Dead seafood caught off Japan's Fukushima coastline went on sale to a village inhabited by Zombies.
Those are the same Zombies that worked in the famous movie, "Dawn of the Dead." After the filming was done, the Zombies were shipped to Japan to r...
TOKYO - The first seafood caught off Japan's Fukushima coastline since last year's nuclear disaster went on sale Monday, the biggest seller being the 800 pound and 50ft shrimp and the glow in the dark Octopus with 16 tentacles.
Flying Flounder...
San Francisco - The local chamber of commerce announced today that the new, glowing sushi being served at local eateries is very beneficial, especially for cancer patients. According to chair, Dr. Bunhardschmit, the radiation consumed in the sushi...
Springfield, PA-- Bizarre mutated produce from Fukushima Japan has begun appearing in local grocery stores. Nightmarish food created from the world's worst nuclear disaster is being sold to consumers. The government says there is no radioactivity,...
Fukushima, Japan-- There's a new honeymoon spot for lovers, waiting across the sea. It's called Fukushima, Japan--and it offers empty beaches, romantic scenery and that extra special radioactive touch for all newlyweds. Fukushima is for lovers!...
New York, NY-- There's great news tonight about the nuclear accident in Fukushima Japan. Government scientists are reporting that nuclear radiation from the meltdowns has now entered into the bodies of every person on the planet. The average person...
TOKYO - The emperor of Japan has announced that Japan will be "Moving to Mars" by 2020. According to sources close to the emperor's secret compound, the plan to move Japan to Africa was foiled by huge insects that terrified Japanese school children...
Tokyo - Jesus was born inside a nuclear fast breeder reactor according to Japanese sources which have placed the Fukishima 'stable' on the conservation 'at risk' register.
Fallout specialists said today some historical corrections may be needed to...
The disaster at Fukushima, that saw much of the East coast of Japan destroyed and millions left homeless, is to be dramatised in a new musical production it was announced today.
The all-star cast will include Justin Bieber as the forty-three year...
There is more bad news for the Japanese as it has been discovered that the radiation from Fukushima's destroyed reactor is affecting the way nearby residents create cholesterol.
"At first," said Professor Ann Hetty who was leading the study, "we t...
Japanese marine experts who have been studying the effects to Japan's marine life following the nuclear disaster at Fukushima earlier this year, have found that one fish that swims in it's coastal waters, the 'hokkidokki' loco flumo, or 'dancing fish...
NAGASAKI - Nuki sports corporation spokesman Isukagolf Nevigotapar, announced to a stunned, if not slightly radioactive crowd that it has launched a new line of nuclear powered golf balls.
The plutonium core ball actually goes critical when struck...
Washington, DC - The Department of Agriculture is warning consumers of a new threat in the produce aisle this summer. Flesh-eating tomatoes have been reported in dozens of cities across the country. No deaths have been recorded, but many people hav...
Fukushima - Thousands of farm animals, according to my source, Mr. Sukucowteata, a farmer here, are slowly dying in the "no go" zone 20 kilometers around the death-spewing Fukushima reactor. Pigs on automatic feeding machines are slowly dying and up...
Fukushima - According to my source, Cher's hairdresser, Cher is traveling to Japan now to award the Cher Nobel prize to the Fukushima management team.
The prize goes to the nuclear accident of greatest proportion and drama, and is only awarded whe...
Mount Midoriyam Japan - The Nimca Worrier studio set is being spiced up with even more dangerous obstacles, from the tsunami.
Long time all-star Nimca Worrier, Mr. Nimca Worrier, our source, has the inside information on the new obstacles. The c...
Washington DC - My source, a.k.a. Bill, in the IRS, jubilant over the averted government shutdown, revealed to me after five Black Russians, that the IRS will start taxing Americans on the 'beneficial' radiation that they are subjected too as a resul...
Fukushima - TEPCO workers have finally stopped the leaks at the Fukushima reactor site, thanks to Ronald Cole, automotive expert. According to the foreman on the night shift this evening, Mr. Isukasumo, it was thanks to a magazine article that advis...