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Funny story: Rock Veterans Procol Harum Insist That Beyonce's Hair Isn't Natural

Rock Veterans Procol Harum Insist That Beyonce's Hair Isn't Natural

Nobody really seems to have a clue what this is all about, but, an as yet undisclosed website has been gobbing off with words to the effect that Beyonce - who put thousands of music fans to sleep as she closed Glastonbury last weekend, doesn't appear...
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Funny story: 'He was my rock' says Cameron amid dead Tory 'cocaine claims'

'He was my rock' says Cameron amid dead Tory 'cocaine claims'

Oxon - Officials at Central Orifice are said to be 'cracking up' amid admittedly unsubstantiated reports that Christopher Shale 'had traces of the class-A drug on him'. The 56 year-old Tory appartchick (sic) vanished for some 20 hours before being...
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Funny story: Glastonbury - Police detain 137,000 people for questioning

Glastonbury - Police detain 137,000 people for questioning

A senior member of David Cameron's Tory constituency association has been found dead in a toilet at Glastonbury Festival, the police announced a curfew with immediate effect, no one is to leave Glastonbury. Of the 137,000 people attending the fest...
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Funny story: Glastonbury Portaloo suicide of David Cameron constituency chair

Glastonbury Portaloo suicide of David Cameron constituency chair

Glastonbury - It's a new twist on that all-too-familiar OMG! No Damn Loo Paper!! sinking feeling typical of outdoor gatherings. The discovery of West Oxfordshire Conservative Association chairman Christopher Shale's body in a music festival lavato...
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Funny story: U2 Rock Glastonbury... Phew!

U2 Rock Glastonbury... Phew!

Torrential rain failed to dampen the spirits of the Glastonbury crowds last night as they rocked out to headliners U2. And there was a huge communal sigh of relief as the world's biggest rock band successfully trawled through their 30-year back-ca...
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Funny story: Glastonbury Festival 2011 a Mudbath yet again

Glastonbury Festival 2011 a Mudbath yet again

Torrential rain greeted the first people to reach Worthy Farm. More than 130,000 people have already arrived on site at Worthy Farm, Pilton, and a further 7,000 are expected today. They face muddy conditions on the first day of Glastonbury and ha...
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Funny story: Glastonbury, it might rain, a bit.

Glastonbury, it might rain, a bit.

Glastonbury 2011: With mere hours to go until festival-goers descend on Worthy Farm to watch headline acts including Frank Sidebottom, Beyonce and The Wurzles, organisers warn fans to bring wellies, raincoats, inflatable dingies and distress flares.
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Funny story: Coldplay's Chris Martin Booked Beyonce For Glastonbury, Gwyneth furious!

Coldplay's Chris Martin Booked Beyonce For Glastonbury, Gwyneth furious!

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin is hiding down the pub since incurring the wrath of her indoors. Apparently the lovely Gwyneth, no honest, she is lovely, it's not her fault that she was named after a sheep, anyhoo, the lovely Gwyneth is in one hec...
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Funny story: The Wombles top Glastonbury because no one else decent wants to play there!

The Wombles top Glastonbury because no one else decent wants to play there!

The Wombles from Wimbledon are topping Glastonbury this year because most decent bands avoid the festival like avoiding the pest. Mike Batt (slightly Batty) the founder of the famous kiddies show and writer of many of their ancient, very pathetic...
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Funny story: Music Festival Disaster: Enquiry Results Finally Revealed

Music Festival Disaster: Enquiry Results Finally Revealed

The cause for the disaster at one of Britain's largest music festivals has finally been revealed. A sub-standard batch of tent pegs, dangerously combined with cheap imported Chinese tent poles, have been named as the 'most likely' cause for a huge...
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Funny story: Asteroid smites Holy Thorn of Glastonbury!

Asteroid smites Holy Thorn of Glastonbury!

Glastonbury, Wilts - (Apocalyptic Mess): Planted as a tiny cutting by Joseph of Arimathea circa 34AD the Holy Thorn of Wearyall Hill was destroyed by cosmic fire last night. Onlookers reported a giant space fireball streaking across the evening sk...
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Funny story: Glastonbury cancelled?

Glastonbury cancelled?

There will be no Glastonbury for 2012, it has been announced, and not just the festival, the whole area will be shut, as it is expected that all the hippies and music loving dope smokers will be heading to London to take part in the new sporting even...
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Funny story: Glastonbury 2012 down the toilet story is a Hoax

Glastonbury 2012 down the toilet story is a Hoax

The story that Glastonbury 2012 is to be cancelled due to lack of portaloo facilities, has tonight been exposed as a hoax. It is a mis-truth that is believed to have originated with Amy Winehouse, who thought it would be funny to spread the rumour t...
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Funny story: Glastonbury closes with the blind leading the blind!

Glastonbury closes with the blind leading the blind!

This years Glastonbury spectacle was rather a "damp squid" even though there wasn't any of the usual mudslides and heavenly outbursts although "Faithless" did manage to get the geriatric crowd rocking in their wheelchairs! Apart from them ancient...
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Funny story: James Corden for Glastonbury? Depends on Wednesday's Result.

James Corden for Glastonbury? Depends on Wednesday's Result.

Following the success of the unofficial World Cup song 'Shout for England', James Corden was all set to turn up as a surprise guest on Dizzee Rascal's Friday night Glastonbury set. But the appearance is under threat because of the possibility that E...
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Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson to offer 'P*ss into your tent' service at Glastonbury

Jeremy Clarkson to offer 'P*ss into your tent' service at Glastonbury

Having exhausted the number of people and ideas to shit on, the hound dog faced petrol head has just launched a new service for Glastonbury revellers. When the rain and mud has peaked, for a small fee, he will personally come along and piss in yo...
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Funny story: Glastonbury Hasn't Booked The Gorillaz After All

Glastonbury Hasn't Booked The Gorillaz After All

Glastonbury organiser Michael Eavis has made the biggest mistake of his career, not only on his last festival, but on the 50th anniversary. After being given the 'best problem in the world' of U2 pulling out from the festival, he was left with the...
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Funny story: U2 come clean over Glasto cancellation!

U2 come clean over Glasto cancellation!

Bono, also known as The Crow, or the prick with sunglasses has had to pull U2 for performing at Glastonbury's 150th anniversary for fears that the Irish rock band might be attacked by disgruntled fans. The band that has been releasing top ten shits s...
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