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Funny satire stories about Gambling

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Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Funny story: Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Calvin Jones, a self-identified gambling addict, says that his life continues to get “bettor and bettor” as he continues to discover new and exciting things on which to wager. As a former semipro baseball player, Cal explained that he initially gr...

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President-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster

Funny story: President-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster

Special to TPN - Boy Scouts of America president Randall Stephenson announced that President-elect Donald Trump will become an honorary scoutmaster at the organization's National Jamboree to be held in July 2017. "Mr. Trump exemplifies all those...

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New Government Study Shows Old Government Study was a Waste of Money

Funny story: New Government Study Shows Old Government Study was a Waste of Money

A recent government study just concluded that the previous government study was a complete waste of money. Government scientists previously conducted a study on the gambling habits of monkeys, to see if the monkeys copied other monkeys betting habits...

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The Transcendental Gambling Cult

Funny story: The Transcendental Gambling Cult

Investors on Wall Street are turning in droves to a new cult that is sweeping America. Spokesman for Scientology Tom Cruise has said it should be banned outright. Officials of the Sri Swami Winner's cult called "Scientific Amerology" deny that it is a cult. They say it is a "natural philosophy" of the New Age that was incubated during the the 1960s Flower Power Movement in Los Angeles and has...

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Man Forced to Pay Gambling Debt he owes from Parallel Universe

Funny story: Man Forced to Pay Gambling Debt he owes from Parallel Universe

Clearwater, Florida guy, Sammy Dweeberson, spent a pretty uneventful life, up until now. His daily routine consisted of a shower and a nose shave, a breakfast of asparagus cookies, work at a candle manufacturing factory, a stop at a Popeye's on the...

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Bookmakers Open Betting on Savile Inquiry

Funny story: Bookmakers Open Betting on Savile Inquiry

NB:The following was written one day before Tony Blackburn got it in the neck from the Beeb. The Chief CEO at Chapbrooks betting firm is a retired army major. Our sports reporter at "U-R-FKD" magazine called around to see him to explain Chapbrooks...

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The Case Against Recreation - Part 2: Gambling

Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 2: Gambling

GAMBLING The gambler's idea of having fun is playing a game and winning some money. But gambling is more of a sport than it is a form of entertainment, and like sports a player can win some games but most of the time they lose. And unlike a game of sports the losing player loses money, which is not a very entertaining. Those who think that it is entertaining are clinically diagnosed as bei...

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Naughty MPs also using Computers for Porn and Gambling say dismissed Judges

Funny story: Naughty MPs also using Computers for Porn and Gambling say dismissed Judges

Just as if things couldn't get any worse for the UK' s establishment after the dismissal of three judges for viewing pornography on business computers the other day, a recent audit of the House of Commons networks has uncovered similar misuse on 63 M...

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Russell Brand's Democratic Lottery

Russell Brand is sick of the lottery being run purely by poncey squares, greedy plums and corrupt geezers, who cruelly and arbitrarily force people against their will to choose random numbers... In the vain hope that just on this one single, solit...

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Sports Betting Good for Heart Health and Blood Pressure Says Las Vegas Casino Owners

Funny story: Sports Betting Good for Heart Health and Blood Pressure Says Las Vegas Casino Owners

Las Vegas, NV Las Vegas casino owners concluded a study and released the findings today. They found that gambling on anything, but especially sports, is very therapeutic and has many benefits, including lowering the risk of heart attack, stroke, and...

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First Ever Bookmaker Discovered

Funny story: First Ever Bookmaker Discovered

ROME ITALY Archaeologists in Rome have unearthed the remains of what appears to have been the world's first known bookmaker. They have concluded from examining his sarcophagus remains that the man apparently had leapt to his death very possibly from...

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Double-or-nothing Bet On Instant Replay Leads to State's Largest Reported Gambling Loss

Funny story: Double-or-nothing Bet On Instant Replay Leads to State's Largest Reported Gambling Loss

Indian Head, OK - A man from Texas lost $424,000 last month after he placed a double-or-nothing bet on the instant replay of a March Madness college basketball game. The man was down $212,000 dollars when he placed the bet. It is the largest gamblin...

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L'Wren Scott loved a roulette flutter but Lady Luck deserted her virtual craps table punts

Funny story: L'Wren Scott loved a roulette flutter but Lady Luck deserted her virtual craps table punts

Los Angeles - An online spread betting website has published pictures of the late designer's $20,000 win at a Seizures Palace, Las Vegas roulette wheel on New Year's Eve 2005. Smiling L'Wren and her deadbeat philandering septuagenarian boyfriend M...

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Top Opus Dei bundler bankrupted by Amazonbotch-link online poker site

Funny story: Top Opus Dei bundler bankrupted by Amazonbotch-link online poker site

London - One of the British Establishment's untouchables, a shady Milord decorated with a Vatican knighthood by Hitler's Pope Benedict the 69th, is living a secret double life after being bankrupted for almost $5million by a subsidiary of online spre...

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Las Vegas To Build An All-Nude Gambling Casino

Funny story: Las Vegas To Build An All-Nude Gambling Casino

LAS VEGAS - Reports coming out of Sin City state that gambling casinos are losing billions of dollars annually. The gambling casino industry is naturally very concerned about this detail. The Camel Hump Gambling Casino Corporation has announced...

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Spooky how Madonna's new 'smart' mascara has made her psychic

Funny story: Spooky how Madonna's new 'smart' mascara has made her psychic

Los Angeles - A $500,000 mascara originally developed by space program scientists as eye medication for treating astronauts' gamma ray blast exposure has been endorsed by Madonna as an awesome gambling aid. In a forthcoming interview with Megabux...

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Seedy billionaire online poker magnate's $25million ante-up in Ecuador racketeering lawsuit will bomb says ex-partner

Funny story: Seedy billionaire online poker magnate's $25million ante-up in Ecuador racketeering lawsuit will bomb says ex-partner

New York - "I heard they kicked him out of Gamblers Anonymous for that $25million Donziger punt," former investor Arurag Dikshit (No kidding!) said today just as his onetime Californian business partner, the billionaire online gambling tycoon Russ De...

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UK Bookies Odds on Harry Potter Book 8

Funny story: UK Bookies Odds on Harry Potter Book 8

England; Bookie giant Ladbrokes have opened a book, so to speak, on Harry Potter. "Well," explained CEO Jock Crooks, the London shrewdies made a mint out of the Potter thing, a marketing success that is right up there with Coca Cola. Bloomsbury a...

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