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Funny story: Gunbattle TV: new in 2026

Gunbattle TV: new in 2026

Today, 18 January 2026, we can report the launch of America's newest and most exciting channel. Gunbattle TV will start at midnight tonight. It will initially run for a few hours each night, before expanding into 24-hour format within the first year.
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Funny story: Congress Gangs Up On ISIS

Congress Gangs Up On ISIS

Capitol Hill - Lawmakers are launching a new strategy to fight the ISIS threat, creating the nation's first Homeboy Security Gang. The street-level enforcement group will include every American citizen, except for those who are already in pris...
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Funny story: Police say gunman left gun behind

Police say gunman left gun behind

Some good news today in the media world of bad news and badder news and sometimes just awful news. Police Chief Witello Harmon stated in front of the Post Office in Lampire, Ohio (the only post office in the city) that an armed, unarmed gunman was...
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Funny story: NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA spokesmilf Sierra Paylin caught the first available flight to San Bernardino (She even spelled it right!) to address the press with regards to an issue that has been bugging the NRA for years: "How is it possible for any deranged nut in this c...
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Funny story: Obama Orders American Flag Lowered to Half-Staff in Anticipation of Next Mass Shooting

Obama Orders American Flag Lowered to Half-Staff in Anticipation of Next Mass Shooting

WASHINGTON--Noting it was best to "get a jump on this thing," President Obama ordered a preemptive lowering of the nation's flags to half-staff in anticipation of the next mass shooting to befall the country Friday. "At this juncture, I feel...
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Funny story: Man The Barricades

Man The Barricades

[According to the website of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, the U.S. firearm homicide rate is 20 times higher than the combined rates of 22 countries that have similar wealth and population.] Quick - there's not a minute to lose! Prompt action to keep out those foreigners is the only thing that will save us! They're coming from some lawless place that is wracked with violence, wh...
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Funny story: Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Yesterday morning, everyone in the lower forty-eight states was killed or critically wounded in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. Investigators from Canada's RCMP and Mexico's Policia Federales issued the following joint statement (as they...
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Funny story: Newscorp announces a new 24/7 news network, GlockNews, to provide exclusive mass-shooting coverage.

Newscorp announces a new 24/7 news network, GlockNews, to provide exclusive mass-shooting coverage.

New York, NY: In a statement today, Rupert Murdoch announced a new cable news network to focus solely on event details and aftermath coverage surrounding mass shootings in the United States. A Newscorp spokesman, Ted Trigger said, "The sheer amount o...
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Funny story: Upholding constitutional rights proves an easy feat for one University

Upholding constitutional rights proves an easy feat for one University

President Tonto recently upheld the constitutional protection for students to bear arms within the classroom and other public and private areas on the campus of Dumas State University. For weeks, students have staged sit-ins and demonstrations evoki...
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Funny story: "Carpenter, you have spilled the whiskey!" Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Carpenter, you have spilled the whiskey!" Bang! Bang! Bang!

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. - Next summer's vacation season, if you visit Daytona Beach, you can stop by a gun range that's connected to a "booze-filled restaurant," do some target practice with your .44 magnum, get a bite to eat, and then you can do some sh...
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Funny story: NRA President Wayne Lapierre Sends Thoughts and Prayers to the Families of Future Victims of America's Next Mass Shooting

NRA President Wayne Lapierre Sends Thoughts and Prayers to the Families of Future Victims of America's Next Mass Shooting

NRA President Wayne Lapierre held a press conference in Wiltchester, Texas today sending thoughts and prayers to the unknown family members who will tragically lose somebody to America's raging gun violence problem. "We don't know who they are yet...
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Funny story: Hindu community of Winston-Salem, NC overjoyed that gunmen only shot the outdoor sign.

Hindu community of Winston-Salem, NC overjoyed that gunmen only shot the outdoor sign.

Winston-Salem, NC: In response to the front sign shooting of the center belonging to the Om Hindu Organization of North Carolina, (link: http://huff.to/1TMaHRy) The local Hindu community, many of whom frequent the center have expressed sincere adulat...
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Funny story: New Gun Lover Utopia Opening Now

New Gun Lover Utopia Opening Now

Another mass shooting happened minutes ago in one of our lovely 50 states and people are reeling; grieving for the victims and calling for stricter gun rules. Your first reaction is to run to your guns and sit on the safe like a paranoid, broody hen-pecking at the mere thought of anyone taking away your collection. You sing lullabies to your AR-15, kiss your Glock G40 goodnight and polish up yo...
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Funny story: N.R.A. Announces "Heat Packin' Pastors" Program

N.R.A. Announces "Heat Packin' Pastors" Program

Washington D.C. The NRA is drawing ire from gun control lobbyist over a program aimed at helping pastors in low income communities obtain hand guns and free target shooting courses. The Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence called it "audacious and...
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Funny story: Florida Stands It's Ground

Florida Stands It's Ground

While Indiana Navy veterans have been hand wringing over whether or not the Religious Freedom Restoration Act/[S.B.568] would include past youthful indiscretions at sea; some eye-popping legislative initiatives in Florida have slipped right through t...
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Funny story: Gun nut says White Americans (only) Should Own Artillery

Gun nut says White Americans (only) Should Own Artillery

Gun nut, racist, xenophobe, homophobe and staunch NRA supporter Clem Snout made an emotionally charged speech today on the state of "his" America. Well that's just a bunch of liberal crapola what them Jews and fags and darkies say about too many guns! The more firepower in the hands of white Americans the better - and I mean even kinda weirdy WHITE Americans! -- If a few folks get nailed alo...
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Funny story: Gun-Nut Confession Sheds Light on These Sad Defective Men

Gun-Nut Confession Sheds Light on These Sad Defective Men

I have a locker full of guns and ammo. I spend hours every week cleaning my beautiful weapons and reading about guns and ammo. I spend hours at the range shooting and in the woods shooting stuff and then in the bar talking with my gun nut buddies and on line telling gun control folks to fuck off. At night, I just love to look and fondle my guns and when I am in bed I dream about using them to...
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Funny story: Death to Seat Belts! Republicans Demand End to All 'Fascistic' Road and Car Regulations

Death to Seat Belts! Republicans Demand End to All 'Fascistic' Road and Car Regulations

Washington-Feeling restrained by that seat belt? Resent being told you can't text and drive? Hate going to the DMV? The new Republican-controlled Congress is riding like John Wayne to your rescue! Fueled by Tea Party anger and led by glamorous cas...
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Trump has no need of prayer . . .

. . . says he can talk to himself anytime he wants to.
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