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Pirates' Cruise Ship Snack AttackA motley crew of swashbuckling pirates commandeered a luxury cruise ship off the coast of Somalia and demanded 10 million dollars until the buccaneers dined in the cafeteria and died of food poisoning
Snippets on Sale AgainOkay our last sale was so popular we ran clean out of snippets. So now were going to offer a buy-back program. 100 snippets for the price of 1, that's our final offer. Don't be shy watch them fly!
Chris Christi Licks SicknessAs a result of an intensive three-year psychological reconditioning program under the supervision of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, Chris Christi is almost completely cured of his homosexual disease
Self Righteous Wing ExtremismFrom the summit of Mt. Appalachia with arms raised skyward in a flagrant display of pompous pride and pretentiousness, self-ordained Pope Rick Santorum decreed that he and only he is holier than thou.
US Victim of OPEC CoupIn a sneakily sinister scheme the Oil Pumping Evil Countries (OPEC) dropped the price of crude oil to two cents per barrel, then conquered the US when consumers choked to death from car exhaust fumes.
Mike Huckabee Sees GodGOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee (Huckleberry Finn's illegitimate great grandson), claimed to be god almighty, swearing, "May god strike me dead if I'm lying". He hasn't been seen ever since.
New Law of Physics DiscoveredCiting wrestler Hulk Hogan as evidence, renowned super genius Stephen Hawking proved that one's intellectual capacity decreases in direct proportion to increased physical strength and athletic ability
Planned Parenthood (PPH) Signs A Contract For Collection of More PartsDue to dire demand for baby organs,PPH inked a deal with Russian Mob Czar Kingich Herodski to kill newborn babies of all Tea Party-ites. Progressive homes to be passed over by posting Barack I pics.
Obama Kicked Out Of Kenya, Visa RescindedPresident Obama left Kenya today after its President grew exasperated with Obama's incessant harping about "gay rights" during a visit that was supposed to be about security cooperation and trade.
Pentagon "Concerned" After 300 Recruiting Stations Simultaneously BombedThe Pentagon today said it is "looking into" the bombing of over 300 Army recruiting stations. "We are wondering what the soldiers working at these centers did to provoke the explosions."
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