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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Where are they now? Winston Bogarde

Funny story: Where are they now? Winston Bogarde

Don't you just love this man? Well, maybe you haven't heard of him, unlike the Chelsea football fans to whom he is notorious, although they barely saw him. He had the most infamous contract in football. Our Dutch hero played for Ajax until 1998 when he signed for Barcelona, so he wasn't half bad, and played for Barça 19 times while they won La Liga and the Copa del Rey. On the advice of comp...

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The Secret England Footballer: World Cup Shambles, My Personal Roundup

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: World Cup Shambles, My Personal Roundup

By the time you read this, I'll be back in Blighty doing the biz with the owner's daughter again. Just what I need and so does she. We'll be off to Ibiza for some pre-season R&R shortly. Well, never let it be said that I didn't do my best for...

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Golden Shower Dampens World Cup Final Celebrations

Funny story: Golden Shower Dampens World Cup Final Celebrations

France and Croatia provided a stunning finale to the World Cup last night, and, in a wonderful show of footballing skills, the French ran out 4-2 victors. Sadly, there was an unfortunate footnote to the tournament, when an argument broke out over the...

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England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!

Funny story: England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!

Let the celebrations begin! The England football team, so often derided in the past and labelled 'disappointing' at major tournaments, have at last 'completed the job', 'delivered the goods', and, in one last pathetic strain for a brilliant flower...

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The Secret England Footballer: Croatia and Cretinous Decisions. I told you so.

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Croatia and Cretinous Decisions. I told you so.

You know I told you so. It's taken a day or two for me to get over my anger, but now I feel free to vent my spleen. Forget Gareth's M&S waistcoat, the penalty win over Columbia, slab head Maguire's goal, getting us to the semi-final and all th...

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England Still Have Everything To Play For

Funny story: England Still Have Everything To Play For

England manager Gareth Southgate knows that he has a tricky job on his hands to raise his troops for tomorrow's game with Belgium, but has buoyed them with the rallying call that: Everything is still to play for - except for the World Cup, that...

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Football's Forgotten Terrace Chant To Make Comeback

Funny story: Football's Forgotten Terrace Chant To Make Comeback

A chant that emerged at football grounds in the 1970s, and became popular all over England, Scotland and Wales, mutated and morphed into differently-worded chants, but then went out of fashion, is making a comeback, it has been reported. The chant...

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American Guy Tries to Act Like He Knows A Lot About Soccer

Funny story: American Guy Tries to Act Like He Knows A Lot About Soccer

An American guy who knows nothing about soccer got way too into the World Cup match between England and Croatia in an effort to seem cool and worldly to his dumb friends. He even used the word "gutted" to describe his feelings after the loss, know...

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Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

Funny story: Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

There was a strange lull and an eerie silence over the country on Thursday morning as England and its people tried to come to terms with the fact that the England football team were not going to win the World Cup. Again. Gareth Southgate's men wer...

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BBC Sports Commentator Sets Precedent by Using the Word "Unprecedented"

Funny story: BBC Sports Commentator Sets Precedent by Using the Word "Unprecedented"

Football fans were stunned and amazed while watching coverage of England vs. Colombia when commentator Simon Brotherton deliberately used the word "unprecedented". The BBC switchboard and Twitter account were overwhelmed by the response, including d...

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Sexism In Ladies Football Accusations

Funny story: Sexism In Ladies Football Accusations

Women who are also football fans are up in arms this morning at what they call the injustice of a team's description of themselves. They are angry that men's football teams make no 'gender distinction', and want to know why it is that women's tea...

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The Secret England Footballer: The Swedes and Me Looking Like a Turnip

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: The Swedes and Me Looking Like a Turnip

"Lack of egos" in this England team is apparently what people are saying. "Esprit de corps" and lack of egos is exactly right and that's what's wrong with this team. Nobody has the balls to stand up to "Mr. Southgate" and tell him where he's going wr...

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Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Funny story: Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles...

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World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

Funny story: World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

A series of events has plunged the World Cup in Russia into unprecendented chaos. An instruction to referees to punish players for clear serious infringements of the rules with yellow and red cards has resulted in previously overlooked fouls being...

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Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

Funny story: Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...

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Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

Funny story: Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...

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The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually

I'm penalty taker. Yes, I bloody am, really. Except for last night that is, thanks to that bastard "Mr. Southgate". I promise you, I am going to stick one on him soon. Look at it this way. There I am a seasoned professional among all these pretty...

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Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Funny story: Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders

Brazilian footballer Neymar has been wowing the crowds at the World Cup in Russia with some stunning performances, and 2 goals so far, but the fans are not the only people the 26-year-old has been impressing. Executives at the BBC have been meetin...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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