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Funny satire stories about Graduation

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Valedictorian Tells Graduates They’re All Doomed

Funny story: Valedictorian Tells Graduates They’re All Doomed

At the Grover Washington Jr. high school graduation ceremony, the valedictorian was brutally honest with her classmates, telling them how the deck is stacked against them and they're doomed. “Let’s not get too carried away here,” Alicia McBride, t...

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New college grads can roll their student loan debt into a 30-year fixed mortgage - WHAT A DEAL!!!

Funny story: New college grads can roll their student loan debt into a 30-year fixed mortgage - WHAT A DEAL!!!

So you just graduated from that pricey and prestigious liberal arts college and you and your sweetie owe an astronomical conglomeration of more than $125,000 in student loans. Neither of you have job prospects yet, but they're coming, baby, they're c...

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Recent Grad Brimming With Hope

Funny story: Recent Grad Brimming With Hope

New York, NY - Ignoring both the turbulent state of the American economy and gentle nudging from her parents to apply for barista jobs, recent university graduate Sophie Hartman was reportedly still optimistic about finding an editorial internship i...

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Noing How To Spel "Gradjewayshun" Not No Longur Rekwiremint To Gradjewat From High Skool

Funny story: Noing How To Spel "Gradjewayshun" Not No Longur Rekwiremint To Gradjewat From High Skool

Sacrimento, CA - With noo roolzs from the Calafornyuh state Bord of Educashun, noing how to spell "gradjewashun" isn't no longer a rekwiremunt to be able to grajewate from high scool. You dont haff to no how to spel no for syllbul wordz to gradjewate...

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University Graduates Happy University Is Over So They Can Start Fetching Coffee

Funny story: University Graduates Happy University Is Over So They Can Start Fetching Coffee

After 3 years of intense study, 3,400 hours of revision and £26,000 of punishing debt, university graduates can now pat themselves on the back for making it this far in their mediocre lives. Brian Middleton spent 3 years at Warwick University stu...

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US Department of Education Eliminates High School Graduation Requirements

Funny story: US Department of Education Eliminates High School Graduation Requirements

WASHINGTON, DC - The US Department of Education Secretary, Arne Duncan, announced today that Graduation requirements for US high school students would be eliminated to increase the graduation rate. Four new exams that will be required for graduati...

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IBM Computer Watson Announces He's Available for College Commencement Speeches

Funny story: IBM Computer Watson Announces He's Available for College Commencement Speeches

Fresh from his victory on the game show "Jeopardy," he told the world at a press conference yesterday that he's ready for his next challenge: stepping up to the podium to give commencement speeches. So far, there are no invitations. But Watson...

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Multiple Deaths Mar College Graduation

Funny story: Multiple Deaths Mar College Graduation

The entire graduation student population was nearly lost when fifty-three were killed and six injured during the commencement ceremonies at an over-seas junior college. The graduation class had just finished the ritual of throwing up their caps, when...

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Heckler Academy Announces First Graduating Class

Funny story: Heckler Academy Announces First Graduating Class

The first group of professionally trained and certified hecklers is about to embark on their journey into the political, sports, and entertainment world. Led by professor Buster Bawlz, PhD, the class of 132 men and women are "ready for their first...

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Graduation Day

Funny story: Graduation Day

Eagle Eyed Security Guard Mohammed Jones was in attendence yesterday at the Jones Academy of the Vigilant Graduation Commencement.

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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