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Funny story: English Thug Punches Bag of Crisps at Euro 2016

English Thug Punches Bag of Crisps at Euro 2016

Following substantial unrest in Marseille and Lille, the scourge of English football hooliganism has reared its ugly head again in the city of Arras, Pas De Calais. The unsavoury incident occurred at approximately 11:15am in the central Leader Pri...
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Funny story: This Election: George H. W. Bush To Vote For Tapioca Pudding - "Hooray for Twinkies!" Exclaims Former President

This Election: George H. W. Bush To Vote For Tapioca Pudding - "Hooray for Twinkies!" Exclaims Former President

Shadow Lanes Senior Center - George Bush Senior announced today that in the Presidential election he would be voting for tapioca pudding. "I believe tapioca pudding can protect us from dust-bunny attacks." Stated Bush. "According to my magic belly...
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Funny story: Salad to Rebrand Itself as Hamburger

Salad to Rebrand Itself as Hamburger

In preparation for National Salad Month this May, less popular salad is rebranding itself as more popular hamburger. To aid in the transition, Salad has hired a marketing team to help with the rebrand. John Liberwitz, the head of Salad's mark...
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Funny story: Couple In Dismay After Discovering Fancy Italian Restaurant Does Not Have Endless Garlic Bread

Couple In Dismay After Discovering Fancy Italian Restaurant Does Not Have Endless Garlic Bread

Local couple Rob McLaughlin and Janet Edwards are celebrating their one year anniversary at Giorgio's, a high-end italian restaurant, and have just been informed by the server there is no endless garlic bread. Rob and Janet, after being seated for...
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Funny story: NC State Fair: Deep fried dog turds dipped in choclate & wrapped in bacon!

NC State Fair: Deep fried dog turds dipped in choclate & wrapped in bacon!

The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting today that the biggest attraction on the Food Court on opening day of the fair was: Deep fried dog turds dipped in chocolate and wrapped in bacon! The line stretched around the block as attendees waited to...
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Funny story: Allahuh Ak Bar opens in Bradford

Allahuh Ak Bar opens in Bradford

A new non-alcoholic kebab bar has opened in Bradford today specialising in vegetarian and gluten-free kebabs, although in an effort not to insult some potential customers, it won't be declared nut-free. Thought by cynics to be named after the hue...
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Funny story: Employers can confiscate and keep workers' unhealthy food under government rules for lunchbox inspections

Employers can confiscate and keep workers' unhealthy food under government rules for lunchbox inspections

Employers are free to take - and keep - any item from workers' lunchboxes if they think they are unhealthy or inappropriate, the government has said. Workers were outraged last month when it emerged their scotch eggs and a Peperami were confiscate...
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Funny story: McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

Los Angeles, CA - In an effort to keep up with the times and not slide down the grease sewer of bankruptcy, McDonald's is rolling out implementation of their latest marketing gimmick. "We've poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this project...
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Funny story: Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Top health officials have issued a warning to people not to put Toblerones in a fridge. They state that when the triangular chocolate bar becomes cold and hard it can become a "lethal weapon capable of damaging members of the public and even buildin...
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Funny story: Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

MONSANTO- responsible for Agent Orange, a deadly range of organ-damaging pesticides and genetically modified crops resulting in thousands of people crippled or killed by their products and the suicides of thousands of farmers worldwide (most in the p...
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Funny story: Hooters to put a giggle in servers' wiggle

Hooters to put a giggle in servers' wiggle

Under pressure from hairy-legged feminists, Hooters, a restaurant whose servers--young, nubile women in short shorts and abbreviated shirts emblazoned with the faces of owls whose eyes are "strategically positioned" to frame the wearers' breasts--is...
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Funny story: Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Lady Jenkin's speech telling poor people to eat the disgusting sloppy prison fodder known as porridge fell on deaf ears yesterday. The peer told the press conference, which was attended by the Pope and the archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, t...
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Funny story: Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Food industry giant Monsanto has announced that it will seek to genetically modify proposed food labeling laws so as to make them better able to withstand the powerful Monsanto-produced insecticide Roundup. In recent years, Monsanto has expended...
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Funny story: Congressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties

Congressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties

Washington D.C. - A recently concluded inquiry by a joint Senate and House committee has concluded that spending more money than you make could be a contributing factor to having financial difficulties. The inquiry lasted two years and cost an es...
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Funny story: The "For Real" Dining Experience

The "For Real" Dining Experience

A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
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Funny story: Vowel infection at city restaurant

Vowel infection at city restaurant

London's famous EAT IT bistro has temporarily closed, following the discovery of a rampant strain of Vowel virus VV-IB. The problem first became apparent when Head Waiter, Lefty Gonzales, noticed that several customers were served soap instead of...
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Funny story: First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

San Francisco - First Lady Michelle Obama has unveiled her latest plans for getting the nation to adopt her healthy eating guidelines and this one might hurt a bit. After tackling the country's school lunch program and transforming it into a train...
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Funny story: Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

New York City - Warner Bros. studio has announced plans to make a new movie called 'The Splurge' after the success of 'The Purge' films. But not everyone is happy about the idea. 'The Splurge' is about a 12-hour period one night each year when...
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