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Funny story: Xbox One found behind toilet, working perfectly

Xbox One found behind toilet, working perfectly

An Xbox One has been found behind a toilet in a male toilet room in St Enoch, Glasgow. It was discovered when a pipe burst. It is unknown how it got there in the first place, though people have suspicions that a gamer at E3 2013 had stole an Xbox One...
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Funny story: Glasgow Helicopter Crash Caused By Flock Of Distraught Seagulls

Glasgow Helicopter Crash Caused By Flock Of Distraught Seagulls

GLASGOW, Scotland - A flock of seagulls, distraught over the loss of their mates to a windmill farm by hatching a plan to take out a helicopter over a popular Glasgow pub, says anthropologist and part-time crime writer, Archibald Leach, University of...
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Funny story: Pandas escape from Glasgow Zoo and go on a rampage

Pandas escape from Glasgow Zoo and go on a rampage

Residents in Glasgow have been warned to be on the look out for the two Chinese Pandas that have been loaned to Glasgow Zoo in order for them to mate and produce baby pandas. According to the zoo owners, the pandas escaped their enclosure and are on...
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Funny story: Glasgow police arrest kissing lodger

Glasgow police arrest kissing lodger

A lodger wanted in connection with an assault on his landlord was arrested yesterday. For several years 51-year-old Hugh Yewlukinat had been living in lodgings in the Glasgow district. According to sauces left on the kitchen table, he'd recently s...
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Funny story: The Scottish Invented Football

The Scottish Invented Football

New research from Glasgow University has shown that football was invented in Scotland, and not, as the history books have it, in Cambridge. "We have documentary evidence that football was being played in Glasgow as far back as 1066," said Scottish...
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Funny story: Glasgow man ate 10% of the world's "rare earths"

Glasgow man ate 10% of the world's "rare earths"

A man in Glasgow is in hospital after it is estimated he has eaten up to 10% of the world's rare earth metals. Rare earths are metallic elements which are common but relatively hard to extract, and are valuable because they are used extensively by th...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict Implicated in Huhne Type Police Investigation

Pope Benedict Implicated in Huhne Type Police Investigation

Pope Benedict XVI has become embroiled in a scandal after it emerged that he may have tried to evade punishment for speeding during his vist to Scotland last September. Sources close to Strathclyde Police have reported that the a senior inspector...
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Funny story: Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are celebrating their new invention, but only in Glasgow. So far they have only been able to decode brain signals of people who 'think' in a Glasgow accent. Often there were NO brain signals to work with but scientists do believe they...
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Funny story: Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists in Scotland have announced they are close to unveiling their mind-reading machine in Glasgow. Apparently, at present the mind-reading machine is only able to read minds of people who 'think' and speak with a Glasgow accent. Unfortunate...
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Funny story: Trouble At Glasgow Royal Wedding Party

Trouble At Glasgow Royal Wedding Party

An unofficial party held to celebrate the Royal Wedding ended in chaos and disorder in Glasgow on Friday night. The event, held at Kelvingrove Park, initially went off well as party goers revelled in the sunshine, dancing to the music blaring out...
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Funny story: New Events for Commonwealth Games

New Events for Commonwealth Games

The Commonwealth Games in Glasgow 2014 will witness a number of new events . One of the most controversial is set to be Shoe Hurling as its felt that India will be the greatest beneficiary, given that this pastime is regularly practiced as a popul...
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Funny story: UN Sends Envoy To Glasgow

UN Sends Envoy To Glasgow

A summit between Rangers chief executive Martin Bain and Celtic's Peter Lawwell was held today at Hampden Par but the meeting ,chaired by the SFA, descended into chaos after Bain threw a packet of crisps at Lawwell, claiming they were "you lot's stap...
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Funny story: Glasgow Film Festival

Glasgow Film Festival

The 2011 Glasgow Film Festival opens today and pundits are keenly awaiting the latest batch of cinematic product from some of Scotland's finest young film makers. With over 200 films being shown over the next week, there will be ample opportunity,...
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Funny story: Glaswegian Comes Out On Top In Study

Glaswegian Comes Out On Top In Study

Unexpected results regarding accents have been issued recently by Northumbria University. The University's Social Linguistic department asked a selection of Japanese people to listen to various accents and grade them according to a number of perso...
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Funny story: Sarkozy Cites Smallprint After Glasgow Hiccup

Sarkozy Cites Smallprint After Glasgow Hiccup

David Cameron is set to face the condemnation of parliament following scrutiny of the smallprint in the "historic" military co-operation deal with France - which decrees Glasgow as an international nuclear-weapons testing facility. He will follow the...
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Funny story: Glasgow Council anger at Scotland's Commonwealth Games snub

Glasgow Council anger at Scotland's Commonwealth Games snub

Glasgow Lord Provost Robert Winter last night expressed surprise and disappointment at the news that Scotland's team managers for the Delhi Commonwealth Games would not subject their athletes to squalid, dirty and sub-standard conditions in the Athle...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict Requests Visit To Govan Bar

Pope Benedict Requests Visit To Govan Bar

Insiders today related that Pope Benedict XVI requested to be taken to the Govan bar where popular comedy show Rab C Nesbitt is filmed. To the horror of his minders. Despite the Pope's repeated requests that he fancied a wee dram in one of Glas...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle to sing "Flower of Scotland" for the Pope

Susan Boyle to sing "Flower of Scotland" for the Pope

If he can escape the damning evidence of unacceptable behaviour by his underlings in the Church, Pope Benedict will visit Glasgow, Scotland in September. One of the highlights of his visit will be a performance, in front of 150,000 by the Scottish...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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