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Funny story: Irish fighting mad over pub closing

Irish fighting mad over pub closing

RUB-A-DUB-DUBLIN, IRELAND, THE EMERALD ISLE -- Oil Can Mary's, a popular pub in Rub-a-Dub-Dublin's gay district, has been closed "until further notice," an act that has enraged the establishment's regular patrons. "Two micks are killed, and I have...
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Funny story: Post Office Begins Registering Sexual Orientation

Post Office Begins Registering Sexual Orientation

Washington, DC-- The post office has begun a new program to find out information about Americans' sexual orientation. The federal government wants to know how many gay people there are in the country so it can better service sexual minorities. Lett...
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Funny story: Repressed gay man reaffirms his heterosexuality via song to friends, family

Repressed gay man reaffirms his heterosexuality via song to friends, family

Personal trainer Marcelo Menzies strongly denied his homosexuality to his friends and family today despite weeks of rumours indicating he was gay. Menzies decided to put the issue to bed using the talents of his incredible singing voice singing...
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Funny story: Soccer Players Part of "Homosexual Abomination"

Soccer Players Part of "Homosexual Abomination"

An Orthodox Russian priest is celebrating Russia's loss in the World Cup. This is because it's all part of a "homosexual abomination" plan to oppose Christianity. Father Alexander Shumsky has apparently determined this by looking at the brightly...
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Funny story: Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

AP--Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) compared being an asshole to alcoholism Wednesday, arguing that both can be overcome. "Whether or not you feel compelled to be an asshole or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that," Perry explained during...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin and Alaskans Complain About Sardine Cum Polluting Waters

Sarah Palin and Alaskans Complain About Sardine Cum Polluting Waters

Anchorage - Sardines entering coastal waters off Alaska have once again left a milky substance for miles of Alaskan coastline, causing conservatives to complain about the open display of unwanton sex! "It's just disgusting!" said Sarah Palin, "All...
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Funny story: Phyllis Schlafly Inadvertently "Outs" Grandson When She Confuses Gay with 'Gay'

Phyllis Schlafly Inadvertently "Outs" Grandson When She Confuses Gay with 'Gay'

Topeka, KS - Phyllis Schlafly, best known for her unwavering extremely conservative political and social views and her opposition to modern feminism, inadvertently 'outed' her homosexual grandson by describing him as gay. During a speech before...
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Funny story: Children's Book 'Tale of Peter Cottontail' Critized for Lack of Species Diversity

Children's Book 'Tale of Peter Cottontail' Critized for Lack of Species Diversity

Chicago, IL - The Rainbow/PUSH Coalition and the American Civil Liberties Union, in conjunction with the Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender community, are demanding that the children's book 'The Tale of Peter Cottontail' be rewritten to include a w...
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Funny story: Godzilla Supports Gay Marriage

Godzilla Supports Gay Marriage

Superstar Godzilla recently sat down with Starpower's Lisa Lenard and when she asked him about gay marriage a pretty chill Godzilla says he totally supports it. "Look, I'm the last guy that should be denying anyone anything. I mean, when I come...
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Funny story: Sharia-style lapidations for anyone caught fornicating at Sultan of Brunei's Beverly Hills Hotel

Sharia-style lapidations for anyone caught fornicating at Sultan of Brunei's Beverly Hills Hotel

Los Angeles - And filthy - uh, fifty! - lashes for sneaking in rough trade into the $10,000-night Presidential Suite, especially from outside Brunei's officially-sanctioned hooker pool. The draconian punishments also apply to what Sultan Hass-Anal...
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Funny story: Is There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 3

Is There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 3

As everyone on earth now knows - this is my third column on this - beings from the planet Sophia 69 have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. Details of how this has affected media content...
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Funny story: Zac Efron Is Going Shirtless Everywhere!

Zac Efron Is Going Shirtless Everywhere!

Zac Efron ripping his shirt off at public events, like the MTV Awards, is not so rare an event according to ZMT. The sexy star was seen the day after the MTV Awards at the Leatherpride Festival in Akron OH. The shirtless hunk was strutting his s...
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Funny story: Is There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 2

Is There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 2

As everyone on earth now knows, beings from the planet Sophia 69, that harbors extraordinarily intelligent extra-terrestrial life, have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. As reported in...
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Funny story: Barack Obama Headed To Camp David

Barack Obama Headed To Camp David

US President Barack Obama is said to be on his way to Camp David for an emergency haircut. The President woke Secret Service Agents this morning, complaining that he "needed a haircut - right now!" and screamed "Get Air Force 1 - I am going to Cam...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Says Kathy Griffin Looks Like Ann Coulter But With Red Hair

Donald Trump Says Kathy Griffin Looks Like Ann Coulter But With Red Hair

NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump has certainly never been shy about speaking his mind and his latest spouting proves that. Trump speaking to a reporter with American Spotlight Magazine said that he truly feels that Kathy Griffin needs to retire from t...
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Funny story: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Wants To Ban Same-Sex Couples From Visiting The Grand Canyon

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Wants To Ban Same-Sex Couples From Visiting The Grand Canyon

PHOENIX - Jan Brewer, the lame duck governor of Arizona, has privately said that she is not leaving office without making some hellacious waves. Governor Brewer allegedly told a very close friend that she is serious about her anti-gay and anti-les...
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Funny story: Michigan Explains Why It Will Now Allow Same-Sex Marriages

Michigan Explains Why It Will Now Allow Same-Sex Marriages

ANN ARBOR, Michigan - The state of Michigan has just announced that it will now allow same sex couples [i.e. a guy and a guy or a gal and a gal] to enter into holy matrimony. The state's thousands of same-sexers cheered so loudly that people livin...
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Funny story: Kathy Griffin and Cher Are Fighting Over Gay Pal Anderson Cooper

Kathy Griffin and Cher Are Fighting Over Gay Pal Anderson Cooper

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The latest catfight to come out of Tinsel Town involves comedian Kathy Griffin, 53, and iconic singer Cher, 67. Hollywood Innuendo is reporting that the two divas are feuding over the friendship of CNN gay talk show host Anderson...
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Breaking News...

Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL

The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.

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