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Funny story: Britain's right to Vote stripped from those on Welfare, Disability and War pensions

Britain's right to Vote stripped from those on Welfare, Disability and War pensions

Iain Duncan Smith, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions announced today that anyone on benefits, disability (PIP), tax credits or war pension would not be eligible to vote in the forthcoming elections this year and new legislation was being fast...
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Funny story: Channel 4 debate with Cameron and Miliband to be SEXED up with Ant and Dec

Channel 4 debate with Cameron and Miliband to be SEXED up with Ant and Dec

The TV debate due on the 26th of March on Channel 4 and Sky between David Cameron and Ed Miliband looks likely to bore the arse of millions of UK viewers. TOP advertisers at Channel 4 have threatened to pull the plug on the debate unless the TV...
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Funny story: Ed Miliband rehearses for 'empty chair' debate by debating empty chair

Ed Miliband rehearses for 'empty chair' debate by debating empty chair

With the possibility that David Cameron could be "empty-chaired" in the TV election debates, Ed Miliband has been prepping for his appearance by debating an empty chair in private rehearsals. "Ed is very concerned about credibility", an insider to...
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Funny story: Labour Leader Decides to Campaign on TV Debates

Labour Leader Decides to Campaign on TV Debates

There was shock in Westminster when the Leader of the Opposition, one Ed Miliband, declared his party's main issue in the impending election. "As a party we have in the past fought elections based on the economy, the future of the NHS, unemploymen...
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Funny story: Cameron tells jobless "Wear blindfolds in supermarkets or lose benefits."

Cameron tells jobless "Wear blindfolds in supermarkets or lose benefits."

The Prime Minister has announced plans to introduce the wearing of blindfolds in supermarkets for all benefit claimants which will be introduced of the Tories win the next General Election in May. The new requirement will apply to anyone claiming...
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Funny story: Preparing For Erection Day - Cameron is truly the cock of the walk

Preparing For Erection Day - Cameron is truly the cock of the walk

May 7th has been set as Britain's Great Erection Day when the Party with the most seats will win the erection. Labour & Conservatives are neck and neck but could be upset by the SNP throwing a caber into the erection battle. Tory big knob,...
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Funny story: Mind Over Money: Ed Balls Solves the Budget Crisis

Mind Over Money: Ed Balls Solves the Budget Crisis

Ed Balls has been finding it difficult to come up with a suitable infallible authority to point the way forward for Labour's next election. Yup! He tells us that Marx and Engels are, well, a bit old hat, Stalin a bit nasty, and as for Trotsky, we...
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Funny story: Free candy-floss for everyone!

Free candy-floss for everyone!

That was today's announcement from Ed Miliband. In an all too brief interview today, he told me. "Flibbly flibbly flobbery, blibble blobble dip dop smoink." Thankfully I'd had the foresight to bring Bill from Bill & Ben and he translated. "...
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Funny story: Parties target bloated voters

Parties target bloated voters

When it comes to marginal seats, noone knows more than fat people. That's why in the upcoming election, the most sought-after votes are those of the overweight. The plump form a huge demographic, literally. Studies show that 58% of the UK populati...
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Funny story: New Legislation on Election

New Legislation on Election

Following the Government's brilliant initiative to try and hide the situation in A & E in England, by extending extensively the criteria for deciding there is a serious problem, the Government is rushing through new legislation before the electio...
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Funny story: Seven-way bare-knuckle fighting to replace political debate

Seven-way bare-knuckle fighting to replace political debate

The UK general election is only four months away, and TV companies are gagging for an exciting televised showdown between the main contenders. But instead of a debate, there is to be a bare-knuckle fight between all seven of the main party leaders, b...
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Funny story: Greens Respond To Cameron's TV Debate Threat

Greens Respond To Cameron's TV Debate Threat

Green Party leader, Maisie Daisy, has responded to Prime Minister David Cameron's threat not to take part in televised election debates if the Greens are not also present. "We have considered the Prime Minister's statement very carefully and, foll...
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Funny story: Is Cameron In Negotiations To Defect To UKIP?

Is Cameron In Negotiations To Defect To UKIP?

David Cameron is reported to be "livid" about rumours that he has not been informed about negotiations for his possible defection to the "highly popular" YUKIP party. Nigel Farage is said to be delighted about the rumours and is said to be keen to...
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Funny story: Conservatives find things that are not the previous Labour Government's fault

Conservatives find things that are not the previous Labour Government's fault

In a sensational disclosure to a Sunday newspaper, David Cameron admitted yesterday that there are some things in life that are probably not the fault of the previous Labour Government. These are: Kim Jon un, the first world war, the second world war...
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Funny story: Somerset housewife denies leaving bath filling while at hairdressers

Somerset housewife denies leaving bath filling while at hairdressers

Housewife Gloria Red-Nees has denied flooding Somerset by leaving the bath taps running while at the hairdressers. Husband, Lord Farquharse Red- Nees said "Oh yes you did" to her this morning. "I bloody well did not" said Gloria to our flooded co...
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Funny story: Spoof Candidate for Election!

Spoof Candidate for Election!

Spoof Candidate, Jeremiah Whoops, is standing in the next General election. 'This is no joke' he told reporters tripping him up on his way to the cabinet 'I really need a pee.' The hacks did not give up and besiged Jeremiah when he emerged. 'I tho...
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Funny story: Most Marijuana Smokers Can't Recall if they Voted to Legalizing Marijuana or Not.

Most Marijuana Smokers Can't Recall if they Voted to Legalizing Marijuana or Not.

John Posey of Bent Creek in Washington State says he remembers telling his friends that he intended to vote to legalize marijuana when that initiative was offered on the November 6th ballot. However, Mr. Posey also stated that he got high on some...
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Funny story: If I had been a cat, then I could have been a dog

If I had been a cat, then I could have been a dog

Last night former Prime Minister and First Lord of the Treasury (World Bank, hint hint!) Gordon Brown said that he would still be Prime Minister if the News of the Swirling Wurlitzer revelations had occurred 18 months earlier. His reasoning was that Andy Coulson would have been arrested and David Cameron would have been fatally damaged by the publicity surrounding the arrest of his Director of Com...
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Breaking News...

Palace Orders Hit on Former DIA Intel Chief

Emperor Barack I, fuming over MidEast reality check by LtGen Davis on Sunday, ordered a hit on the General, palace spies report. Word is Terminator-in-Chief Valerie Jarrett got the nod.
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