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Billionaire Bill Gates Wants To Buy Burger King

Funny story: Billionaire Bill Gates Wants To Buy Burger King

MIAMI - Multi-billionaire Bill Gates visited the headquarters of Burger King and talked to the company's CEO about the possibility of him purchasing the global hamburger franchise chain. Gates mentioned that ever since he was 16½ he has dreamed ab...

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Chewing Gum: The New Pavement Protector

Funny story: Chewing Gum: The New Pavement Protector

Special to TPN - Constance Masticar, of the International Chewing Gum association, released data that offered hope for the world's deteriorating infrastructure: "Chewing gum has been building up on the world's paved surfaces since it was first used 9...

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Lady Gaga has unusual taste

Funny story: Lady Gaga has unusual taste

In a story that is horrifying both because of its content and the media coverage that has followed in its aftermath, Lady Gaga was seen engaging in bizarre behavior to satisfy her unusual taste. She was caught outside a middle school in New York...

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Former bubble-gum champion robs sweet-shop

A champion bubble-gum blower is starting another 5-year prison sentence after an armed attack on a sweet-shop in Gateshead. Alan Wrigley, 45, was named in the Guinness Book of Records as the young British record-holder after blowing an 18-inch bub...

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Nevada Bans Chewing Gum

Funny story: Nevada Bans Chewing Gum

CARSON CITY, Nevada - The Nevada State Senate acting on a request of the vast majority of the Las Vegas Gambling casinos has just voted on a bill regarding the chewing of chewing gum. State Senator Hula Hanna Dimpsydew, 46, [D-Reno] stated that th...

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U.S. Economy Stronger; Bubble Gum and Condom Sales Skyrocket

Funny story: U.S. Economy Stronger; Bubble Gum and Condom Sales Skyrocket

Leading economic indicators show the U.S. economy growing stronger, influencing the recovery of world markets and bolstering consumer confidence. Non durable goods distributors report record sales on "feel good" items like bubble gum and condoms.

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Sir Alex Relieved Gamble Paid Off

Funny story: Sir Alex Relieved Gamble Paid Off

Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson declared himself a "relieved man " after his big gamble paid off as the club cruised through to the Champions League Final at Wembley at the end of the month. Fergie, at the grand old age of 70, still has the capacit...

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Osama Bin Laden Bubblegum Trading Cards Taken Off Of The Market

Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Bubblegum Trading Cards Taken Off Of The Market

CHICAGO - The leader in the bubblegum trading card industry has decided that it will honor the request of its thousands of card buying customers and fans and remove all Osama Bin Laden Bubblegum Trading Cards from their store displays. A spokesper...

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The Truth Behind John "Weeper of The House" Boehner's Constant Crying

Funny story: The Truth Behind John "Weeper of The House" Boehner's Constant Crying

CINCINNATI, Ohio - A man who went to high school with Speaker of the House John Boehner has told a reporter for The Cincinnati Afternoon Informant newspaper that he knows exactly why it is that Boehner is almost constantly crying when he is on televi...

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WikiLeaks Plugged with Gum; Spearmint, Officials Say

Funny story: WikiLeaks Plugged with Gum; Spearmint, Officials Say

While the U.S. Department of State scrambles to mitigate the damage caused by the last ouster of Internet tidbits from various embassies around the world, Hillary Clinton has advised her own staff to remove the network cables from office computers an...

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The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

Funny story: The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

Old Trafford, Manchester: £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza who has not been loyal to his wife, understandably is not loyal to his football club and now wants a move from Manchester United and Chewing Gum Fergie. In what has been classic Chewing Gum Ferg...

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Sir Alex Ferguson is 'fine(d)' after BBC snub and keeps counsel with his chewing gum!

Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson is 'fine(d)' after BBC snub and keeps counsel with his chewing gum!

The Mighty Reds team bus: Sir Alex Ferguson was cheerily chewing away at his chewing gum after, yet again, 'cocking another snoop' at the BBC. Many years ago, the BBC dared to investigate through it's 'flagship' Panarama programme, a documentary...

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'Snakey' Wins Gum-Chewers Final!

Funny story: 'Snakey' Wins Gum-Chewers Final!

Tension was rife in the final stages of the Inter-County Professional Gum Chewing league, as 'Snakey' Henderson came out on top after chowing down against arch rival 'Bunty' Harry Tripp. The two competitors had each fought valiantly through the in...

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Alex Ferguson could quit Manchester United to enter World Chewing Gum Championships

Funny story: Alex Ferguson could quit Manchester United to enter World Chewing Gum Championships

Alex Ferguson is considering leaving as Manager, of Manchester United, to enter the World Chewing Gum Championships. For the last two years Mr I Chew, Chairman of the World Chewing Gum Championships, has been sending emails to Ferguson, on a daily...

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Alex Ferguson to appear in New Gum Advertisement

Funny story: Alex Ferguson to appear in New Gum Advertisement

Alex Ferguson, Manager of Manchester United, and World record holder for chewing a piece of chewing gum, is to appear in the new Gum Advertisement instead of the guy in it just now Barry Diamond. Anybody who has ever watched a Manchester United m...

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American Workers To Be Paid in Gum

Funny story: American Workers To Be Paid in Gum

WASHINGTON - From now on, all American workers will be paid in gum. The move to a gum-based economy will totally revolutionize employer/employee relations, result in MUCH fresher breath, and result in FAR fewer cavities. Department of Labor offic...

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Alex Ferguson invited to World Chewing Gum Championships

Funny story: Alex Ferguson invited to World Chewing Gum Championships

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson has been invited to the World Chewing Gum Championships in Guam. Mr I Chew has invited Ferguson to compete in the speed chewing category after watching him chew gum faster than he has ever seen anybody chew...

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Sir Alex Ferguson CBE Tribute Dinner - A three course meal of chewing gum!

Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson CBE Tribute Dinner - A three course meal of chewing gum!

Hilton, Park Lane, LONDON: On Tuesday, 17th November 2009, the LMA Hall of Fame 1,000 Club Dinner celebrated the success and longevity in the volatile world of professional football, those football managers who have managed 1,000 or more domestic le...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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