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Funny story: To Explain Recent Actions of Trump Administration, Sean "Melissa" Spicer Claims: Liberal Scientists & Media Secretly Placing Optical Implants Into The Eyes of Americans to Alter Reality

To Explain Recent Actions of Trump Administration, Sean "Melissa" Spicer Claims: Liberal Scientists & Media Secretly Placing Optical Implants Into The Eyes of Americans to Alter Reality

Today, press secretary Sean "Melissa" Spicer, (best known for his irrational and paralyzing fear of young girls from the ages of 2-7, a serious medical condition known as acute pediaphobia), controversially claimed: "Liberal scientists, funded by...
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Funny story: The Grim Reaper to Attend President-elect Donald Trump's Inauguration

The Grim Reaper to Attend President-elect Donald Trump's Inauguration

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Trump spokesperson and Slytherin wannabe Kellyanne Conway announced today on FOX News that the Grim Reaper would be attending President-elect Trump's Inauguration on January 20. Explained Mrs. Conway, through her forked tongue: "Y...
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Funny story: GOP To Kill Thousands Of Sick People

GOP To Kill Thousands Of Sick People

CHICAGO TRIBUNE Recent studies indicate that Obamacare (The Affordable Care Act) has saved thousands of lives and prolonged the lives and decreased suffering of several millions. When asked about this, Paul Ryan said, "We're going to repeal i...
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Funny story: Trump Says U.S. Military Is Stupid But Beautiful

Trump Says U.S. Military Is Stupid But Beautiful

The United States has the most powerful military in the world and in 2015 spent more on the military than the next seven biggest-spending nations combined. For fiscal year 2015, military spending is projected to account for 54 percent of all fede...
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Funny story: Move To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States

Move To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States

31 states in the U.S. allow citizens to openly carry their firearms. In 10 of these states , someone who applies for welfare cash assistance through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) has to be screened and tested for substance abus...
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Funny story: The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter

The Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter

After staying up all night playing Russian Roulette with America, I spy with Russia, and sniff & tweet with some nasty girls, Donald Trump is in trouble again! His team of babysitters woke up to chaos at the crack of Trump which turned into more...
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Funny story: Trump Is Physically Restrained From Tweeting By His Campaign

Trump Is Physically Restrained From Tweeting By His Campaign

Donald Trump has been known for putting his unfiltered thoughts on Twitter at all hours. It is here that he excoriates people who have hurt his feelings. Over the years, he has issued a stream of cruel and unrestrained insults, savaging his rivals...
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Funny story: Donald Trump's Lincolnesque Moment

Donald Trump's Lincolnesque Moment

The following is a transcript from Donald Trump's speech at Gettysburg, October 22, 2016. Gettysburg, PA--Eleven score and seven gropes ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived by libertines, and dedicated to the pro...
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Funny story: Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines

Dead people joining protest movements and voter lines

New studies indicate large numbers of dead people are lining up to vote across the country in advance of November 8. Nigel J. Provender, president of CWS (Cadavers With Soul), is in one of these lines. He reveals that Mr. Trump's claim dead peo...
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Funny story: Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

On Wednesday night, democratic nominee for president Hillary Clinton used her time during the Commander-in-Chief Forum to talk about, among other things, national security, and how to confront ISIS, veteran's suicide, rape in the military, and taking...
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Funny story: GOP Leaders Open House of Prostitution

GOP Leaders Open House of Prostitution

Associated Press, by Manny Jack Moe --Republican leaders House Speaker Paul Ryan, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus have opened a house of ill repute near the famous Chicken Ranch in Nevada.
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Funny story: Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Spokespersons for Mr. Trump have rushed forward to clarify that Mr. Trump has absolutely nothing to do with the latest alarm concerning genitalia eating fish with human teeth. The pacu under scrutiny (related to the piranha) favors male genitalia...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

TRUMP HEADQUARTERS (that is, Trump's head)--Donald Trump today suspended his campaign after running out of adjectives aimed at his main demographic: Those who speak and write at the level of fourth graders. After "Crooked Hillary" began to get old,...
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Funny story: Trumps Emails Said To Be Hacked By Russian Spies Posing As Nigerian 'Prince'

Trumps Emails Said To Be Hacked By Russian Spies Posing As Nigerian 'Prince'

Russian agents posing as a Nigerian prince reportedly hacked GOP Presidential candidate Donald J Trump's private email address more than four months ago. However, unlike the recent Democrats National Committee breach which resulted in the release of...
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Funny story: GOP: We'll Impeach Bill If Hillary Takes Office

GOP: We'll Impeach Bill If Hillary Takes Office

Republicans see a bright side if Hillary Clinton becomes President, a second chance to impeach her husband. "Seeing Mr. Clinton face Congressional scrutiny will become the Senate's number one priority if she takes the White House" a spokesperson for...
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Funny story: Large toy Elephant built for GOP convention malfunctions and may not be ready in time

Large toy Elephant built for GOP convention malfunctions and may not be ready in time

A Host Committee representative for next week's GOP convention in Cleveland has indicated problems with upcoming ceremonies. The concept is brilliant, he explained, somewhat as with the old idea of the Trojan Horse, in which a large toy Elephant w...
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Funny story: GOP Members Stain Congressional Hearing

GOP Members Stain Congressional Hearing

Some Republican members of Congress who questioned FBI Director James Comey's handling of Hillary Clinton's emails were reportedly so excited for the opportunity they may have wet their pants during the proceedings. The source, a custodian working...
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Funny story: Little Turd who wouldn't flush to be honored at GOP convention!

Little Turd who wouldn't flush to be honored at GOP convention!

The New York Times revealed this morning that leaked memos from the GOP indicate that the Little Turd who wouldn't flush will be honored by Donald Trump at the upcoming GOP convention. GOP (Grand old Poop) to dedicate last evening at convention t...
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Breaking News...

Pink Loses Suit Against Manufacturer of "Lick Pink" Gear

"You can't complain about a parody that associates your brand with a sexual act if your brand is already named 'Like Pink,'" said the judge in the case.
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