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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Usain Bolt Joins Grimsby Town

Funny story: Usain Bolt Joins Grimsby Town

Various news sources are this morning reporting that former World and Olympic sprint champion, Usain Bolt, has joined the League Two strugglers, Grimsby Town. The Jamaican 100m world record holder flew into Humberside Airport this morning, and, su...

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Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

Funny story: Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

The news that the government has reversed its decision to scrap the £50 note, has met with cheer, and a call from football fans to include upon the note the face of England player, Harry Maguire, the team's hero at the Russia World Cup. The note...

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Jamal Khashoggi Lucan Spotted Playing In Goal At Barking Rovers Match

Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi Lucan Spotted Playing In Goal At Barking Rovers Match

London, UK - There are reports this weekend that the self-styled Houdini-artiste may have ‘faked’ his disappearance at a Turkish bath somewhere in The Phosphorous - eh, Bosphorus - a bit like Lord Lucan in 1974. The news comes amid ‘sightings’ of...

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Where are they now? Gritty English Football Managers

Funny story: Where are they now? Gritty English Football Managers

You remember the days when managers had real football names? Ron, Gordon, Harry, Joe. What do we have now? Maurizio, Marco, Rafael, Nuno, Jose, even bloody Claude. Do me a favour. Where have they all gone? The Spoof has complied a list of favourites and rogues: Mike Bassett, England Manager. Erm, yes we know he doesn't actually exist apart from in the 2001 mockumentary of the same name where...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Under fire Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho made his feelings clear when told that he has been charged over comments he made in Portuguese to a TV camera after his side's win over Newcastle on 6 October. After consulting a lip reader, the FA s...

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FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

Funny story: FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

The Football Association has announced that, in order to "address the perceived unfairness in domestic football", it will introduce a new scheme whereby teams that 'should have won' will be awarded the three points. The scheme will be operated by...

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Man Admits He Had 'No Idea' Who Jadon Sancho Was

Funny story: Man Admits He Had 'No Idea' Who Jadon Sancho Was

A man reading a report on the football match played last night between Croatia and England, had to confess that he had no idea who Jadon Sancho was, and had never heard of the bloke. "I'd never heard of the bloke," he confessed. Moys Kenwood, 5...

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Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Funny story: Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Scotland head coach Alex McLeish urged his young players to show him they've "got a pair" against Israel on Thursday. After their shambolic defeat he apparently lined them all up in the dressing room and used calipers to measure their tackle before s...

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"Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Funny story: "Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, insists he can "cope with the manhunt" against him as he was forced to admit that Saturday's match against Newcastle was a fiasco, with his team 2-0 down after 10 minutes. Denying rumours that he had consu...

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John Terry 'Retires' From Football, To Disguise The Fact That Nobody Wants Him

Funny story: John Terry 'Retires' From Football, To Disguise The Fact That Nobody Wants Him

John Terry, the former Chelsea and England player, has announced his retirement from football, as nobody wants him anymore. Terry, 37, played more than 700 games for Chelsea, and won 78 England caps. He joined Aston Villa for the 2017/18 campaign,...

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Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

Funny story: Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

The sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, is that, after their worst start to a Premier League season for 29 years, Manchester United have put their manager, Jose Mourinho, into a sack. That is, he's been sacked - 'in my mind'.

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Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Following news that Manchester United faces UEFA charges over their late arrival for the Valencia home Champions League game, coach Jose Mourinho has been forced to deny that his team refused to leave the dressing room until he promised to say nice t...

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Cristiano Ronaldo Rape Case Is Payback For Wayne Rooney World Cup Sending-off

Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo Rape Case Is Payback For Wayne Rooney World Cup Sending-off

Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portuguese footballer currently playing in Italy for Juventus, is in trouble over an 'association' he had with a woman in the US in 2009. But do you remember him helping to get Wayne Rooney sent off in that England v. Portug...

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Football Gossip: Zaha, Mourinho, Luiz

Funny story: Football Gossip: Zaha, Mourinho, Luiz

Crystal Palace manager, Roy Hodgson is concerned at star player Wilfried Zaha's claim that "I will have to get my leg broken" before an opponent is sent off for fouling him. Hodgson is now inviting opposing defenders into the Palace dressing room for...

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Peter Crouch Disputes Jose Mourinho Claim That "No Player Is Bigger Than Club"

Funny story: Peter Crouch Disputes Jose Mourinho Claim That "No Player Is Bigger Than Club"

After the apparent controversy between manager Jose Mourinho and player Paul Pogba at the Manchester United training ground this week, and Mourinho's statement that "No player is bigger than the club", a protest has been lodged by Stoke City strike...

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Boot Throwing contest in Manchester goes viral

Funny story: Boot Throwing contest in Manchester goes viral

A brand-new sport, soon to be televised live all over the planet, has millions of followers already on social media and its founder members a not so 'Special One' and another not so 'Special One' are marketing the sport with impunity! The latest s...

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Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Funny story: Greedy Owner Blames Closure of Department Stores on Greedy Owners

Billionaire businessman Mike Ashley has blasted "greedy landlords" for the closure of several House of Fraser department stores. The Sports Direct and Newcastle United FC owner stepped in to buy the historical chain for £90 million when it looked...

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Manchester United Fan Is The 'Finished Article'

Funny story: Manchester United Fan Is The 'Finished Article'

A man who has supported Manchester United 'all his life', has claimed he is the greatest Reds fan of all time. The man, who can't be named due to the possibility he might be attacked by other crazed MUFC fans who think that they, themselves, are t...

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Trump warns that the brown people are coming. That’s not as bad as the orange person.
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