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Funny story: On A Lighter Note: More People Are Being Cremated Today!

On A Lighter Note: More People Are Being Cremated Today!

"Lighter note huh? You news people think the whole world is one big happy home don't you? Well, I deal day in and day out with dead people and cleaning them up, placing a cotton ball with alcohol up their wazzoo and draining them dry so what so humorous about that?" After telling Mr. Clay we only were there to ask him and his staff.. "Did you say 'Stiff'?" "No. I said staff. The people wh...
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Funny story: Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

A man has amazed doctors and workers at a hospital by waking up after being declared dead two days before. The family had waited till several family members could arrive to hold the funeral in Nairobi, Kenya. Meanwhile a worker at the morgue b...
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Funny story: Nelson Mandela to be buried in portions to give everyone a chance to attend funeral

Nelson Mandela to be buried in portions to give everyone a chance to attend funeral

Nelson Mandela is to be buried in 365 separate "portions" to enable well wishers to each have a chance to attend his sell-out funerals. Advertising slots for the year long T.V. funeral coverage have been fully booked since before he died. Merchandisi...
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Funny story: Vicar Leads Funeral Flash Mob

Vicar Leads Funeral Flash Mob

Recently deceased Trevor Endeavor got his loved ones dancing in the aisles by putting a twist on his traditional funeral service. Fun-loving Trevor found the perfect partner to make his dreams of a Thriller-themed funeral come true - The Rever...
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Funny story: Convicted war criminal scrounges free funeral for mum

Convicted war criminal scrounges free funeral for mum

A man convicted for his part in an attempted coup in Equatorial Guinea has managed to get a lavish funeral for his mother on the Tax Payer. Mark Thatcher who backed the 2004 coup led by close friend Simon Mann has managed to get a £15m ceremonial...
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Funny story: London Marathon Cancelled

London Marathon Cancelled

The 2013 Virgin London Marathon due to be run this Sunday has been cancelled at short notice. The event which raises millions of pounds for charity as well as being a showcase for top international athletes has fallen victim to a lack of available po...
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Funny story: Lady Thatcher not buried

Lady Thatcher not buried

Lady Thatcher will not be buried in the foreseeable future minister's claim. Several noted undertakers have been contracted but have returned the body without explanation. A countrywide search has been made to find a funeral service willing to...
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Funny story: Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

Local Man Threatens Scathing You Tube Skit Following Funeral Fiasco

A local man has threatened to respond to what he described as "the ultimate insult" by performing in a You Tube skit - impersonating his own brother. And making him look a right 'twat'. Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and pioneering satir...
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Funny story: Funeral car caught speeding on by-pass

Funeral car caught speeding on by-pass

A speed trap captured a hearse doing a very nippy 107 mph along a dual carriageway near Slough. Traffic wardens had spotted it earlier doing 50mph along a street with 'Dead Slow' signs. When stopped and questioned by police officers, the driver of...
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Funny story: Local Man Describes Meeting With Funeral Director

Local Man Describes Meeting With Funeral Director

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, still in a state of mourning following the death of his father last week, today described how he visited a funeral director in order to make arrangements for the impending cremation. "I went to the registraer's office yesterday to register the death," Shuttlecock said. "They give you a green sheet which confirms certification of death, and grants legal permission...
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Funny story: Funeral Reawakening strikes fear into those nearest to us

Funeral Reawakening strikes fear into those nearest to us

A funeral in Brazil was held up as a woman claimed the corpse had squeezed her hand. Maria Neymar Ronaldo Cesar said: "I leant in to say goodbye to Grandmamma and she squeezed my hand. I shouted for them to switch the furnace off and we called a a...
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Funny story: Quentin Kelp MP - My Funeral Arrangements

Quentin Kelp MP - My Funeral Arrangements

Dear Constituents I have had a hectic but very depressing few days that has left me questioning my policy towards a certain subject that I normally try not to contemplate - death. I'm sorry to sound morbid first thing on a morning but I need to share some most private thoughts with you so please don't forward this email without my permission. I wouldn't want any old Tom, Dick or Harry thinki...
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Funny story: Funeral homes: the new Starbucks

Funeral homes: the new Starbucks

In the midst of dwindling sales at home and stiff competition from other coffee shop chains, Starbucks management have recently turned to growth regions such as Asia to open up new stores while closing several existing shops in North America and Euro...
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Funny story: Funeral Directors in York chase down Coffin Dodgers

Funeral Directors in York chase down Coffin Dodgers

Due to shortage of new business, Funerals Directors in York have been seen "chasing down" the elderly. One survivor Beryl Chestnut, 84, of Gusset Close spoke of their actions... "I was just planning to visit my sister, who only lives 184 yards...
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Funny story: Dead Junkie Snarls Traffic In Newark, NJ

Dead Junkie Snarls Traffic In Newark, NJ

Those who are compelled to drive through the streets of Newark, whether to go to work, buy cheap meth, or --God forbid-- go home will find traffic ground hopelessly to a halt, this is in the wake of a funeral for a known drug abuser who died last wee...
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Funny story: No state funeral as Mrs Thatcher 'vows to go private'

No state funeral as Mrs Thatcher 'vows to go private'

London - A Sellafield recycling dump has been earmarked for scattering the horrid harridan's ashes in an updated funeral plan released today. Austere economic times have crushed Tory dreams of a state send-off with a a low profile toasting at Gold...
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Funny story: Senior citizens stoned after ingesting pot brownies, hauled off to hospital for no good reason

Senior citizens stoned after ingesting pot brownies, hauled off to hospital for no good reason

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif.--Three senior citizens attending a funeral reception sampled brownies that they'd never forget--or perhaps they have forgotten actually. Among the ingredients used in the brownies: medicinal marijuana. According to sources...
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Funny story: Golders Green Crematorium send-off for Amy on Tuesday

Golders Green Crematorium send-off for Amy on Tuesday

London - The Crem-de-la-Creme of the entertainment industry's famous farewell venues will host tomorrow's final goodbye to North London diva Amy Winehouse. The Italianate-style Hoop Lane, NW11 facility has seen off Britain's finest including showb...
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Breaking News...

Simpsons Show to Kill Off Bart Simpson

"You could say the whole Bart concept was getting old, but actually we just couldn't take Nancy Cartwright's Scamatology ravings any longer" spoke the show's producers.
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