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GPS-enabled Cryptographer Limited Edition all the rage as inventor launches 12mph electric suitcase

Funny story: GPS-enabled Cryptographer Limited Edition all the rage as inventor launches 12mph electric suitcase

Changsha, China - A deluxe version of an inventor's motorised suitcase on wheels was launched today aimed at the lucrative international Security Services market. According to a New China Toast press release the 'Lock Up N Go' invention is the br...

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Giant designer suitcase in Moscow's Red Square 'probably stuffed with dead MI6 cryptographers'

Funny story: Giant designer suitcase in Moscow's Red Square 'probably stuffed with dead MI6 cryptographers'

Moscow - The sudden, unexpected appearance of the huge 'art installation' has sparked terror among KGB bosses after an anonymous Muscovite wag scrawled RIP Gareth Williams in bold Cyrillic script all over the scarlet Louis Vuitton portmanteau. Dec...

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Crop circle of dead MI6 cryptographer holdall sprouts suddenly at Alton Barnes Common

Funny story: Crop circle of dead MI6 cryptographer holdall sprouts suddenly at Alton Barnes Common

London - "These snooping claims are utterly baseless," the UK's top Spookmaster General said today as news of the field etching's materialization broke. "We don't need to outsource snooping on British Tea Party taxpayers to some sort of hush-hush,...

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W32.Flamer worm 'created by moonlighting spooks like cryptographer Gareth Williams' - report

Funny story: W32.Flamer worm 'created by moonlighting spooks like cryptographer Gareth Williams' - report

London - The former MI6 cryptographer has been identified with a sophisticated cyber worm that targeted the Iran Petroleum ministry and its oleaginous terminals. A secret report into surreptitious palm-greasing says key signatures of the W32.Flam...

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Brilliant mathematician Gareth Williams 'probably Stephen Hawking's son'

Funny story: Brilliant mathematician Gareth Williams 'probably Stephen Hawking's son'

Cambridge - Hawking is known to have shagged a number of trollops keen to fertilise their eggs by such a humungous genius [sic] - back in the daze when he could still get it up. The former Cambridge University Lucasian Professor of Mathematics has...

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Office romance clues in MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams death

Funny story: Office romance clues in MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams death

London - A senior line manager is in the frame for erasing details of a six month long fling with the dead spook 'that went down the plughole'. [The romance or the bloke? -'Ed'] Gareth Wiliams was found naked 'inside a sports bag' in what cryptolo...

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Gareth Williams murder detectives call in an expert to help

Funny story: Gareth Williams murder detectives call in an expert to help

London Metropolitan police have called in an expert to help solve the mystifying mystery of the mysterious death of mystery man Gareth Williams. "What we know," said Detective in Charge, DI Sue Tecase, "is that he was in a bag, dead, and worked fo...

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Spy-in-a-bag's 'solo bondage caper' story fails to convince

Funny story: Spy-in-a-bag's 'solo bondage caper' story fails to convince

London - Professional escapologists today queried the latest dramatic twist at an inquest into MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams' death. A former landlady testified about having to rescue the spook in an unlikely sounding solo bondage crisis wher...

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Video shows MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams 'riding tandem bike with Neil Heywood'

Funny story: Video shows MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams 'riding tandem bike with Neil Heywood'

London - Reports that 'they liked to share a saddle' were rubbished today before the emergence of previously unseen footage of the two men cycling near the Houses of Parliament. Following close behind is another dodgy pair, subsequently identified...

Read full story View 'Video shows MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams 'riding tandem bike with Neil Heywood''

Dead MI6 cryptographer's char lady stung by 'dark arts' slur

Funny story: Dead MI6 cryptographer's char lady stung by 'dark arts' slur

Surrey - Pratts Bottom resident and Foreign Orifice-approved cleaning woman Mrs Ida Hoover has spoken of her disgust at 'filthy' slurs blaming a covert MI6 division for the improbably immaculate state of Gareth Williams' apartment. "WTF do they me...

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Irish 'intelligence' cryptogtrapher theory as body-in-the-bag woman found in Dublin?

Funny story: Irish 'intelligence' cryptogtrapher theory as body-in-the-bag woman found in Dublin?

Dublin, Eire - Any link to a deceased British code breaker is of course extremely tenuous Gardai sources admitted today. The discovery of a woman's body stuffed inside a large wheeled travel bag in St David's Terrace, Blackhorse Avenue, Dublin 7 h...

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Latest 'Spooks' series cancels 'body-in-bag' episode amid fears over Werritty lookalike actor

Funny story: Latest 'Spooks' series cancels 'body-in-bag' episode amid fears over Werritty lookalike actor

London - Critics had already complained that the last episode's plotline was too close to the bone amid many unanswered questions about MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams' unexplained death. This morning the seventh and final Spooks offering was...

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Body-in-the-bag syndrome rears its ugly in Lewisham

Funny story: Body-in-the-bag syndrome rears its ugly in Lewisham

London - An MI6 codebreaker's copycat RIP fears have surfaced again with the grim discovery in some South London bushes. The find comes exactly one year after cryptographer Gareth Williams' unexplained death in a security service 'serviced' Pimlic...

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MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams' sim cards may hold mobile hacking clues

Funny story: MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams' sim cards may hold mobile hacking clues

London - Sim cards found in the dead code-breaker's flat are to be scanned for signs of hacking a spooks' source claimed today. Neatly laid-out on a sideboard 'in a pentagonal pattern' their discovery at the cryptographer's flat caused widespread...

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Lost Property Office clue in spy-in-the-bag whodunnit

Funny story: Lost Property Office clue in spy-in-the-bag whodunnit

London - (Spy-Who-Bagged-Me News): It's been described as identical to the custom-cut key found inside Gareth Williams' North Face zip-up holdall. The exact double of the titanium two-inch case opener has suddenly turned up in a bag of theatrical...

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Copycat links to dead MI6 cryptographer in new body-in-suitcase murder?

Funny story: Copycat links to dead MI6 cryptographer in new body-in-suitcase murder?

Holmfirth, West Yorkshire - (Emotional Baggage): Residents of a Yorkshire village where the Beeb's Last of the Summer Swine sitcom was filmed are demanding answers. Was mother-of-two Marie Stewart's body dumped in a suitcase because of sicko copyc...

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MI6 cryptographer holdall surfaces in NYC hedge fund insider dealing case

Funny story: MI6 cryptographer holdall surfaces in NYC hedge fund insider dealing case

New York - (Smoke N Mirrors): The North Face holdall at the core of a Houdini-like death of spy-in-the-bag codebreaker Gareth Williams has suddenly popped up in a New York insider dealing case. Former Wall Street hedge fund high flier Donald Longu...

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Is Christopher Jefferies the DNA father of dead MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams?

Funny story: Is Christopher Jefferies the DNA father of dead MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams?

Bristol - (Deeper Down The Rabbit Hole News): The facial resemblance between the two is pretty damned odd, DNA Forensics said today. Of course, one of them's dead and the other just a distinctly fey and weedy-looking suspect, awaiting Bristol poli...

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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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