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Funny satire stories about Geordies

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Funny story: UN Mandate To Curtail Population Gets First Approval

UN Mandate To Curtail Population Gets First Approval

The highly anticipated United Nation mandate to reduce the earth's population passed its first hurdle today after ambassadors voted to allow a general discussion on the proposed plan in August. The mandate, if passed, will set to reduce the planet...
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Funny story: Apple to release Geordie products

Apple to release Geordie products

Apple has announced a range of products designed especially for the people of Newcastle. The 'Why i' range will be available in the near future with the launch of 'why itunes' a music site devoted entirely to geordie artists such as Cheryl Cole, Jim...
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Funny story: U.S. 'X-Factor' Executives Ask Cheryl Cole of England To Refrain From Saying "Why Aye," "Yous," "Wat," and "Pet"

U.S. 'X-Factor' Executives Ask Cheryl Cole of England To Refrain From Saying "Why Aye," "Yous," "Wat," and "Pet"

HOLLYWOOD - The American version of Simon Cowell's X-Factor has not even aired yet and there already appears to be some trouble brewing and it deals with the English judge Cheryl Cole. Cole who is the girlfriend of the star of Dancing With The Sta...
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Funny story: Sending Coats to Newcastle

Sending Coats to Newcastle

The weather in Britain continues to plumb new depths and cause the bottom to fall out of thermometers. With temperatures plummeting to minus twenty, setting records as it goes, the people of Newcastle, effectively referred to as Geordies, have procla...
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Funny story: Alcoholics Anonymous close their Newcastle branch

Alcoholics Anonymous close their Newcastle branch

Alcoholics Anonymous have decided to close their Newcastle branch after nobody came to any meetings for the thirtieth month on the run. "We thought Newcastle would be a good place to set up an AA branch," said Alan Collic. "We'd heard there was a...
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Funny story: Ant & Dec warned off for wanting to join the Geordie Nationalists Party

Ant & Dec warned off for wanting to join the Geordie Nationalists Party

Anthony McPartlin, & Declan Donnelly, otherwise known as Ant & Dec,the comedy duo from Newcastle wanted to join the Geordie Nationalist Party to get a fairer deal for Geordie's but they have been warned they could lose their lucrative TV deal...
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Funny story: Geordieland Nationalists Demand Independence

Geordieland Nationalists Demand Independence

In the far North Of England near Hadrian's wall,in the land of the Geordie's known as Geordieland a new political party has sprung up The Geordieland Nationalist Party. Most Geordie's have been voting Labour for years, but many are now considering an...
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Funny story: Shearer - I Wouldn't Employ Him Says Garage Boss

Shearer - I Wouldn't Employ Him Says Garage Boss

As Geordies everywhere welcomed the appointment of 'Messiah,' 'Saviour,' 'Holy Moses,' 'Winston Churchill,' etc ad nauseum of Alan 'God Jesus And All The Saints' Shearer as temporary manager of Newcastle United in a desperate last ditch bid to a...
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Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson admits that he's not really Scottish, but a Geordie

Sir Alex Ferguson admits that he's not really Scottish, but a Geordie

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson surprised the footballing world today, when he announced he was actually from Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, and not from Scotland. 'Aye, it's true, man', he said from his whippet club near Gateshead, 'Ah'm actual...
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Funny story: Hundreds Of Geordies Hospitalised

Hundreds Of Geordies Hospitalised

Hundreds of Geordies were rushed into hospitals in the North East tonight suffering from cringeing embarrassment following the Toon's 5-1 home drubbing by a frankly, not that great Liverpool team. 'It was a joke that was,' said one as he was conso...
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Funny story: Fabio Capello Speaks English Better Than Geordies

Fabio Capello Speaks English Better Than Geordies

Fabio Capello, the England football manager, now speaks English to a better standard than many native-born UK residents, according to me.
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Funny story: Outbreak Of Tyneside Accents In Washington

Outbreak Of Tyneside Accents In Washington

Today there was a sudden outbreak of English Tyneside accents in the American capital of Washington, D.C. 'Speaking from the White House, ABC News reporter Kent State said: 'Well, viewers, sources at the FBI have confirmed that people have bin bre...
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Funny story: Gazza Sectioned For Acting Like A Geordie

Gazza Sectioned For Acting Like A Geordie

Footballer Paul Gascoigne was today sectioned under the Mental Health Act for acting like a Geordie. Yesterday, in Tyneside, he was spotted walking up to a woman and saying: 'You's a reet bonnie lass, tha knaas. Gonnae gang to the pub wi' us, for...
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Funny story: Prehistoric Ape Gene discovered in Newcastle!

Prehistoric Ape Gene discovered in Newcastle!

Scientists are excited after discovering a gene which directly links the people of Newcastle upon Tyne with prehistoric ape men.
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Funny story: Shearer Sings for Geordie Nation

Shearer Sings for Geordie Nation

Alan Shearer has revealed a well-kept secret during his talks with Kevin Keegan, pleading for a top job at possibly the greatest football club in the world. The secret? Well namely that he is in fact a professionally-trained opera singer.
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Funny story: Evil Geordies wrecked our house

Evil Geordies wrecked our house

An English couple were yesterday being consoled by relatives after a crowd of between 200-300 Geordies ransacked their nice detached house.
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Breaking News...

Palace Orders Hit on Former DIA Intel Chief

Emperor Barack I, fuming over MidEast reality check by LtGen Davis on Sunday, ordered a hit on the General, palace spies report. Word is Terminator-in-Chief Valerie Jarrett got the nod.
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