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Funny satire stories about Gary Neville

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Funny story: Ferguson Rules Out Berbatov

Ferguson Rules Out Berbatov

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has today ruled out striker Dimitar Berbatov. The news came as a shock to the room full of unscrupulous underhanded weasels with most viewing this as a step too far from the 69 year old Scot. Reporters...
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Funny story: Gary Neville 'Not Coping Well' With Revelation That He's Really A Scouser

Gary Neville 'Not Coping Well' With Revelation That He's Really A Scouser

Former Manchester United and England full back, Gary Neville, is apparently having a hard time dealing with the revelation by chubby TV presenter James Corden, that his great great great grandparents, or somebody, were actually born in Liverpool.
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Funny story: Carlos Tevez blames Coronation Street for everything

Carlos Tevez blames Coronation Street for everything

Carlos Tevez has blamed Coronation Street for his refusal to get off the bench against Bayern Munich. The Argentinian has told Roberto Mancini that he feels "bored and depressed" and has complained that his bum looks big. "I have turned into a...
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Funny story: Gary Neville's Unofficial Autobiography - C*nts

Gary Neville's Unofficial Autobiography - C*nts

It's the book the whole of football has been waiting for - one man's angry rants against everything from Sir Alex Ferguson to his pet goldfish, Busby. Exclusive to the Spoof are these excerpts from Gary Neville's unofficial autobiography 'Cunts'. On Sir Alex Ferguson 'I met Sir Alex before he was a Sir, just when he was plain old Alex Ferguson or 'the Gaffer' as I used to call him. He w...
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Funny story: Scousers Shocked Rigid As Gary Neville Says Nice Things About Liverpool On Sky Sports

Scousers Shocked Rigid As Gary Neville Says Nice Things About Liverpool On Sky Sports

Liverpool is a city in shock. Native Liverpudlians could be seen shaking their heads and mumbling to themselves as they went about their business this morning. It wasn't so much that King Kenny's lads had gone down to dat Lundun and dismantled the...
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Funny story: Gary Neville calls Barcelona "a team of midgets"

Gary Neville calls Barcelona "a team of midgets"

Politically incorrect TV pundit Gary Neville is back on the naughty step again. The outspoken ex footballer has called Barcelona "a team of midgets" The FA have received scores of complaints from short people with the hump. Spokesman Loft...
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Funny story: Manchester United stars to be new Ant and Dec

Manchester United stars to be new Ant and Dec

Ex Manchester United aces Gary and Phil Neville are to be the new Ant and Dec. The popular and charismatic footballers are being groomed to host 'I Am a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here' A media PR spokesperson told reporters: "It is a winnin...
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Funny story: Tempers Flare In Gary Neville Testimonial Match As Juventus Beat Man Utd

Tempers Flare In Gary Neville Testimonial Match As Juventus Beat Man Utd

It was always going to be a tense affair at Old Trafford, probably beginning when Phil Neville described brother Gary as "a knob" to Sky Sports reporter, Jeff Stelling in a pre-match interview. Having shown up especially for the occasion, David Be...
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Funny story: Carlos Tevez eats Gary Neville

Carlos Tevez eats Gary Neville

Rumours are rife that Argentinian gourmet Carlos Tevez has eaten Manchester United full back Gary Neville. Tevez has put on 11 stone while injured, yet seemed a lot pacier than normal when he came off the bench in last night's game against Tottenh...
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Funny story: Dimitar Berbatov To Stop Wearing White Chav Socks

Dimitar Berbatov To Stop Wearing White Chav Socks

Manchester United's Bulgarian £30 million signing from Tottenham, Dimitar Berbatov, has reportedly told friends that his white sock wearing days are over. According to sources, certain malevolent elements at White Hart Lane had told Berbatov that...
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Funny story: Gary Neville fails to get the Sky Pundit Job, wants to return to United

Gary Neville fails to get the Sky Pundit Job, wants to return to United

Gary Neville, the former Manchester United right back, has been knocked back from his application to get the vacancy at Sky Sports following the departure of Andy Grey and Richard Keys over the Sian Massey Affair. According to his agent, Mony Grab...
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Funny story: Neville Calls It A Day Before He Really Embarasses Himself

Neville Calls It A Day Before He Really Embarasses Himself

Gary Neville has finally done the decent thing and retired from top flight football. Speaking candidly on MUTV he issued the following statement. 'I'm packing in now because I realise I'm shite. I can't run anymore, in fact when I start to run,...
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Funny story: Gary Neville is to spend more time with his family

Gary Neville is to spend more time with his family

The big headline was that Gary Neville quit football completely at the age of thirty five having spent the past forty-two years playing for Manchester United. Most Manchester United fans were under the impression he had retired two years ago. "Was...
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Funny story: Gary Neville's Body Retires From Football, Chin Vows To Carry On

Gary Neville's Body Retires From Football, Chin Vows To Carry On

In an unusual, but unsurprising move, Gary Neville's body has announced that it is to retire from Association Football - effective immediately. However in a separate shock press conference, his chin has vowed to carry on, and would even consider s...
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Funny story: Manchester United Star Gary Neville Hangs Boots Up

Manchester United Star Gary Neville Hangs Boots Up

Manchester United have announced in a statement on their website this morning that former captain Gary Neville has hung his boots up. Neville, 35, who has made a staggering 602 appearances for the Reds, decided to hang the boots up in the corner o...
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Funny story: Ferguson spotted walking Neville!

Ferguson spotted walking Neville!

Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson has been photographed literally walking United veteran and former captain, Gary Neville. The Red Devils manager was spotted by onlookers walking Neville across an exclusive golf course in Cheshire, as if he...
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Funny story: Gary Neville To Leave United

Gary Neville To Leave United

Gary Neville will be leaving Manchester United when his current contract expires. Despite protestations that United is the only club for the more moustachioed (but only just) of the Neville brothers, from next season, Gary will be looking for a ne...
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Funny story: Gary Neville To Take The Reins At Anfield?

Gary Neville To Take The Reins At Anfield?

Strange days at Anfield, with the mighty Reds stuck down in the bottom three, Fernando Torres suffering a hair colour crisis, Jamie Carragher developing a cockney accent to appease his bezzy mate Joe Cole, and Roy Hodgson's job on the line... Step...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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