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Trump would send California Secessionist to Gitmo

Following the lead of the Spanish president in jailing Catalonia's secessionist instigators, President Donald J. Trump tweeted this morning that he would prosecute Marcus Evans and other "secessionist agitators" if they continue to promote "Calexit,"...

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Guantánamo Detainee Refuses Offer of Release After 14 Years in Prison and Tosses Conical Hat in the Ring

Funny story: Guantánamo Detainee Refuses Offer of Release After 14 Years in Prison and Tosses Conical Hat in the Ring

WASHINGTON - Three Guantánamo detainees were slated to leave the American prison in Cuba this week after 14 years in captivity, but early Wednesday morning, only two were willing to board the plane. The third - Mohammed Ali Abdullah Bwazir of Yemen -...

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Trump Confuses "Guantanamo" With "Guacamole" - Blames Mexicans for Torture

Funny story: Trump Confuses "Guantanamo" With "Guacamole" - Blames Mexicans for Torture

Donald Trump this morning blamed Mexicans for any torture that occurred at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, saying that "since Mexicans brought that nasty green guantanamo dip with them when they illegally crossed the border into Cuba, they've been force-feedin...

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$5m reward for capture of ex-Gitmo con freed on Bush's ordures

Funny story: $5m reward for capture of ex-Gitmo con freed on Bush's ordures

Washington DC - A former Guantanamo Bay detainee named as Ibrahim al-Rubbish is a wanted man again after posting a load of inflammatory pro-terror stuff on the Jihadi Garbage-U-Like.con webshite. Pentagon loss adjusters named the walking Al Qaeda...

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US officials will demonstrate advanced interrogation techniques "not all that bad"

Announced today, Mr. Obama and Mr. Brennan (head of the CIA) will participate in experiments to show Senator Diane Feinstein's objections are "over-amped." Spokespersons maintain US advanced interrogation techniques are "not all that bad" and may...

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Bargain Basement Prices: One US Private For Five Taliban Generals

Funny story: Bargain Basement Prices: One US Private For Five Taliban Generals

President Obama has done it again. He refers to it as: "No soldier left behind." In reality, the prisoner of war exchange was more like a bargain basement sale: five for one. Obana was also interested in closing Guantanamo. Apparently one US priv...

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President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades

Washington, D.C. - Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner. Over the we...

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Obama-Approved Type Torture of Prisoners Producing Better Results

Funny story: Obama-Approved Type Torture of Prisoners Producing Better Results

Long, long, long playing records of Leon Redbone and Yanni Week has brought more results from the prisoners at Guantánamo than all the water boarding combined, say guards at the prisoner facilities. "In Yoko Ono Week alone we found the headquarte...

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Nicky Minaj recruited for psychological warfare

Funny story: Nicky Minaj recruited for psychological warfare

Psychological warfare has been around for hundreds of years but it really took off in the second World War. During Vietnam, it was used to an even greater effect and cutting edge techniques were developed to assist the war fighting effort. Fast fo...

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Kristen Stewart Shits Pants on Meeting Robert Redford?

Funny story: Kristen Stewart Shits Pants on Meeting Robert Redford?

After the premiere of Camp X-Ray last week, director Peter Sattler and the cast members Kristen Stewart, Peyman Moaadi and Lane Garrison stopped by a whole group of us to talk about the drama which is about a Guantanamo Bay prison guard. The cast...

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The Unforeseen Horrors That Turned Obama's Hair Grey

Funny story: The Unforeseen Horrors That Turned Obama's Hair Grey

There are many factors within the fray, that have turned our Presidents hair to grey. Pundits, done-thats and patriots galore seek to sabotage him evermore. These are the things that have turned our fearless leader's head from black to grey in only five short years: Having Military Generals whisper to him that 'they would do a Kennedy' on him if he so much as tried to close Guantanamo Ba...

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Two Captured Terrorists Spill The Beans On The Al Qaeda Organization

Funny story: Two Captured Terrorists Spill The Beans On The Al Qaeda Organization

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FBI has stated that the two Al Qaeda terrorists who were captured in Paducah, Kentucky two weeks ago have offered up a wealth of information on the Al Qaeda organization. An FBI agent who did not want his name revealed state...

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Sharper Minds In Elders Generated By Military Video Games

Funny story: Sharper Minds In Elders Generated By Military Video Games

Recent research shows that short- term memory and long term focus in older adults can be enhanced by participation in military video games involving blood and slaughter. Killing people in the videos must be accomplished in the space of two or three...

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President Obama May Be Sending Chris Brown To Gitmo

Funny story: President Obama May Be Sending Chris Brown To Gitmo

WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just informed the news media that hip hop rap artist Chris Brown, who seems to have become the black, male version of Lindsay Lohan, may find himself in some deep do, as they say down in t...

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Overweight Guantanamo Prisoner Back at Guantanamo!

Funny story: Overweight Guantanamo Prisoner Back at Guantanamo!

After being released from custody recently, a former Guantanamo prisoner is back after the once 420-pound Tarek El-Sawah was rearrested after his weight got below 275. "This is a total farce", stated a liar...lawyer...for the suspected criminal. "...

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Eric Holder Threatens Park Trespassers with Guantanamo Imprisonment

Funny story: Eric Holder Threatens Park Trespassers with Guantanamo Imprisonment

WASHINGTON DC - Now that the Obama Administration has declared all Federal Land and Coastal Waters as off-limits to Americans, the Department of Justice [sic] is making it clear that President Obama will get $3.5 TRILLION to spend -- Unconditionally...

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Guantanamo Guards Taunt Prisoners with Music from Annie

Funny story: Guantanamo Guards Taunt Prisoners with Music from Annie

CUBA - Prisoners at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp are entering day 4 of a hunger strike protesting what they refer to as musical torture in violation of Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions. The prisoners have announced that they will not eat...

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Obama rudely heckled with facts, intellectual consistency

Funny story: Obama rudely heckled with facts, intellectual consistency

WASHINGTON, D.C.--While giving a speech on the War on Terror Thursday, President Obama was rudely interrupted by a barrage of factual statements and ethical standards by a member of leftist activist group Code Pink. "Asking [Obama] why the 86...

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