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Funny story: New Species of Homo Detected: Sapiens May No Longer Top the Food Chain

New Species of Homo Detected: Sapiens May No Longer Top the Food Chain

Scientists in the High Plains of America have discovered that the human family tree has many more branches and tangles than previously thought. DNA analysis from a group of humans heavier than Robustus, stouter than Australopithecus,-- and with more...
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Funny story: The World in 2012

The World in 2012

What will the world be like in 2012? Now we have an idea, but in the past people could only wonder. In 1912, a group of leading scientists wrote a book about their predictions for the world 100 years into the future. Their conjectures cover everyday life, global politics, society and new inventions that may exist. The book, entitled "The World in 2012", was lost long ago but has recently been redi...
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Funny story: Current Inventions designed and being produced in Nottingham for 2012

Current Inventions designed and being produced in Nottingham for 2012

Nottingham, has such a high level of conceptual, theoretical, and studious citizens. It is no surprise to us that it currently has the top six 'Beneficial' inventions being worked on. Our panel of representationally selected Nottingham bred intellectuals, and unemployed benefit seekers assess the chances of success for each project. Assessment Panel: Baxter D Wall (Unisex barber-shop manage...
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Funny story: What will teaching be like in 2035?

What will teaching be like in 2035?

Teachers who are currently forty-five years of age will still be teaching in 2035 aged sixty-eight. At least those who make it will. This makes it highly relevant to ask what teaching will be like when they finally limp over the retirement finish line. The Spoof contacted futurologist James Randi, and asked him. "The teaching profession was remarkably resistant to change for centuries," said...
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Funny story: I see The Future and It Will Be...

I see The Future and It Will Be...

Okay, I missed on more than a few of my 2011 predictions, but came close on so many others. Again taking my cue from other media prognosticators, here are my predictions for 2012. Just like last year, my predictions are brought to you by Miss Cleo and Crandall's New and Used Crystal Balls, of Locust Ridge, Louisiana, and our new sponsor, Gorgon's House Of Backdoor Lubricants. FOR SCREEN DOOR USE...
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Funny story: Life after the shift - a message from the near future.

Life after the shift - a message from the near future.

The Shift affected the previous citizens of the United States of America the most, as they all became stateless when the United States became disunited. A few relics of their previous culture stand out like sore thumbs all over the world, but these Embassy and Consular buildings have been modified into holiday camps and are now major tourist attractions, much like Auschwitz. The remaining fe...
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Funny story: Memories of 2050 from 2090

Memories of 2050 from 2090

Published in aid of the Outer Peruvian Pregnant Kangaroo Appreciation Society, Nottingham Branch. We have obtained from our Futurist Predictor, Mr I Seeitall, a list of comments passed on to the young of 2090, about the year 2050, for your entertainment, perusal, and education. We hope these revelations will assist you all in your future sospital, and will be soloecal to all. Mr Seei...
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Funny story: Future News: Republicons to Fire Teachers, Firefighters, Public Sector Workers

Future News: Republicons to Fire Teachers, Firefighters, Public Sector Workers

(Published 2013) CYBERTRON, D.C. - After a landslide 'victory' last year by the Republicons - a partnership between the Decepticons and the GOP - has renamed the capital and several large cities after Decepticons, including Megatronica (former New Yo...
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Funny story: Future News: NHS, Education Only Things Left Nationalised

Future News: NHS, Education Only Things Left Nationalised

(Published 2028) BIRMINGHAM CAPITALIS - The new government - only a week old - has decided to privatise everything, except education and health. The Conglomeracy Party - a party by transnationals, for transnationals - achieved a near 2:1 win over...
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Funny story: Future News: World Ends on Saturday

Future News: World Ends on Saturday

(Published in five hours) EARTH/EMPTY SPACE - The 6.9bn humans on the planet saw their entire planet end today. Earth, which has had a long history of several million years, ended after a giant instability in the Earth's core did some 'weird shit...
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Funny story: Future News: No to PR Side Just as Stupid as 2011's No to AV Side

Future News: No to PR Side Just as Stupid as 2011's No to AV Side

(Published 2031) BIRMINGHAM URBEM - It is only one week before local elections in England, and the PR referendum. Both sides of the debate are gearing up for major campaigning for the battle. None more so than the No camp. However, political exper...
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Funny story: Future News: Britain's Got Talent Panel Replaced by JudgeBots

Future News: Britain's Got Talent Panel Replaced by JudgeBots

(Published 2016) LONDON URBEM - After the Great Media Crash of 2012, many studios are cutting back. ITV's Britain's Got Talent is no different. This year, the show will replace the judges on the panel with Panasonic JudgeBots, running Google's A...
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Funny story: Future News: Public Spending to Be Supplemented With Ads, Product Placement

Future News: Public Spending to Be Supplemented With Ads, Product Placement

(Published 2030) LONDON (CO-SPONSORED BY MICROSOFT. MICROSOFT, LIFE WITHOUT WALLS) - The new government, consisting of various transnationals, have allowed public spending to increase due to the effect of product placements and ads plastered across p...
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Funny story: Future News: Scotland Seceeds from United Kingdom

Future News: Scotland Seceeds from United Kingdom

(Published 2014) EDINBURGH - A referendum by the Scottish National Party (SNP) has found out that 70% of Scotland want to become independent from the United Kingdom. However, Scotland has been fast-tracked to join the European Union (EU), and will...
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Funny story: Future News: Conservatives Win Election with 34% of Votes

Future News: Conservatives Win Election with 34% of Votes

(Published 2015) LONDON - The results of this years UK General Election are in, and a shocking revelation has occurred. The Conservatives have won power over the United Kingdom of England Wales and Northern Ireland, even though they got over a thi...
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Funny story: Future News: Shopping Planet Developed

Future News: Shopping Planet Developed

MERCATUS ORBIS - Earthic Colony Planet #12A, or, Mercatus Orbis (Latin for Trading World), has finally opened. Taking a record 21 months to terraform, and 2 weeks to lay powerlines, internet, docking stations, and buildings, Mercatus will be open...
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Funny story: Future News: Aston Villa Wins Something

Future News: Aston Villa Wins Something

Published 2167 - LAYER-456 BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - Aston Villa, a Premier League team, have won the cup for the first time in living memory. "The game of football hasn't changed over the past 150 years," said the manager, Robert Casio Cord. "We thought...
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Funny story: How The World Will End: A Bleak Look Towards Man's Destiny

How The World Will End: A Bleak Look Towards Man's Destiny

The year is 2014. Many things have happened between now and then. Most of them not pretty. Stan Grimshaw was ready. He had read all the books, seen the movies. He was prepared for any eventuality. His friends told him he was mad for stockpiling every tinned foodstuff known to man. He spent hours pondering over each purchase, looking for the longest possible shelf life available. Soups,...
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Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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