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Funny satire stories about Flowers

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Late Bloomer Decides to Be a Perennial

Funny story: Late Bloomer Decides to Be a Perennial

After over five decades of underachieving, cowering in corners, and, as she put it, “living life to the emptiest,” 52-year-old Lily Tower has decided that now is her time to blossom – and not just once a year, but in perpetuity. Lily explains that...

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The legendary life of Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp was a sometimes-lawman, sometimes-outlaw who sometimes owned a saloon and occasionally dealt cards or shot buffalo, depending on the economy and job market of the Territory (Indiana, Kansas, Nevada, Alaska, California) in which the itinerant jack of all trades happened to hang his hat on any given day. He went by a number of aliases, including Randolph Scott, Errol Flynn, Jimmy Stewa...

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Isle of Wight News - Flowerpot statue comes under fire

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Flowerpot statue comes under fire

The controversial new sculpture erected at the end of Ryde pier has come under even more fire from an unexpected source, the children's television programme Bill and Ben. "When we had that charity appeal in 1986 for people to send in spare flower...

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Prince Charles To Have Ear Operation!

Funny story: Prince Charles To Have Ear Operation!

It was announced yesterday from Clarence House that HRH Charles, The Prince of Wales is to enter the private St.Twinkle's Hospital in London's Park Lane early next month to have an operation to remove his ears. Following there removal from his head...

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All Night Garages To Impose £5 Surcharge On Flowers And Chocolates

Funny story: All Night Garages To Impose £5 Surcharge On Flowers And Chocolates

Bowing to pressure from feminist groups, the Federation of All Night Garage Owners (FANGO) have agreed to impose a £5 surcharge on each purchase of flowers or chocolates if purchased by an unaccompanied male. The all night garage has long been emp...

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Venus Flytrap and other carnivorous plants for Kate's bridal bouquet

Funny story: Venus Flytrap and other carnivorous plants for Kate's bridal bouquet

London - In a break with tradition Kate Middleton has chosen an array of flesh-eating flowers for her nuptial posy this Friday. A sneak preview sees Venus Flytrap (Dionaea Muscipula), exotic specimens of the pitcher plant family Heliamphora Chiman...

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Stench of the giant 'corpse flower' sourced to royal bouquet florist

Funny story: Stench of the giant 'corpse flower' sourced to royal bouquet florist

London - Fumes from the newly in bloom amorphophallus titanum - or the giant stinkhorn lily - have been traced to royal nuptial florists Belladonna Brothers of Barking. Named after Victorian era royal bicycle Lily Langtry, grandmother of Elizabeth...

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NY Mets May Get Flower Guy as Investor

Funny story: NY Mets May Get Flower Guy as Investor

Yep, that's right. The latest word is that there are a number of possible bidders with an interest in buying a minority stake in the NY Mets. Among them is James F. McCann, Chairman, CEO and founder of the well-known U.S. corporation, 1-800-Flowers.

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Blooming Time

In the garden of Eden, Lord God was holding the stem of a four-o'clock flower to examine its petals. Every now and then, he glanced at Man' children on planet earth. He could see the Adam's children were wearily walking towards the deep valley of total destruction. He heard them saying in unison 'LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground. Then at Adam's request, Lord made him a mate by ta...

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General Patraeus Announces Launch of Operation Afghan Daisy Chain

Funny story: General Patraeus Announces Launch of Operation Afghan Daisy Chain

WASHINGTON, D.C. - U.S. troops in Kandahar, the spiritual homeland of the Taliban, are preparing to launch what may very well be the most peaceful offensive yet in a conflict that has now lasted nearly nine years. Its aim is to weaken the grip of...

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Garden of Exotic Flowers

Flowers often smell pleasant. In fact, the fragrance is a cordial invitation sent to interested parties, such as humming birds or honey bees, to show up for a house warming party. Visitors after arrival in turn gently fondle the stamen of the plant. Of course, there is some nectar refreshment to go round. During this play, the bottle-shape stigma wide opens and receives the pollen to enter the...

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CSI: Floral

Funny story: CSI: Floral

Police arrested a thirty-four year old florist yesterday for the apparent motiveless murder of dad of five, Wong Pace Wong Tym. "We believe we have uncovered just the tip of the iceberg," said Detective Inspector Phil Inns. "In the interview, it t...

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Lots of Pretty Flowers at Ernest Keats Funeral

Funny story: Lots of Pretty Flowers at Ernest Keats Funeral

The Paducah Sun - Although Ernest Keats was a reasonably beloved member of at least half of his family, the floral arrangements at his Friday funeral service dominated conversation during the post-funeral all-you-can-eat buffet luncheon at the home...

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Tongue Orchids are Seducers , Scientists Say

Funny story: Tongue Orchids are Seducers , Scientists Say

Scientists agree that the Tongue Orchid uses it fragrance and pollen to attract bees who then help with pollination.

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Obama Campaign Chooses Official Flower

Funny story: Obama Campaign Chooses Official Flower

In an attempt to portray both a down to earth populism and find a metro sexual sensibility, the Obama campaign has named a campaign flower. The dandelion has been chosen to represent the ubiquitous nature of Barack's support, its resilient abilit...

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President Bush Declares War on Flowers

Funny story: President Bush Declares War on Flowers

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, President Bush declared a War on Flowers. President Bush made this announcement after learning that poppy fields are on the front line in Afghanistan.

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Buster and the Baby Angel, Chapter 19

Just when the original question of origin seemed like it would roll around the talented orifice of Ms Marlenya ad infinitum, the creature began to speak in a voice as soft as her floral petals but in a choral sound like fifty flowers speaking at once:...

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Andy Lam - Scientist

Funny story: Andy Lam - Scientist

Today, I was riding in my hot air balloon when I chanced look o’re the side with my spyglass. Far below (and yet seemingly near thanks to the special characteristics of the device’s optics) I espied two dogs frolicking in a grassy meadow. As the two scamps chased one another and tumbled through the spring flowers, I noted that they from time to time paused in their play to consume some chl...

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Breaking news…

Referendum To Ban And Remove Trump

Gosh, since Ireland was successful with their referendum to remove the ban on abortion, can the U.S. have a referendum to ban and remove Trump?
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