After thousands of years of questions and loyalties, turmoil and radicalism, wars and crusades, stonings and hostage taking, tonight the creator of the universe speaks to humanity!
(Que: Opening soundtrack music from movie, The Ten Commandments)
Good evening. I am your host, Adam Handy, and this is God Speak.
Tonight's guest-deity will be determined by the spinning...
A crowd of more than 20 people turned up at Trouser World in South Benfleet yesterday to see 70's television celebrity Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin receive the prestigious title of 'Trouser Wearer of The Year 2011.
A delighted Keith told us:
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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