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Funny story: English Premier League kicks off with a hangover!

English Premier League kicks off with a hangover!

After months of waiting, starving and going insane watching repeats of Eastenders, at last the English Premier League kicks into action once again! Lineker has followed the bucks, which has left the Beeb having to search for a new sonny boy. T...
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Funny story: FIFA World Cup 2018 Relocated

FIFA World Cup 2018 Relocated

"????? ??? ??? ???? ??????", squeals local survey participant Due to new surveys that have taken place in Russia FIFA has decided to relocate the 2018 World Cup to America. Russia has many activists and FIFA fears that enraged, violent Russian fan...
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Funny story: Liverpool reject and flop, Balotelli, joins Man United!

Liverpool reject and flop, Balotelli, joins Man United!

With the transfer market offcially open a sensational transfer has just hit the headlines in the UK, Balotelli joins United! Transfers between the arch rivals are very seldom and only an ancient Irish defender, Noel Cantwell, ever ventured between...
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Funny story: Father and Son Watch the Cup Final on Telly

Father and Son Watch the Cup Final on Telly

Young nine-year old Sean and his dad Pat are seated together on a sofa in their living room watching the UEFA European Cup Final between Barcelona the hot favourites and Juventus on the tele. The boy balances a football on his knees. With five minutes left in the game and the scoreline 2-1 to Barcelona dad's nerves, like his finger nails, are frayed. The following conversation takes place. Dad...
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Funny story: Roman rubbish dump reveals secrets of football networks

Roman rubbish dump reveals secrets of football networks

Florida - FBI forensic sleuths are probing the biggest dump ever discovered of Roman Abramovich's rubbish and related GazPogrom Bank crap. Over five tons of yacht garbage have been recovered from the oligarch's ocean-going runabout in an operatio...
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Funny story: Sepp Blatter wins Nobel Prize for Obliviousness

Sepp Blatter wins Nobel Prize for Obliviousness

Amid a whirlwind of allegations against FIFA, the world football authority, its Secretary-General received a rare piece of good news. In a private ceremony held earlier today, Sepp Blatter was awarded the 2015 Nobel Prize for Obliviousness. The a...
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Funny story: Hull Housewives Getting Jittery Over Tigers' Relegation Tussle

Hull Housewives Getting Jittery Over Tigers' Relegation Tussle

The end of yet another English Premier League season is upon us, and even though the title race has been decided, there are still relegation issues to be settled. In amongst these are Hull City, whose fans, although still believing in their team's ab...
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Funny story: AFC Bournemouth Rule Out Complacency Ahead Of Crucial Last Game

AFC Bournemouth Rule Out Complacency Ahead Of Crucial Last Game

AFC Bournemouth, the little-known Southcoast football club that has its name quirkily back-to-front, have ruled out complacency in their final match, as they hover on the verge of promotion to the Premier League for the first time in their 116-year h...
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Funny story: Liverpool v Man United a tabloid's dream!

Liverpool v Man United a tabloid's dream!

The build up to this massive game is reaching 'white hot' as the tabloids pull out all the punches to sell their filthy newspapers, in fact any sensible football fan in Europe could or would never understand the mass hysteria surrounding this game of...
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Funny story: Farage to kick out Foreigners of National Game

Farage to kick out Foreigners of National Game

UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, went public today with his immigration spearhead, 'Boot out the Soccer Wetbacks'. Wetbacks is derogatory slang for illegal Mexican immigrants who attempted crossing the Rio Grande river into the US which originated from...
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Funny story: Man United employ secret weapon - a Llama

Man United employ secret weapon - a Llama

Louis van Gaal, much troubled Manchester United, double Dutch manager, has resorted to a drastic method of getting his lame (not Llama, not yet) team playing exciting football again. Although United are winning many games, LVG, just does not seem...
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Funny story: Italians racist? Never, ask Signori Sacchi!

Italians racist? Never, ask Signori Sacchi!

Prominent, ex-international soccer coach, Arrigo Sacchi claims there are too many black players in Italian soccer and this fact is undermining the true identity of Italy who generally are a bunch of racist morons, but do not like admitting it. They p...
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Funny story: Rooney Reveals Spring Fashion Wig

Rooney Reveals Spring Fashion Wig

Breaking news just in from Manchester Uniteds' Carrington training headquarters ahead of their FA cup clash with Lancashire rivals Preston North End.Star striker and England captain Wayne Rooney has revealed his spring edition hairpiece which he will...
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Funny story: Arsene Wenger defends Arsenal's proud principle of "losing"

Arsene Wenger defends Arsenal's proud principle of "losing"

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger took offence during yesterdays press conference after the loss to Stoke City in the Premier League, when a journalist criticised the club for losing the match 3-2. The French manager took issue with the journalist talki...
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Funny story: Christmas Puddings to be used in Seasonal Training

Christmas Puddings to be used in Seasonal Training

Manchester United, Liverpool, and Glasgow Celtic are to test- drive Christmas Puds instead of a leather ball, in December Training Sessions. Apart from the obvious festive aspect, the soft texture of the cooked sphere, will challenge...
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Funny story: The Secret England Footballer's Diary: Euro 2016 and Scotland

The Secret England Footballer's Diary: Euro 2016 and Scotland

Bench warmer. Fringe player. That's what the papers have been calling me ever since the debacle of our World Cup misadventure and I've got to admit it's true. Roy hasn't even had me in the squad for the matches against the Swiss cheese makers and th...
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Funny story: ISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage

ISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage

In a stunning development that bodes well for world peace as we approach this Christmas time, world famous football team Manchester United has revealed a recruiting drive aimed at Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of ISIS. A representative of Manchester...
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Funny story: West Ham Too Much For My Dodgy Heart

West Ham Too Much For My Dodgy Heart

Allardyce has been warned before - the displays recently of the Irons have been endangering the health of the team's fan base. Proof of this was when I was rushed to Hospital minutes before the game against Manchester City. It was not until I had...
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Breaking News...

Blue Balls Creamey Introduces Second New Ice Cream Flavor

Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria.
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