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Funny satire stories about Groundhog Day

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Funny story: Groundhogs Seek New Careers

Groundhogs Seek New Careers

They've just about had it, with looking for their shadows. "And it's a once-a-year gig," complained a groundhog who wishes to remain anonymous. "What are we supposed to do for the other 364 days of the year?" An informal survey revealed a variety of career paths now followed by the industrious rodents. One groundhog who has recently signed a contract with a famous weight-loss chain, had t...
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Funny story: Meteorologist Has Epiphany: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Groundhogs

Meteorologist Has Epiphany: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Groundhogs

Unlike most meteorologists in the United States this morning who couldn't wait to tell their viewing audiences that groundhogs have predicted spring would be coming early this year, Pittsburgh Meteorologist, Brian Storm went in a completely different...
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Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil Shot By "Shotgun" Sarah Palin

Punxsutawney Phil Shot By "Shotgun" Sarah Palin

GOBBLER'S KNOB, Pennsylvania - The world's most famous weather predicting varmint has gone to that groundhog hole in the sky. Punxsutawney Phil, 121, had just barely poked his sleepy old head out of his hole on Groundhog Day when a shotgun blast r...
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Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil Spotted Working At Pennsylvania Wal-Mart

Punxsutawney Phil Spotted Working At Pennsylvania Wal-Mart

Punxsutawney, PA - In a sign of the times, Punxsutawny Phil has been laid off due to budget cuts, and will miss this year's Groundhog Day festivities for the first time in over 40 years. Last month, in an attempt to reduce the city's budget defici...
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Funny story: Crazed, Rabid Groundhog Predicts Six More MONTHS Of Winter

Crazed, Rabid Groundhog Predicts Six More MONTHS Of Winter

Valley Forge, PA - A rabid groundhog named Philadelphia Phil has seen his shadow, and cursed the United States with six more months of Winter. The buck-toothed furry critter crawled out of its burrow early this morning and gave everyone the bad news...
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Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil Emerges From His Hole And Is Quickly Captured

Punxsutawney Phil Emerges From His Hole And Is Quickly Captured

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pennsylvania - Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog came out of his hole, saw his shadow and got back in his hole, or rather he tried to get back in but he failed. It seems that there were two residents who live nearby who were able to ca...
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Funny story: Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil Furious that Animal Rights Group wants to Outsource his Job

Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil Furious that Animal Rights Group wants to Outsource his Job

"Replace me with a robot at Groundhog Day events? Don't be ridiculous!" Phil screamed today when he opened the newspaper and read the proposal by animal rights activists. "Who do those characters think they are? Efficiency experts who can push their...
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Funny story: Enraged Mob of Frozen Americans Kill Groundhog After Unfavorable Prediction

Enraged Mob of Frozen Americans Kill Groundhog After Unfavorable Prediction

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. -- According to the 2010 Farmers' Almanac, this winter will see rough and frigid conditions where temperatures will average below normal for about three-quarters of the nation. Significant snowfalls are also forecast for parts of...
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Funny story: Animal Rights Groups Demand Robotic Ground Hog, Easter Bunny!

Animal Rights Groups Demand Robotic Ground Hog, Easter Bunny!

An animal rights group is demanding that no more live animals be used in Holiday celebrations. They say it is cruel to make a spectacle of a basically peaceful animal. But Bill Murray, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog C...
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Funny story: On Groundhog Day, Nancy Pelosi Removes Head From Ass, But Puts It Back In

On Groundhog Day, Nancy Pelosi Removes Head From Ass, But Puts It Back In

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi celebrated Groundhog Day by removing her head from her ass. After wiping the feces from her eyes and looking around, however, she put it right back in. Spokesman Muffy Muncher said that "Nancy saw her shadow, which...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer to Star in 'Groundhog Day' Remake

Spoof Writer to Star in 'Groundhog Day' Remake

HOLLYWOOD, CA - A spoof writer so far only known by his screen name, Vow of Obstinance, has been cast by The San Francisco Onion to fill a role once played to perfection by Bill Murray. In this computer-screen, spoofed adaptation, Vow of Obstinanc...
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Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil and Long Island Chuck in historic meeting

Punxsutawney Phil and Long Island Chuck in historic meeting

Long Island Chuck and Punxsutawney Phil have each been charged with assaulting the other in what has been described by authorities as a "beef" over who is more credible in predicting the amount of time until spring returns. Both famous groundhogs wer...
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Funny story: Punxsutawney Phill assassinated

Punxsutawney Phill assassinated

Heart breaking news today out of Pennsylvania where police arrested a group of hunters for shooting Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog whose shadow made him famous because of his ability to predict the length of time until spring came. Phil saw his sha...
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Funny story: CERN LHC particle accelerator created a time warp! Welcome to Groundhog Day!

CERN LHC particle accelerator created a time warp! Welcome to Groundhog Day!

Cambridge, Massachusetts - Like Yogi Berra once said, "It's Déjà vu all over again." If you woke up this morning with a sinking feeling deep down in your gut that everything you have done today seems strangely familiar, like you have already done it...
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Funny story: Punxsutawney Phil predicts wet conditions

Punxsutawney Phil predicts wet conditions

While Groundhog Day has evolved into a fun diversion for news-starved media on a typically blah February 1, the real significance of Punxsutawney Phil's yearly appearance in the limelight is for old men who depend on the fat rodent to tell them w...
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Funny story: Groundhog Day

Groundhog Day

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA - This morning Punxsutawney Phil came out of his burrow on Gobbler's Hill saw his shadow,indicating six more weeks of winter weather. This tradition of Candlemas day came from the British Isles to Pennsylvania in 1841 and is still observed throughout the world as the day's other headlines attest.
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Funny story: Pakistan ex-Prime Minister is repeating the same day over and over again like "Groundhog Day"

Pakistan ex-Prime Minister is repeating the same day over and over again like "Groundhog Day"

The former Prime Minister of Pakistan Nawaz Sharif claims he is repeating the same day over and over again in an endless loop.
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Funny story: Groundhog Day...It Could Be Nearer Than You Think

Groundhog Day...It Could Be Nearer Than You Think

Forget Christmas and put New Year on the back burner because if bonkers Brussels bureaucrats have their way then Europe will soon be stuck permanently in July.
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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