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Funny story: Fracking dislodges White House mole colony amid sudden exodus to US Treasury building

Fracking dislodges White House mole colony amid sudden exodus to US Treasury building

Washington - The post of Official White House Mole Catcher has just been made redundant according to Big Oil drone footage around Pennsylvania Avenue. A series of seismic jerks in the DC area - and no, we're not talking Kerry Kennedy this time! -...
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Funny story: Denver 4/20 Pot Festival releases more green house gasses than entire Colorado fracking industry

Denver 4/20 Pot Festival releases more green house gasses than entire Colorado fracking industry

Denver, Colorado - An estimated half a million happy puffers at Denver's first entirely legit 4/20 marijuana festival were accused of wanton destruction of the earth's ozone layer today. World Fracking Council inspectors on a comparison exercise m...
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Funny story: NASA Lunar Rover sends pics of Sea of Tranquility fracking rig

NASA Lunar Rover sends pics of Sea of Tranquility fracking rig

Nevada Desert - Lunar archaeologists at NASA's Area 51, Roswell HQ are studying images of what looks like a perfectly preserved antediluvian fracking rig parked on the crude-rich Mare Tranquillitatis basin. Dozens of pictures relayed by satellite...
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Funny story: U.S. Hit By Record Earthquakes, Tremors & Volcano Activity

U.S. Hit By Record Earthquakes, Tremors & Volcano Activity

Although the size of the earthquakes are not too large, except the one in Los Angeles, the United States has been shaken by a record number of quakes and aftershocks this past month. Other parts of the world have been hit hard also so what is goin...
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Funny story: Mossad truth serum fracking exercise scheduled under Occupied Territories

Mossad truth serum fracking exercise scheduled under Occupied Territories

Tel Aviv - The hydraulic fracturing of rocky deposits close to the 1949 Armistice 'Green Line' using pressurized liquid truth serums is under consideration by Israel's secret service according to reports out today. Months of satellite imagery int...
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Funny story: Oil Company's Well Explodes So It Gives Out Pizza

Oil Company's Well Explodes So It Gives Out Pizza

A Chevron well in the preparation stages for hydraulic fracturing exploded last Tuesday 50 miles south of Pittsburgh, Penn., causing a fire that lasted for four days and left one Chevron contractor unaccounted for and another one injured. Fracking...
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Funny story: Protests as Oil shale deposits under the UK mean widespread frotting

Protests as Oil shale deposits under the UK mean widespread frotting

Oil reserves in shale deposits underneath 90% of the U.K. can be extracted cheaply and would boost the economy of the country beyond our wildest dreams, said an energy spokesperson this morning. "But by the time everybody has stopped whingeing and ob...
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Funny story: Enormous Fracking Spaceship to Set Sail for the Open Blue of Uranus Next Sunday

Enormous Fracking Spaceship to Set Sail for the Open Blue of Uranus Next Sunday

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - NASA, BP, Big Bob's Cheeseburgers, Jack Daniels, Coca-Cola, and Exxon have teamed up to send a sophisticated fracking operative to venture to Uranus. With any luck, the colossal spaceship holding fracking equipment and a full c...
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Funny story: We like Fracking and We like to Frack

We like Fracking and We like to Frack

Another day another punning newspaper headline about shale gas extraction. The industry has been a godsend for copywriters everywhere. Said one fleet street hack, "the great thing about Fracking is that it's possible to replace the word 'fuck', with...
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Funny story: PM Has Message from God

PM Has Message from God

In an extraordinary revelation, Prime Minister David Cameron has described a recent visit he has had from God. 'It was an amazing mystical experience' he told journalists on the beach at a Cornish seaside resort. Eager hacks, including yours tr...
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Funny story: People weigh less in Blackpool after Fracking test

People weigh less in Blackpool after Fracking test

The Iconic Blackpool Tower, the symbol of release for the Working Man, is two inches taller today after a Fracking experiment just outside Blackpool. "We think that some of the gravity in Blackpool has leaked out," said Guy Gordon, an anti-frackin...
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Funny story: "Fucking" Gets Green Light from Government

"Fucking" Gets Green Light from Government

The controversial means of finding gas - known as "fucking" - is being given encouragement by the Government. Vice Cable, Energy Supremo, is giving all "fucking" providers a tax refund on all their explorations and those communities allowing "fuck...
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Funny story: Opponents of Fracking say the country might sink if it's allowed

Opponents of Fracking say the country might sink if it's allowed

Opponents to the controversial gas extraction technique, Fracking, have brought forward a remarkable conclusion to their biggest study to date. "If we extract the gas from the shale in the UK the country will sink," said Pierce Green, spokesperson...
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Funny story: Whale gas could heat homes in two years

Whale gas could heat homes in two years

Britain's poorest homes could be using whale gas extracted by brave fisherman within two years. The technique, which has been blamed for causing minor tsunami, earthquakes and blow-backs around Blackpool, remains controversial. The biggest whal...
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Funny story: Residents Getting Fracked Off

Residents Getting Fracked Off

Shale gas extraction through fracking has caused a lot of concern for residents in areas where drilling for shale gas has been given the go-ahead. Freckleton, a village on The Fylde near Preston in Lancashire has been the latest victim of Cuadrill...
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Funny story: Space firm reveals plans to mine hemorrhoids

Space firm reveals plans to mine hemorrhoids

Washington - A US space company is planning to carpet-bomb a deep space anomaly known as the Arsehole of the Universe. The alien swelling is located somewhere inside a massive black hole on a Brown Dwarf close to the constellation of Taurus the Bu...
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Funny story: Whiff of 'Drill, Baby, Drill' in House of Lords departure lounge bar

Whiff of 'Drill, Baby, Drill' in House of Lords departure lounge bar

London - Jolly oligarchs everywhere are betting on a boom in UK shale gas extraction amid an unprecedented mass exodus of members of the House of Lords for 'up yours, Clegg and Cameron' jobs in the 'City'. Prime Minister David Cameron initially ex...
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Funny story: Frick Fingers Fracking For 4 Hour Erection

Frick Fingers Fracking For 4 Hour Erection

BILLINGSGATE POST - Frank Frick of Odessa, Texas, an oil-rig worker, claims that his work as a pipe fitter on a fracking drilling rig caused him an embarrassing 4 hour erection that required him to be air-lifted to an emergency center. Frick, who...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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