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Funny story:  Glasgow man ate 10% of the world's "rare earths"

Glasgow man ate 10% of the world's "rare earths"

A man in Glasgow is in hospital after it is estimated he has eaten up to 10% of the world's rare earth metals. Rare earths are metallic elements which are common but relatively hard to extract, and are valuable because they are used extensively by th...
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Funny story:  Pope Benedict Implicated in  Huhne Type Police Investigation

Pope Benedict Implicated in Huhne Type Police Investigation

Pope Benedict XVI has become embroiled in a scandal after it emerged that he may have tried to evade punishment for speeding during his vist to Scotland last September. Sources close to Strathclyde Police have reported that the a senior inspector...
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Funny story:  Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are closer to inventing a "mind reading machine" after decoding the brain signals that make mental images in Glasgow

Scientists are celebrating their new invention, but only in Glasgow. So far they have only been able to decode brain signals of people who 'think' in a Glasgow accent. Often there were NO brain signals to work with but scientists do believe they...
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Funny story:  Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists closer to inventing mind-reading machine after brain wave breakthrough in Glasgow

Scientists in Scotland have announced they are close to unveiling their mind-reading machine in Glasgow. Apparently, at present the mind-reading machine is only able to read minds of people who 'think' and speak with a Glasgow accent. Unfortunate...
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Funny story:  Trouble At Glasgow Royal Wedding Party

Trouble At Glasgow Royal Wedding Party

An unofficial party held to celebrate the Royal Wedding ended in chaos and disorder in Glasgow on Friday night. The event, held at Kelvingrove Park, initially went off well as party goers revelled in the sunshine, dancing to the music blaring out...
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Funny story:  New Events for Commonwealth Games

New Events for Commonwealth Games

The Commonwealth Games in Glasgow 2014 will witness a number of new events . One of the most controversial is set to be Shoe Hurling as its felt that India will be the greatest beneficiary, given that this pastime is regularly practiced as a popul...
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Funny story:  UN Sends Envoy To Glasgow

UN Sends Envoy To Glasgow

A summit between Rangers chief executive Martin Bain and Celtic's Peter Lawwell was held today at Hampden Par but the meeting ,chaired by the SFA, descended into chaos after Bain threw a packet of crisps at Lawwell, claiming they were "you lot's stap...
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Funny story:  Glasgow Film Festival

Glasgow Film Festival

The 2011 Glasgow Film Festival opens today and pundits are keenly awaiting the latest batch of cinematic product from some of Scotland's finest young film makers. With over 200 films being shown over the next week, there will be ample opportunity,...
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Funny story:  Glaswegian Comes Out On Top In Study

Glaswegian Comes Out On Top In Study

Unexpected results regarding accents have been issued recently by Northumbria University. The University's Social Linguistic department asked a selection of Japanese people to listen to various accents and grade them according to a number of perso...
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Funny story:  Sarkozy Cites Smallprint After Glasgow Hiccup

Sarkozy Cites Smallprint After Glasgow Hiccup

David Cameron is set to face the condemnation of parliament following scrutiny of the smallprint in the "historic" military co-operation deal with France - which decrees Glasgow as an international nuclear-weapons testing facility. He will follow the...
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Funny story:  Glasgow Council anger at Scotland's Commonwealth Games snub

Glasgow Council anger at Scotland's Commonwealth Games snub

Glasgow Lord Provost Robert Winter last night expressed surprise and disappointment at the news that Scotland's team managers for the Delhi Commonwealth Games would not subject their athletes to squalid, dirty and sub-standard conditions in the Athle...
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Funny story:  Pope Benedict Requests Visit To Govan Bar

Pope Benedict Requests Visit To Govan Bar

Insiders today related that Pope Benedict XVI requested to be taken to the Govan bar where popular comedy show Rab C Nesbitt is filmed. To the horror of his minders. Despite the Pope's repeated requests that he fancied a wee dram in one of Glas...
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Funny story:  Susan Boyle to sing "Flower of Scotland" for the Pope

Susan Boyle to sing "Flower of Scotland" for the Pope

If he can escape the damning evidence of unacceptable behaviour by his underlings in the Church, Pope Benedict will visit Glasgow, Scotland in September. One of the highlights of his visit will be a performance, in front of 150,000 by the Scottish...
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Funny story:  Glasgow Patter: The Big Hoose

Glasgow Patter: The Big Hoose

On a visit to Glasgow try and stay in the City Centre and don't explore some of the way out housing schemes, where drugs, and gang warfare, are rife. There are even some areas where all that matters is whether you are a Catholic, or a Protestant,...
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Funny story:  Susan Boyle stuns XFactor nobodies who wish they were somebodies

Susan Boyle stuns XFactor nobodies who wish they were somebodies

Superstar, Susan Boyle, allegedly turned up at the XFactor tour today in Glasgow, Scotland a Twitterer twatted earlier this evening. Miss Boyle, showed off her £6000, bling bracelet, a birthday present from Simon Cowell and handed out £50 notes to...
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Funny story:  Glasgow named laziest city: Liverpool gutted

Glasgow named laziest city: Liverpool gutted

Liverpool City Council was today counting the cost of coming nowhere in the UK list of Laziest Cities. The report by Nuffield Health, a not-for-profit healthcare group, found that Glasgow was top of the list for lazy bastards around the UK and tha...
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Funny story:  Glaswegians scrape the barrel for famous people to honour

Glaswegians scrape the barrel for famous people to honour

At a meeting of Glasgow City Council yesterday, a large barrel full of holes was brought out of a cupboard, and councillors began scraping at the bottom of its insides to try and find famous people connected with their city. After hours they manag...
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Funny story:  Euthanasia Available In Glasgow At £250 A Pop

Euthanasia Available In Glasgow At £250 A Pop

Given the recent controversy over assisted suicides in Switzerland, we sent an undercover team out to find out if there were similar facilities available in the UK - but cheaper. A dodgy geezer from Salford gave us a Glasgow address and informed u...
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Breaking News...

Iron Manifold

SAN DIEGO, CA--Five years after hearing it for the first time, Danny Orsi still has no idea that the
Black Sabbath song "Iron Man" wasn't written for the film series.

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