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Nickelback, S Club 7 and Jack Whitehall Announced as the 2015 Glastonbury Headliners

Funny story: Nickelback, S Club 7 and Jack Whitehall Announced as the 2015 Glastonbury Headliners

After months of speculation the line-up for the monumental annual music festival has been announced with the headliners of the prestigious Pyramid Stage being bland Canadian hard rock 4-piece Nickelback, irritating late 90s pop pipsqueaks S Club 7 an...

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Mortgage Approval boost for Cameron ahead of Conference

Funny story: Mortgage Approval boost for Cameron ahead of Conference

The number of new mortgages approved went up last week. The Conservatives have jumped on the news saying that the rise validates their plans to get the banks lending more. However most of the loans were for small short term deals which can be paid of...

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Rock Veterans Procol Harum Insist That Beyonce's Hair Isn't Natural

Funny story: Rock Veterans Procol Harum Insist That Beyonce's Hair Isn't Natural

Nobody really seems to have a clue what this is all about, but, an as yet undisclosed website has been gobbing off with words to the effect that Beyonce - who put thousands of music fans to sleep as she closed Glastonbury last weekend, doesn't appear...

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'He was my rock' says Cameron amid dead Tory 'cocaine claims'

Funny story: 'He was my rock' says Cameron amid dead Tory 'cocaine claims'

Oxon - Officials at Central Orifice are said to be 'cracking up' amid admittedly unsubstantiated reports that Christopher Shale 'had traces of the class-A drug on him'. The 56 year-old Tory appartchick (sic) vanished for some 20 hours before being...

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Glastonbury - Police detain 137,000 people for questioning

Funny story: Glastonbury - Police detain 137,000 people for questioning

A senior member of David Cameron's Tory constituency association has been found dead in a toilet at Glastonbury Festival, the police announced a curfew with immediate effect, no one is to leave Glastonbury. Of the 137,000 people attending the fest...

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Glastonbury Portaloo suicide of David Cameron constituency chair

Funny story: Glastonbury Portaloo suicide of David Cameron constituency chair

Glastonbury - It's a new twist on that all-too-familiar OMG! No Damn Loo Paper!! sinking feeling typical of outdoor gatherings. The discovery of West Oxfordshire Conservative Association chairman Christopher Shale's body in a music festival lavato...

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U2 Rock Glastonbury... Phew!

Funny story: U2 Rock Glastonbury... Phew!

Torrential rain failed to dampen the spirits of the Glastonbury crowds last night as they rocked out to headliners U2. And there was a huge communal sigh of relief as the world's biggest rock band successfully trawled through their 30-year back-ca...

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Glastonbury Festival 2011 a Mudbath yet again

Funny story: Glastonbury Festival 2011 a Mudbath yet again

Torrential rain greeted the first people to reach Worthy Farm. More than 130,000 people have already arrived on site at Worthy Farm, Pilton, and a further 7,000 are expected today. They face muddy conditions on the first day of Glastonbury and ha...

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Glastonbury, it might rain, a bit.

Funny story: Glastonbury, it might rain, a bit.

Glastonbury 2011: With mere hours to go until festival-goers descend on Worthy Farm to watch headline acts including Frank Sidebottom, Beyonce and The Wurzles, organisers warn fans to bring wellies, raincoats, inflatable dingies and distress flares.

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Coldplay's Chris Martin Booked Beyonce For Glastonbury, Gwyneth furious!

Funny story: Coldplay's Chris Martin Booked Beyonce For Glastonbury, Gwyneth furious!

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin is hiding down the pub since incurring the wrath of her indoors. Apparently the lovely Gwyneth, no honest, she is lovely, it's not her fault that she was named after a sheep, anyhoo, the lovely Gwyneth is in one hec...

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The Wombles top Glastonbury because no one else decent wants to play there!

The Wombles from Wimbledon are topping Glastonbury this year because most decent bands avoid the festival like avoiding the pest. Mike Batt (slightly Batty) the founder of the famous kiddies show and writer of many of their ancient, very pathetic...

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Music Festival Disaster: Enquiry Results Finally Revealed

Funny story: Music Festival Disaster: Enquiry Results Finally Revealed

The cause for the disaster at one of Britain's largest music festivals has finally been revealed. A sub-standard batch of tent pegs, dangerously combined with cheap imported Chinese tent poles, have been named as the 'most likely' cause for a huge...

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Asteroid smites Holy Thorn of Glastonbury!

Funny story: Asteroid smites Holy Thorn of Glastonbury!

Glastonbury, Wilts - (Apocalyptic Mess): Planted as a tiny cutting by Joseph of Arimathea circa 34AD the Holy Thorn of Wearyall Hill was destroyed by cosmic fire last night. Onlookers reported a giant space fireball streaking across the evening sk...

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Glastonbury cancelled?

Funny story: Glastonbury cancelled?

There will be no Glastonbury for 2012, it has been announced, and not just the festival, the whole area will be shut, as it is expected that all the hippies and music loving dope smokers will be heading to London to take part in the new sporting even...

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Glastonbury 2012 down the toilet story is a Hoax

Funny story: Glastonbury 2012 down the toilet story is a Hoax

The story that Glastonbury 2012 is to be cancelled due to lack of portaloo facilities, has tonight been exposed as a hoax. It is a mis-truth that is believed to have originated with Amy Winehouse, who thought it would be funny to spread the rumour t...

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Glastonbury closes with the blind leading the blind!

Funny story: Glastonbury closes with the blind leading the blind!

This years Glastonbury spectacle was rather a "damp squid" even though there wasn't any of the usual mudslides and heavenly outbursts although "Faithless" did manage to get the geriatric crowd rocking in their wheelchairs! Apart from them ancient...

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James Corden for Glastonbury? Depends on Wednesday's Result.

Funny story: James Corden for Glastonbury? Depends on Wednesday's Result.

Following the success of the unofficial World Cup song 'Shout for England', James Corden was all set to turn up as a surprise guest on Dizzee Rascal's Friday night Glastonbury set. But the appearance is under threat because of the possibility that E...

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Jeremy Clarkson to offer 'P*ss into your tent' service at Glastonbury

Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson to offer 'P*ss into your tent' service at Glastonbury

Having exhausted the number of people and ideas to shit on, the hound dog faced petrol head has just launched a new service for Glastonbury revellers. When the rain and mud has peaked, for a small fee, he will personally come along and piss in yo...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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