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Funny satire stories about Food Poisoning

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Funny story: Man Finds Lettuce From 1987 In His Refrigerator

Man Finds Lettuce From 1987 In His Refrigerator

Philadelphia, PA-- A local man is in the hospital tonight after eating something very old from the back of his refrigerator. Eddie Spaghetti apparently ate some lettuce that was purchased all the way back in 1987. The awful meal landed him in the IC...
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Funny story: Food Poisoning The Latest Weight Loss Craze in Hollywood

Food Poisoning The Latest Weight Loss Craze in Hollywood

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Some of the hottest celebrities in Tinseltown have been spotted with shopping carts full of expired foods from their local grocery stores in a strange effort to get on board the latest weight loss epidemic - food poisoning. Accord...
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Funny story: Now saddle of lamb removed from butchers' shelves

Now saddle of lamb removed from butchers' shelves

London - The horse flesh contamination scandal saw a new twist today as the EU ordered a raft of emergency foodstuff bans. From midnight tonight saddle of lamb is banned from all sales outlets along with 'polluted' items on greengrocery shelves.
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Funny story: Source Of Little Divot Food Poisoning Outbreak Revealed

Source Of Little Divot Food Poisoning Outbreak Revealed

'McNab's Kebabs' in the leafy village of Little Divot has been identified as the source of a recent food poisoning outbreak. Last Saturday night eight local clubbers were hospitalised after consuming kebabs following a night out at the 'Shit's and...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - City Health Inspectors rated the restaurant owned by Lady Gaga "at below 'C' level for 42 critical sanitation violations." The very best rating is "A." The report was released today and was actually a re-inspection of...
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Funny story: Cameron Tells Britain's Starving To Eat Dandylions, Clover, and Roadkill Pheasant!

Cameron Tells Britain's Starving To Eat Dandylions, Clover, and Roadkill Pheasant!

Reports from many inner city hospitals show they are now having to treat hundreds of people turning up at A&E suffering from food poisoning. The reason is thought to be directly linked to soaring food prices in the high streets with many starving...
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Funny story: Pulp Friction - Rob Schneider vs Samuel L Jackson

Pulp Friction - Rob Schneider vs Samuel L Jackson

Samuel L. Jackson star of such films as "Snakes on a Plane" and it's box office smash prequel "Rise of the Revenge of Bees on a Crane: This time Payback is Personal" abandons plans to construct a palace made entirely of human hair and egg boxes. B...
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Funny story: NHS hospitals cut costs by feeding patients with deadly expensive Asian foods!

NHS hospitals cut costs by feeding patients with deadly expensive Asian foods!

NHS hospitals are giving their patients foods which have travelled half way around the globe, are half-cooked, unfit for human consumption, but "lethally cost-effective". This new directive is a means of slashing costs drastically and creating a rapi...
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Funny story: Confusion and FEAR in the Vegetable Garden

Confusion and FEAR in the Vegetable Garden

The issue of colicumbers and whether they contained Spanish, German or Dutch diseases has been put on the compost heap where it is hotting up. With lettuces and tomatoes joining in the great FEAR factor eating any vegetables now has become more ri...
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Funny story: Women to put Condoms on Cucumbers

Women to put Condoms on Cucumbers

The relationship between humans and vegetables is a long and complex one. As many as 1 in 5 cucumbers are purchased for use not as food but as a sex toy. A fact that was possibly the best kept secret of the cucumber industry. However, the e-coli o...
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Funny story: Popeye Dead After Eating E.Coli Tainted Spinach

Popeye Dead After Eating E.Coli Tainted Spinach

The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs announced today that Popeye the sailor had died after eating spinach that was tainted with E. Coli bacteria. The USDA had issued warnings concerning possible bacterial exposure from tainted spinach a couple...
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Funny story: German Dioxin scandal hits Australia

German Dioxin scandal hits Australia

Eggheads in Germany at the Max Headroom Institute have identified that there might be implications of the Dioxin in eggs scandal far beyond the boundaries of Germany. A team of scientists has been sent to Australia in the latest bid to track down...
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Funny story: German Eggheads lose sense of humour due to Dioxin poisoning

German Eggheads lose sense of humour due to Dioxin poisoning

The recent egg poisoning case in Lower Saxony Germany has had far reaching consequences for the local German population including staff at the prestigious Max Headroom Institute for Parking Structures in Wiesleissen. The contamination of German eg...
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Funny story: Bad Outbreak of Delhi Belly in London

Bad Outbreak of Delhi Belly in London

A bad outbreak of dissentary mixed up with e-coli and alexsalmonella happened today in West London, and health and safety officials quickly traced it to The Bengal Lancer restaurant in Southall. The illness - nicknamed 'Delhi belly' due to the unp...
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Funny story: Ten Members of House of Lords Stricken With Food Poisoning

Ten Members of House of Lords Stricken With Food Poisoning

London, UK - A family who donated their deceased father's liver to medical science is sadden by the news that it ended up on the buffet table of the House Of Lords as a pâté during the Queen's birthday celebrations, causing ten members to become viol...
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Funny story: Celeb Chef: Is This The End?

Celeb Chef: Is This The End?

Following another outbreak of food poisoning at his restaurant, TV celebrity chef Harry Bummitall is facing potential ruin. His restaurant 'The Fat F*ck' has had its reputation destroyed. Well, once its menu was published it was all over. Bummital...
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Funny story: Millions Flee Ireland in Pork Famine

Millions Flee Ireland in Pork Famine

County Downwind, Ireland - This lush Irish countryside, once brown as far as the eye could see with pig farms, now lies empty and desolate in the wake of the recent devastating tainted pork recall. The Irish government has acted quickly to recall...
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Funny story: Food Poisoning Outbreak Downs School Staff and Students

Food Poisoning Outbreak Downs School Staff and Students

Smegmadale Asbo Central College for the Intellectually-Challenged was tonight placed under a quarantine order as Department of Health inspectors, garbed in bio-hazard suits, took samples from the school's kitchen and canteen to determine the cause of...
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