly hunted to the verge of extinction, a colony of this shy and reclusive creature has retreated to the banks of the River Almond a...
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Funny story: Scots Take Exception To Saddam Hussein Haggis Revelations

Scots Take Exception To Saddam Hussein Haggis Revelations

A new book claiming that Saddam Hussein was a massive devotee of the Scottish delicacy, haggis, has provoked outrage in the English colony. A spokesman from the Kirkentilloch Kilt Society claimed that the contents of the book constituted a concert...
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Funny story: Hunting Haggis in the Highlands of Scotland

Hunting Haggis in the Highlands of Scotland

An American has been hunting Haggis in the highlands of Scotland even although he has been repeatedly told that there is no such creature as the haggis. Haggis is actually a Scottish dish served up mainly on Burns day which consists of a sheep's h...
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Funny story: Haggisburgers Are Coming

Haggisburgers Are Coming

Glaswegian fast-food magnate, Ronnie MacDonald (no relation), has predicted that his latest culinary invention, the haggisburger, will revolutionise take-away eating throughout the world. "The haggisburger is coming," he declared proudly, "and wil...
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Funny story: Rangers Fans Travel To Manchester By Haggis

Rangers Fans Travel To Manchester By Haggis

More than half a million Glasgow Rangers football fans have descended on Manchester for tonight's UEFA Cup Final, with many having come from places around the entire globe, and some even having travelled there by haggis!
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Funny story: Don't Go North

Don't Go North

Virgin Trains have issued a warning to all travelers, telling them not to head north for Christmas. They said "severe disruption" would hit services over the Christmas season due to engineering work being carried out on main routes between...
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Funny story: Global Warming links to Decline of Haggis

Global Warming links to Decline of Haggis

Researchers from Glasgow University have linked the decline in Haggis to Global Warming. Professor Robertson commented that the recent warm weather had spoiled the Haggis traditional feeding ground.
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Funny story: Blair Seized in Brown 'Haggis' Racist Attack

Blair Seized in Brown 'Haggis' Racist Attack

In scenes more suited to the fictional Big Brother household, Tony Blair, was last night seized by police after staggering out of 10 Downing Street carrying a lager can, wearing a Beckham shirt, and shouting racist abuse at his neighbour, Gordon Brow...
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Iron Man Booted Out of Avengers for Drunken Flying..Again!

Captain America and Hulk met the press to make the sad announcement that Iron Man was no longer a member of the Avengers due to his alcoholism. "He PROMISED it wouldn't happen again!" said the Hulk.

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