Dallas, Texas -- Former Vice President Dick Cheney missed most of the ceremonies dedicating the George W. Bush Library here. Federal Library Enforcement Agency (FLEA) officers pulled him out of the crowd to issue over two dozen citations for overdue...
New York City mayor Ed Koch announced Thursday that the city will be hosting a race of space aliens that have landed in New York City's Central Park.
Koch returned from the dead as a zombie when the aliens discarded green toilet water in the grav...
Washington, DC -- Under growing criticism for using remote-controlled aircraft to hunt down and kill suspected terrorists, the Defense Department has transferred its top-secret aerial assassination program to the Mafia.
"Anybody got any complaints...
New York - With less than a year left on his tainted third term, Mayor Michael Bloomberg is personally selecting a successor -- auditioning puppet candidates for the mayoral elections that will be held this fall.
The lineup of possibilities is fai...
Welfare group Kids'R'Us says kids will suffer as parents struggle with cats.
Record numbers of children are likely to be taken away from their families this year as parents try to fight off massive public sector cats.
Parents in households wher...
Washington DC - Forget about trillion dollar coins. A request by President Obama for new ways to pay off the national debt has prompted an avalanche of better scams and more sophisticated innovations designed to rescue America from bankruptcy.
In...
Washington DC - Americans may soon be using their smart phones to force the Federal government to be more sensitive to their needs and opinions.
The new, higher level of democracy comes thanks to a recently introduced iPhone app, called Voter A...
A study commissioned by UN human rights commissioner has determined that Bashers al-Assad no longer has a kingdom to rule over after wiping out 60,000 innocent human beings. Al-Assad has created a legacy of anguish and sadness that will haunt his dec...
After three years of phone hacking, hiding in playground shrubbery and hundreds of inconclusive photographs, today we are finally interviewing very Frank. He has kindly agreed to talk to us on the proviso that he can stuff his face choc-full of Turkish delights throughout the entirety of the interview. At certain points of the interview we may have to adjust the height, weight and circumference of...
New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg was released from Bellevue Hospital today after being treated for what's being called "a firearm mishap." It appears that the mayor mistook a pistol for a penis and discharged the gun into his cranium.
Who will...
David Cameron has given his backing to a new Road-Building scheme to be financed by Road Toll fees. This is part of the Coalitions
refreshed programme for government.
A feasibility study produced by the DfT (Department for Transport) is being formulated as announced by Chancellor George Osborne in his December Statement.
Our Political reporter Bartholomew Utterswaithe, just back from his on...
The Japan's surprise military strike on Pearl Harbor, December 7, 1941, killed 2,402 and wounded 1,282 Americans. Very close to 9/11, nah?
Some believe US President FDR was aware of the imminent attack, but he ordered the US fleet to move from the West Coast to the unsafe Pearl Harbor. Admiral Richardson advised FDR not to issue the order, but FDR removed the bad admiral and replaced him by Ad...
The Government have, this morning, unveiled plans to raise billions of pounds to support the fragile economy. It was widely expected that they were to introduce an increase in VAT, but in a shock, and massively controversial, move, Government spokesp...
MP David Crausby, 66, claims £1,823-a-month rent to live in London. He has demanded £33,000 in two years.
Bolton's MP earns £65,738, and paid £51,620 off his mortgage through the old MPs expenses system.
His Westminster flat cost him £285,000 i...
Stereotypical Tory and Chief pussy whipped Andrew Mitchell has eventually bowed to plebeian pressure and fallen on his Caesarian sword.
The lamest of lame ducks was clinging on to his position like an alcoholic's giro after most definitely brandi...
Monday 3rd September
Topic: Shooting - Crime - Justice
Headline "Real victim is the man who shot at burglars: MP says farmhouse couple should not be charged"
Source: The Mirror
Extract: The businessman arrested for allegedly shooting suspected burglars at his farmhouse is the real victim of the crime, his MP said yesterday.
Alan Duncan believes Andy Ferrie, 35, and wife Tracey, 43 - who is...
Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced the new members of his cabinet. Out go the old, and in come the, er, old, into jobs they know nothing about, mainly to afford them a substantial increase in salary and pension contributions between now...
Perhaps the biggest surprise of the Prime Minister's Cabinet reshuffle on Tuesday was the replacement of veteran MP Ken Clarke with ruthless law enforcer Judge Dredd.
Sources close to David Cameron say Clarke's approach to the Justice Minister rol...