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Funny story: God's Office

God's Office

God's Office (1-800-GR8 1) Cherubic voices singing "We are the World," followed by . . . You have reached the offices of God. Para continuar en Espanol, oprimes dos. Our office hours are from 0000 to infinity, Zulu time. After you hear the music of the spheres, please leave your message. No need to leave your name or contact information. We know it. Before you leave your message, please...
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Funny story: God save the blond

God save the blond

Warfare has been man's prime idiocy ever since he came to existence. He fought for food, water and pasture; now, fights for petroleum, minerals and markets. Religions have provided esprit de corps to achieve these goals. However, we read in literature, that many men have died in pursuit of sex. Therefore, we may add sex as an impulse to engage in fighting. Nevertheless, nature or whatever uses...
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Funny story: Texas to make Blasphemy a Capital Offense

Texas to make Blasphemy a Capital Offense

AUSTIN (Kitteh Network News) After a weekend full of harsh criticism on the internet for advising state employees to ignore the Supreme Court ruling in favor of marriage equality, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton wasted no time in...
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Funny story: Pope makes plea to save the planet by resigning!

Pope makes plea to save the planet by resigning!

Pope Francis has seen the light and decided to be the first one who puts his mouth where his money is or is it the other way round? He has offered to resign and take a huge step to make the world a better place! The Vatican have offered him 2 mill...
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Funny story: Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down.

Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam's giant planet computer in Hitchhik...
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Funny story: God has resigned

God has resigned

In a shock announcement this morning God announced his resignation over the outcome of the UK General Election in which David Cameron was reelected with an overall majority. An angel appeared in our offices this morning with the announcement, whe...
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Funny story: Papyrus of Ezekiel's Last Prophecy Discovered

Papyrus of Ezekiel's Last Prophecy Discovered

Last year, archaeologists digging in Iraq near Al Kifi discovered what they claimed was the tomb of the Hebrew Prophet Ezekiel. World media made light of the find because it had always been believed that the great prophet was buried in England at Wes...
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Funny story: God admits that dinosaur bones are just a "geological hoax" He pulled on humanity

God admits that dinosaur bones are just a "geological hoax" He pulled on humanity

In a stunning announcement, God, the creator of all things, admitted that dinosaur bones are really just "gag props" that he created in the soil for us to find. "Sorry if I just spoiled your childhood" God said with a chuckle. Asked why he...
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Funny story: God Must be Hispanic If he Named His Only Son Jesus

God Must be Hispanic If he Named His Only Son Jesus

Wow - I just realized that God has to be Hispanic! I mean - otherwise he would have named his only kid God Junior or at least some common name of those times- like Joshua or Peter or Moishe -any thing but Jesus(unless he was Hispanic). What made me think of this was I was watching the Los Angeles marathon last week and at least fifty percent of the people had to be Hispanic -and at least fif...
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Funny story: Hadron Collider Discovers God

Hadron Collider Discovers God

The scene was reminiscent of a European Cup soccer final as hundreds of scientists leapt into the air screaming and shouting and hugging each other as sheaves of paper drifted through the air. It all happened at their research centre in Geneva at...
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Funny story: Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

The Vatican -- The Roman Catholic Church has given up Lent. In an unprecedented financial maneuver, Pope Francis has turned over the 40 day, 40 night period of atonement to the Church of Scamatology. The sale price was $69 billion. That buys the...
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Funny story: NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA experts, have concluded that this universe was created by advanced life forms that live outside of the universe. "We have found conclusive evidence of their existence," said Ellen Stofan, NASA chief scientist. While mission control was co...
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Funny story: Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

The Vatican well known for it's lofty metaphysical discussions about the meaning of life like whether children will go to hell for masturbating and if women's orgasm are sinful and important philosophical quandaries like that - has now turned to deep...
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Funny story: God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

Last night, the whole of Europe was brought to a standstill when, exactly at midnight, a white-haired, bearded figure appeared on every television set on the continent. Crowds poured out of pubs and restaurants, many of them hysterical; public transport came to a halt as millions gathered in city squares and churches. The Pope appealed for calm; but nobody was listening to him. The followi...
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Funny story: God Resigns, Effective Midnight--Calls Humanity 'The Edsel Ford of Creation'

God Resigns, Effective Midnight--Calls Humanity 'The Edsel Ford of Creation'

Jerusalem-God resigned today, citing the appalling murders, rapes and tortures carried out everywhere in His Holy Name. "I just can't take it anymore," the Deity said, speaking from a conveniently burning bush near the Golden Dome in Jerusalem. "...
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Funny story: Religion Drives Man Crazy

Religion Drives Man Crazy

On the evidence of the witness who inhabited the flat beneath the defendant's the judge had no hesitation but to refer the defendant for psychiatric evaluation. The charges of malicious damage to property and disturbing the peace were dropped on compassionate grounds. The judge had reached the decision after questioning the witness thoroughly and allowing his tape recording of the events leadi...
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Funny story: God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

Heavensgate - Every morning just after sunrise, says Christopher Hitchins, he and the entire heavenly host gather with their harps and neatly folded wings at the edge of a convenient cloud. Then as they drink their coffee and enjoy the air, they laug...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Will Sponsor Space Program to reach God

Ted Cruz Will Sponsor Space Program to reach God

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was appointed the chair of the Senate subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness last week - which means he will be in charge of overseeing space agency NASA in Congress. He announced; "As the new head of The Commit...
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Breaking News...

Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor

Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria.
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