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Funny story: A fat man from Whales to marry Eleanor Rigby

A fat man from Whales to marry Eleanor Rigby

Whales- After gaining 120 pounds of weight and noticing that his new look had really turned heads, local man Nigel Smallwilly told reporter that he had recently stopped dieting and loved the results. "I ate a gallon ov ice cream, two whole pizza,...
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Funny story: Pornographic Restaurant Apologies For Putting Ketchup in Launch Chambers of Mayonnaise Dispensers

Pornographic Restaurant Apologies For Putting Ketchup in Launch Chambers of Mayonnaise Dispensers

Los Angeles - A trendy restaurant that features "LA's Most Erotic Dining Experience" apologized to customers in a full page Los Angeles Times Ad Wednesday. "We deeply regret," the ad stated "and vow never to allow to happen ever again, the hideou...
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Funny story: Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Top health officials have issued a warning to people not to put Toblerones in a fridge. They state that when the triangular chocolate bar becomes cold and hard it can become a "lethal weapon capable of damaging members of the public and even buildin...
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Funny story: Local Man Dies After Cooking Dinner For Wife

Local Man Dies After Cooking Dinner For Wife

Philadelphia, PA-- A South Philadelphia man is dead tonight after attempting to cook dinner for his wife. Police sources say it was the first time Mr. Spaghetti tried to cook anything. Mrs. Spaghetti had a heart attack after she learned that he...
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Funny story: Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

Monsanto: 'Chips' With That... Anyone?

MONSANTO- responsible for Agent Orange, a deadly range of organ-damaging pesticides and genetically modified crops resulting in thousands of people crippled or killed by their products and the suicides of thousands of farmers worldwide (most in the p...
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Funny story: Hooters to put a giggle in servers' wiggle

Hooters to put a giggle in servers' wiggle

Under pressure from hairy-legged feminists, Hooters, a restaurant whose servers--young, nubile women in short shorts and abbreviated shirts emblazoned with the faces of owls whose eyes are "strategically positioned" to frame the wearers' breasts--is...
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Funny story: Food banking crisis worsens

Food banking crisis worsens

In the last year food banks in the UK have increased lending four-fold, and now owe a debt greater than the value of the food banks themselves. Other countries have similar problems, but the UK is the centre of the European food banking industry. Con...
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Funny story: Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Lady Jenkin's speech telling poor people to eat the disgusting sloppy prison fodder known as porridge fell on deaf ears yesterday. The peer told the press conference, which was attended by the Pope and the archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, t...
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Funny story: Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Monsanto Seeks to Genetically Modify Food Labeling Laws

Food industry giant Monsanto has announced that it will seek to genetically modify proposed food labeling laws so as to make them better able to withstand the powerful Monsanto-produced insecticide Roundup. In recent years, Monsanto has expended...
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Funny story: Congressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties

Congressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties

Washington D.C. - A recently concluded inquiry by a joint Senate and House committee has concluded that spending more money than you make could be a contributing factor to having financial difficulties. The inquiry lasted two years and cost an es...
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Funny story: The "For Real" Dining Experience

The "For Real" Dining Experience

A high class restaurant has just opened its doors in Los Angeles. Catering for the Hollywood high rollers it stands by its guarantee that everything on the menu is "FOR REAL". Said proprietor Pesto Tortano who was once head chef in the Vatican kit...
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Funny story: Vowel infection at city restaurant

Vowel infection at city restaurant

London's famous EAT IT bistro has temporarily closed, following the discovery of a rampant strain of Vowel virus VV-IB. The problem first became apparent when Head Waiter, Lefty Gonzales, noticed that several customers were served soap instead of...
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Funny story: Bananas: from superfood to deadly killer

Bananas: from superfood to deadly killer

Bananas - once hailed as a wonderfood which could cure anything from hunger to diabetes, have been criticised for being one of the most deadly products in the world. That is according to new research by Professor Eric Mousa of the University of Oxbri...
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Funny story: First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

First Lady Wants to Hire Nuns to Discipline Unhealthy Shoppers

San Francisco - First Lady Michelle Obama has unveiled her latest plans for getting the nation to adopt her healthy eating guidelines and this one might hurt a bit. After tackling the country's school lunch program and transforming it into a train...
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Funny story: Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

Former NY Mayor Bloomberg, Michelle Obama Fight Release of Upcoming Movie, 'The Splurge'

New York City - Warner Bros. studio has announced plans to make a new movie called 'The Splurge' after the success of 'The Purge' films. But not everyone is happy about the idea. 'The Splurge' is about a 12-hour period one night each year when...
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Funny story: Manhattan Island Sinks Beneath Hudson

Manhattan Island Sinks Beneath Hudson

Due to the increase in beverage and meal portion sizes in restaurants, there was a noticeable increase in water levels around the island of Manhattan. The locals were too busy eating their XTRA-LARGE beverages and Big Macs to notice that their isl...
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Funny story: Royals Donate Their Dead Horses To Food Centres For The Poor

Royals Donate Their Dead Horses To Food Centres For The Poor

Dead nags, ponies and racehorses will be dragged to soup kitchens and refuges on Princess Annie's suggestion, it was revealed to our Royal correspondent this morning". "Watch this space" said the philanthropic Princess, "we may be sending grouse,...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Michelle Obama Vows to Defend Her School Lunch Program "Til the Bitter End"

Minneapolis - While it's not exactly a "Remember the Alamo!" battle cry, First Lady Michelle Obama is screeching that she will defend her signature school lunch program 'til the bitter end.' Ironically, this is how a majority of Americans view...
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Showing page 1 (of 37 pages)
Breaking News...

Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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