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Funny satire stories about Groundhog Day

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Hillary Groundhog Day Proclaimed

Funny story: Hillary Groundhog Day Proclaimed

Now that Hillary Clinton is back in the news with a vengeance, promoting her new book "What Happened", it's obvious to everyone what Hillary has been doing for the last year: Reliving Wednesday, November 9, 2016, over and over again. Just like "Groun...

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Groundhog predicts four more years of lunacy

Funny story: Groundhog predicts four more years of lunacy

It is the yearly event that shines the spotlight on small town America and all its homely, simplistic, racist ways. Today is Groundhog Day, a yearly festival where a furry mammal gives a random prediction on the future, like a rodent Nostradamus.

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Citizens of Punxsutawney file class action suit against Bill Murray

Funny story: Citizens of Punxsutawney file class action suit against Bill Murray

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. - After years of appeals to public government and no tangible results to show for it, residents of Punxsutawney have filed a class action lawsuit against actor Bill Murray for his involvement in the film "Groundhog Day" and the resu...

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Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks of Climate Change

Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks of Climate Change

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA - The world famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, made his annual appearance today, kind of saw his shadow, and proclaimed to America that there will be six more weeks of climate change. We spoke to Phil about his celebrity status and the pressure of accurately predicting the weather to hundreds of millions each year: Good morning, Phil. How's it going? "Oh hey, welcome to my...

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Boston Celtics: Groundhogs and Underdogs

In Groundhog Day, as Bill Murray learned in the classic film, every day you face the same problem. That vile little rodent may be tormenting the Boston Celtics too. Only now he plays for the Miami Heat. Nowadays every morning they awake, the Ce...

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Punxsutawney Phil's Proven Power to Portend Powers Profits for a Plethora of Companies

Punxsutawney Phil - If he sees his shadow, 60 days more of winter. If no shadow, say good-bye to winter soon! In the United States, February 2 is GROUNDHOG DAY. For those not familiar with it, Groundhog Day involves the long-standing tradition o...

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Groundhogs Seek New Careers

Funny story: Groundhogs Seek New Careers

They've just about had it, with looking for their shadows. "And it's a once-a-year gig," complained a groundhog who wishes to remain anonymous. "What are we supposed to do for the other 364 days of the year?" An informal survey revealed a variety of career paths now followed by the industrious rodents. One groundhog who has recently signed a contract with a famous weight-loss chain, had t...

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Meteorologist Has Epiphany: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Groundhogs

Funny story: Meteorologist Has Epiphany: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Groundhogs

Unlike most meteorologists in the United States this morning who couldn't wait to tell their viewing audiences that groundhogs have predicted spring would be coming early this year, Pittsburgh Meteorologist, Brian Storm went in a completely different...

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Punxsutawney Phil Shot By "Shotgun" Sarah Palin

Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil Shot By "Shotgun" Sarah Palin

GOBBLER'S KNOB, Pennsylvania - The world's most famous weather predicting varmint has gone to that groundhog hole in the sky. Punxsutawney Phil, 121, had just barely poked his sleepy old head out of his hole on Groundhog Day when a shotgun blast r...

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Punxsutawney Phil Spotted Working At Pennsylvania Wal-Mart

Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil Spotted Working At Pennsylvania Wal-Mart

Punxsutawney, PA - In a sign of the times, Punxsutawny Phil has been laid off due to budget cuts, and will miss this year's Groundhog Day festivities for the first time in over 40 years. Last month, in an attempt to reduce the city's budget defici...

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Punxsutawney Phil Emerges From His Hole And Is Quickly Captured

Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil Emerges From His Hole And Is Quickly Captured

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pennsylvania - Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog came out of his hole, saw his shadow and got back in his hole, or rather he tried to get back in but he failed. It seems that there were two residents who live nearby who were able to ca...

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Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil Furious that Animal Rights Group wants to Outsource his Job

Funny story: Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil Furious that Animal Rights Group wants to Outsource his Job

"Replace me with a robot at Groundhog Day events? Don't be ridiculous!" Phil screamed today when he opened the newspaper and read the proposal by animal rights activists. "Who do those characters think they are? Efficiency experts who can push their...

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Enraged Mob of Frozen Americans Kill Groundhog After Unfavorable Prediction

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. -- According to the 2010 Farmers' Almanac, this winter will see rough and frigid conditions where temperatures will average below normal for about three-quarters of the nation. Significant snowfalls are also forecast for parts of...

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Animal Rights Groups Demand Robotic Ground Hog, Easter Bunny!

Funny story: Animal Rights Groups Demand Robotic Ground Hog, Easter Bunny!

An animal rights group is demanding that no more live animals be used in Holiday celebrations. They say it is cruel to make a spectacle of a basically peaceful animal. But Bill Murray, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog C...

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On Groundhog Day, Nancy Pelosi Removes Head From Ass, But Puts It Back In

Funny story: On Groundhog Day, Nancy Pelosi Removes Head From Ass, But Puts It Back In

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi celebrated Groundhog Day by removing her head from her ass. After wiping the feces from her eyes and looking around, however, she put it right back in. Spokesman Muffy Muncher said that "Nancy saw her shadow, which...

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Spoof Writer to Star in 'Groundhog Day' Remake

Funny story: Spoof Writer to Star in 'Groundhog Day' Remake

HOLLYWOOD, CA - A spoof writer so far only known by his screen name, Vow of Obstinance, has been cast by The San Francisco Onion to fill a role once played to perfection by Bill Murray. In this computer-screen, spoofed adaptation, Vow of Obstinanc...

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Punxsutawney Phil and Long Island Chuck in historic meeting

Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil and Long Island Chuck in historic meeting

Long Island Chuck and Punxsutawney Phil have each been charged with assaulting the other in what has been described by authorities as a "beef" over who is more credible in predicting the amount of time until spring returns. Both famous groundhogs wer...

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Punxsutawney Phill assassinated

Funny story: Punxsutawney Phill assassinated

Heart breaking news today out of Pennsylvania where police arrested a group of hunters for shooting Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog whose shadow made him famous because of his ability to predict the length of time until spring came. Phil saw his sha...

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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