Portsmouth - A ouija board reading at the Admiralty tonight voiced fears about the Brits' new kick-ass boat HMS Daring being seized by Somali pirates on Friday the 13th.
The Type 45 destroyer left Portsmouth this morning bound for the turbulent, o...
Indonesia - She was informed early as the 7.3 magnitude tremor struck 423km (262 miles) south-west of Banda Aceh at an estimated depth of 29.1 km (18.1 miles) triggering an official tsunami warning along the Pacific Ring of Fire.
Courtiers said to...
Baltic Sea - "OMG! Tell me this isn't an omen!" a Clarence House flunkey wailed as news that a passenger cruise liner named The Devil And Kate was being towed to port following a massive internal power failure.
The 856-cabin vessel, originally the...
Say-Shells - A cliched twist on the old 'Did the earth move for you, darlin?' is rattling the newlyweds, a tremor-watch conspiracy site said today.
The royal pair's Seychelles honeymoon isle 'could see a massive tidal surge this weekend' TinFoilH...
Rome - (Jesus Wept News): A 'spolier' prediction by cabinet-maker and amateur seismologist Raffaele Bendandi has rattled the Vatican.
The wannabe seer reckoned that today, May 11th's astrological alignments would spark the Big One, razing the Eter...
Several astronomers are coming right out and telling people to be extra careful this Friday the 13th due to the fact that in addition to the 13th falling on a Friday this month, another more sinister event will be happening in the skies that night-a...
Given the potential portents of venturing out on Friday the 13th, one unnamed accident prone writer for satirical website theSpoof.com has announced that he is taking no chances over the great Winchester meeting scheduled for portentous Friday the 13...
Leaked information received by Skoob News Inc appears to suggest that a secretive sub-sect of TheSpoof.com writers is all set do descend on the ancient and historic city of Winchester, on Friday 13th, to seek the Holy Grail.
It is thought that the...
US President Barack Obama today promised to end the superstition surrounding Fridays that fall on the thirteenth day in a month.
'People', he said, 'let us take it into our hearts, and let us move forward. Let us just say to one another, we can do...
Friday The 13th, the latest edition of the Slash Opera has packed theaters like no other this past President's Day weekend, scoring an estimated $42.2 million from Friday to Sunday. Final numbers and standings should be out by Wednesday.
Elsewhere...
Britain is once again grinding to a halt as a nation, as the most traumatic few weeks in this proud nation's history plod gracelessly to an impossibly sombre denouement.
We have the credit crunch, we had the snow, we had the ice, we had the rain,...
Space - (Ominous Mess): World leaders' shattered nerves were dealt yet another blow today with the news that US and Russian communications satellites collided in space after crossing Comet Lulin's earthbound trajectory.
The American Iridium satell...
London - (X-Files Mess): A highly noxious comet replete with Zyklon-B isotopes is on a Friday 13th February collision course with the UK shipping scrapyard charged with scuttling the toxic French aircraft carrier Le Clemenceau.
Comet Lulin had be...
Windsor - (Alien Mess): An ominous-looking 'Grim Reaper' craft was seen emerging from a secret Transylvanian site today close to Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's secret tunnel network, heading directly towards its mothership hangar beneath Wind...
Pratts Bottom Barracks - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): In what hystery will come to remember as the Hellfire Club's Curse of Friday the 13th, the Pretender to the Throne's elder son William has announced he has dumped girlfriend Kate Middleton and shack...