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Funny story: NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA discovers the "Gods of Creation"

NASA experts, have concluded that this universe was created by advanced life forms that live outside of the universe. "We have found conclusive evidence of their existence," said Ellen Stofan, NASA chief scientist. While mission control, was c...
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Funny story: Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

The Vatican well known for it's lofty metaphysical discussions about the meaning of life like whether children will go to hell for masturbating and if women's orgasm are sinful and important philosophical quandaries like that - has now turned to deep...
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Funny story: God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

Last night, the whole of Europe was brought to a standstill when, exactly at midnight, a white-haired, bearded figure appeared on every television set on the continent. Crowds poured out of pubs and restaurants, many of them hysterical; public transport came to a halt as millions gathered in city squares and churches. The Pope appealed for calm; but nobody was listening to him. The followi...
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Funny story: God Resigns, Effective Midnight--Calls Humanity 'The Edsel Ford of Creation'

God Resigns, Effective Midnight--Calls Humanity 'The Edsel Ford of Creation'

Jerusalem-God resigned today, citing the appalling murders, rapes and tortures carried out everywhere in His Holy Name. "I just can't take it anymore," the Deity said, speaking from a conveniently burning bush near the Golden Dome in Jerusalem. "...
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Funny story: Religion Drives Man Crazy

Religion Drives Man Crazy

On the evidence of the witness who inhabited the flat beneath the defendant's the judge had no hesitation but to refer the defendant for psychiatric evaluation. The charges of malicious damage to property and disturbing the peace were dropped on compassionate grounds. The judge had reached the decision after questioning the witness thoroughly and allowing his tape recording of the events leadi...
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Funny story: God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

Heavensgate - Every morning just after sunrise, says Christopher Hitchins, he and the entire heavenly host gather with their harps and neatly folded wings at the edge of a convenient cloud. Then as they drink their coffee and enjoy the air, they laug...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Will Sponsor Space Program to reach God

Ted Cruz Will Sponsor Space Program to reach God

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was appointed the chair of the Senate subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness last week - which means he will be in charge of overseeing space agency NASA in Congress. He announced; "As the new head of The Commit...
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Funny story: Conversation between an Evangelical Bible Belting Schmuck and a Neuroscientist

Conversation between an Evangelical Bible Belting Schmuck and a Neuroscientist

Idiot: "God created the brain in seven days y'all!" Neuroscientist: "Y'all are a schmuck!" 1. The keys to modern biology were not delivered by genome sequencing, but by a series of prior conceptual advances (Darwin, Mendel, Fisher, Morgan, Crick etc). 2. Tracing wires in 3 dimensions to learn how neurons are connected is overkill: like genome sequencing by X-ray crystallography. Almost al...
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Funny story: Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Catholics around the world have been screaming "blasphemy" all day after it was revealed that the Vatican will reboot the Bible next year and write a new "more modern" version if it for release in the summertime. The Vatican made the decision du...
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Funny story: U.S. Congress Is Admired Throughout The World

U.S. Congress Is Admired Throughout The World

As is well known, the U.S. Congress represents the wisdom of the whole nation. The two houses together are an august, majestic body admired throughout the world. Perhaps symbolic of the will of millions of Americans is the re-election of GOP Ok...
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Funny story: Republicans Have A Saul-like Epiphany The Day After Winning The Mid-term Elections.

Republicans Have A Saul-like Epiphany The Day After Winning The Mid-term Elections.

The day after winning a vital mid-term election that would give them a much stronger control of the U.S. Government, the Republican Party has apparently experienced an epiphany on the majesty of that which affected Saul on his Biblical quest to perse...
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Funny story: Dinosaurs were thick and deserved extinction

Dinosaurs were thick and deserved extinction

Scientists at UCLA claim to have solved the age old riddle of what became of our predecessors, the dinosaurs. In a ten year, $795 billion study, biologists, archaeologists and zoologists believe they have discovered the fate of the former lords of th...
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Funny story: Southern Baptists Expel Church For Not Hating Gays

Southern Baptists Expel Church For Not Hating Gays

The Southern Baptist Convention voted unanimously to expel a California church that was entirely too friendly to homosexuals. The New Heart Community Church in La Mirada, California, was "disfellowed" by the Executive Committee which held that...
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Funny story: Obama's Top Scientist Has Psychotic Fit

Obama's Top Scientist Has Psychotic Fit

At a recent hearing by the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology, White House Science Director, John Holdren, spoke in front of the committee to discuss President Obama's initiative to reduce carbon emissions. Despite 99% of the world's...
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Funny story: Head Of ISIS Accidentally Beheaded

Head Of ISIS Accidentally Beheaded

Ibrahim ibn Awwad ibn Ibrahim ibn Ali ibn Muhammad al-Badri al-Samarrai, more commonly known by his nom de guerre Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, or BIll, is the Caliph of the self-proclaimed Islamic State-previously the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (...
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Funny story: Open Letter to GOD

Open Letter to GOD

Dea GOD, I know (LOL) I may have got you at a bad time.... but I must ask you, YOUR DIVINITY, if you don't mind. (1) Why do you not destroy the few bankers and their diabolical debt game so that we humans can allow ourselves and our children to enjoy life as you intended? We can accept that evil to a certain degree may be necessary to run Your Universe but...so much of it given to so few...
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Funny story: God and Accidents

God and Accidents

Hoff here. This a rant and I know I am going to piss some, maybe a lot, people off. But that's ok, because this is a rant. That means I can say anything I want, so sit down, kick back and let your outrage wash over you. Earlier this year, in Kentucky, a 5-year-old boy shot and killed his 2-year-old sister with the .22 rifle he got for HIS(!) birthday. Nothing says "I love you" like a rifle,...
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Funny story: Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Commenting on the accidental murder of a nine-year-old girl's assault weapons instructor on a gun range, because of her inability to control her Uzi submachine gun, and thus blowing part of his brains out, Wayne La Pisse of the "Owning Guns Is A God-...
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Obama signs bill to fund Homeland Insecurity

Capitol Hill braces itself for a massive FBI bust of Russian agents who have infiltrated Wall Street, Big Oil and the Krispy Kreme Co
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