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Funny satire stories about Florida

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Funny story: Micheal Jordan Orders a Fleet of Lamborghini Golf Carts

Micheal Jordan Orders a Fleet of Lamborghini Golf Carts

Jupiter, Florida - If you only know two things about Micheal Jordan, it's that he likes to play basketball, and that he likes to play golf - and he likes to do both of these things, very fast! Since retiring from the basketball world, Micheal Jor...
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Funny story: Florida beach "the best," Beachcombers agree

Florida beach "the best," Beachcombers agree

It's not the location. Or the beautiful white sands. Or the ice-blue water. Or the spectacular, pristine scenery. It's not even the hospitable locals. Siesta Beach near Sarasota, Florida, has been named The Best Beach in America by Beachcombers, a...
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Funny story: South Florida mayors consider seceding from the United States to seek world relief from potential high tides and dangerous storms

South Florida mayors consider seceding from the United States to seek world relief from potential high tides and dangerous storms

Miami-The mayors of Miami, Miami Beach, South Miami, Fort Lauderdale and other communities in southern Florida are about to petition the United States and the United Nations to allow them to separate-not just from the rest of Florida, but from the e...
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Funny story: Navratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open

Navratilova upstages Djokovic and Nishikori at U. S. Open

ONLY IN AMERICA - Martina Navratilova, known as much for her lesbianism as for her tennis, upstaged both Novak Djokovic and Keri Nishikori at the U. S. Open when Navratilova proposed to her long-time girlfriend, Julia Lemigova." The magic mome...
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Funny story: George Zimmerman vs. Justin Bieber Cage Fight To Be Held Friday!

George Zimmerman vs. Justin Bieber Cage Fight To Be Held Friday!

George Zimmerman, the unemployed Sanford FL hot head who shot and killed an unarmed teenager, is trying to make a buck anyway he can on his 15 minutes of vomit inducing fame. Zimmerman's agent Sal Douchbaggie announced today that Georgie will be f...
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Funny story: Vice-President Joe Biden Wonders How In The World Ann Coulter Can Have So Much Hatred

Vice-President Joe Biden Wonders How In The World Ann Coulter Can Have So Much Hatred

SARASOTA, Florida - Vice-President Joe Biden was in Florida speaking to a group of retired citrus pickers. He told them that they are truly great Americans and without them our great nation would not have orange juice, lemon juice, grapefruit juic...
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Funny story: Crime Stoppers director bites

Crime Stoppers director bites

MY AM ME, WHO YOU BE, FL -- Your identity may not be safe from the National Security Agency (NSA) or on the Obummercare web site, but it's secure with the Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers, the executive director of which recently took a bite out of crime wh...
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Funny story: Scamatology is Having a Huge Garage Sale

Scamatology is Having a Huge Garage Sale

Clearwater, FL Insisting they are not going out of business, Scamatology's diminutive leader Davey Makemerich announced that they would have a garage sale on the lawn of the Super Power building. With rumors that all is not well in the Scamatology...
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Funny story: Every Bird In New York City Has Gone South To Florida and They'll Probably Never Ever Come Back

Every Bird In New York City Has Gone South To Florida and They'll Probably Never Ever Come Back

NEW YORK CITY - One of the nation's top experts on birds and their migratory habits has just stated that the birds are having hell with the harsh-as-hell winter. Dr. Hamlet Chimney of Harvard held a news conference in Central Park and told joggers...
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Funny story: The U.S. Department of Weather States That The Statue of Liberty Could End Up Buried In Snow Up To Her Derriere

The U.S. Department of Weather States That The Statue of Liberty Could End Up Buried In Snow Up To Her Derriere

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The snow situation in the United States has gotten way, way out of hand. Meteorologists report that there is currently snow in 49 of the 50 states. The only state that has no snow is the Plywood State of Florida. Florida's De...
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Funny story: A Research Study Reveals That Guppies Are The Only Species of Fish That Can Giggle

A Research Study Reveals That Guppies Are The Only Species of Fish That Can Giggle

Apalachicola, Florida - A team of research scientists from Chicago has just spent five weeks doing research down on the Florida Gulf Coast. The team's director Dr. Randy Sangrantino, 54, stated that after spending thousands of hours studying guppi...
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Funny story: Southern States band together to deport Zimmerman to Alaska

Southern States band together to deport Zimmerman to Alaska

A coalition of Southern States led by Florida and Texas have convened a plenary and joint session of their legislatures to draft a bill banning George Zimmerman of domicile in any of the participating states. The same bill proposes to deport him as f...
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Funny story: The Reason Why Florida Has Banned The Computer Function, Ctrl-Alt-Delete

The Reason Why Florida Has Banned The Computer Function, Ctrl-Alt-Delete

PENSACOLA, Florida - The governor of Florida has just issued a Governor's Directive which mandates that all computers within the state will no longer be allowed to use the Ctrl-Alt-Delete computer feature. A spokesperson for the governor, P.K. "Ta...
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Funny story: Florida Demands That The Rapper Known As Flo Rida Change His Name

Florida Demands That The Rapper Known As Flo Rida Change His Name

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA - The attorney general of Florida has just sent a certified letter to rap singer Flo Rida. The letter makes it abundantly clear that the state of Florida is insisting that Tramar Dillard, who goes by the rap name Flo Rida, imm...
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Funny story: Florida's Plans For A George Zimmerman Theme Park Fall Through

Florida's Plans For A George Zimmerman Theme Park Fall Through

TALLAHASSEE, Florida - National Focus Magazine is reporting that the heated issue of a George Zimmerman Theme Park has caused quite a hoopla in the Plywood State of Florida. State Senator Claxton F. MalagueƱa [D-Fort Walton Beach] spearheaded a dr...
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Funny story: Florida OKs Hand Grenades for "Stand-Your-Ground" Defense

Florida OKs Hand Grenades for "Stand-Your-Ground" Defense

Special to TPN - Florida Governor Rick Scott today signed into law an expansion of his state's controversial "Stand-Your-Ground" statute 776.013. Those with so-called "carry" permits for handguns will be allowed to conceal on their persons not more t...
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Funny story: Florida Implements An Amazing New Teenage Curfew

Florida Implements An Amazing New Teenage Curfew

TALLAHASSEE, Florida - The state of Florida has decided that in order to prevent anymore senseless acts of violence [i.e. The George Zimmerman case] it will be putting into effect a new curfew which will apply to anyone between the ages of 8 and 21.
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Funny story: George Zimmerman to be tapped to head the NYPD

George Zimmerman to be tapped to head the NYPD

New York City -- Lame duck Mayor Michael Bloomberg is working to install neighborhood watch favorite George Zimmerman as the city's next Police Commissioner. "Think of this as my going away present to the city," said Bloomberg, who will be out o...
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Breaking News...

News Media Will Only Report on Women Not Raped by Cosby

There are now so many Bill Cosby rape accusers that a new one is no longer news; what is news is a woman he hasn't drugged or raped.
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