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New Environment Minister Ready For Floods, Horsemeat and Badger Issues - "Bring Em On!" Says Liz Rupture

Funny story: New Environment Minister Ready For Floods, Horsemeat and Badger Issues - "Bring Em On!" Says Liz Rupture

Ready for anything minister, Liz Rupture has said she can make a much better job of dealing with floods, horsemeat in burgers, badger issues, tsunamis, volcanoes, meteors, earthquakes and students than her sacked predecessor. "also after working for...

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Super El Nino On The Way

The world got a taste of this back in the late 1990s but this time it could be a lot worse with a severe drought in some areas and flooding in others. Add this to the worldwide sudden increase of earthquakes and it could take people's minds off el...

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New Billion Pound Study To Ascertain Flood Causes

Funny story: New Billion Pound Study To Ascertain Flood Causes

The government are to spend a billion pounds in studying the causes of the recent floods which hit the UK this winter. With the fallout still lapping at the feet of every hard working Brit, the Environment Agency still blame the Government and the...

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Johnson - Not enough snow fallen on London. Snow making machines to be employed next week.

Funny story: Johnson - Not enough snow fallen on London. Snow making machines to be employed next week.

Boris Karloff Johnson, the Mayor of London is to cover London and the Home Counties with 4 metres of snow on Monday with a M.O.D. atomic snow bomb. On looking through the accounts it was found that there was a 10 billion pounds surplus which must be...

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Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

Funny story: Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

In a move of breathtaking brilliance, the Community Secretary Eric Pickles today put down his pie and announced the initiative to save the Thames Valley from further flood damage. 'The Environment Agency will henceforth direct their hoses down the...

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Turkey production doubled for additional Christmas in June

Funny story: Turkey production doubled for additional Christmas in June

Fast track turkey breeding is taking place in government buildings throughout the U.K for an extra Christmas on the 25th of June. The Chancellor yesterday patronisingly announced the additional Yuletide as a reward to everyone for putting up with t...

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Audi release a new car for the Somerset Levels

Funny story: Audi release a new car for the Somerset Levels

Audi's latest model for the home counties and South of England is bound to make something of a splash when it hits the shores next November. "This car is something to behold," said Jeremy Clarkson in a pompous voice. "It is seriously cool," sai...

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Sharks released into Somerset floods by Environment Agency and Conservation Dept.

Funny story: Sharks released into Somerset floods by Environment Agency and Conservation Dept.

Twelve container loads of Large White Sharks have been released into the Somerset flood regions by conservationists. I spoke with an environment spokesperson who explained their actions: "These animals are natural clean up agents and will do a lo...

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Boat Planes make new Heathrow terminal redundant

Funny story: Boat Planes make new Heathrow terminal redundant

Somerset is to become a new Boat Plane airport, making the new Heathrow terminal redundant. The new terminal will be flooded and made into a water park instead, an Environment comedian announced this morning. A Newt enthusiast told our report...

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Daily Mail to Syria: 'We Want Our Money Back'

The Daily Mail are to sponsor an advert appealing for donations towards British flood victims. The advert, to be shown all across Syria, will feature a broad spectrum of white, middle-class people who currently live under the water. The newspaper...

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Exiled Russian tycoon's $220m UK mansion sinks in flooding quagmire

Funny story: Exiled Russian tycoon's $220m UK mansion sinks in flooding quagmire

Henley on Thames, Berks - Hope is fading fast tonight for former Gore 2000 supporter and Interpol Red Notice fugitive Andrey Borodin's $220m (£140m) Palladian pile on the banks of the River Thames in Berkshire. Park Place, a 100-room marble and gi...

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Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

There would be no flooding in an independent Scotland it was claimed today. The bold statement was made by Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who was making a speech from somewhere up really, really high. "This just goes to prove yet another diff...

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Waterways Agency hunt for missing canals

Funny story: Waterways Agency hunt for missing canals

With the recent devastating flooding across the south of England, the Waterways Agency have requested help from the government to locate hundreds of miles of missing canals. "We thought we knew where they were," said Walter Way, head of Canal main...

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100MPH winds batter the UK and Cameron dons his favourite designer wellies!

Funny story: 100MPH winds batter the UK and Cameron dons his favourite designer wellies!

The UK has and is still being battered by storms, floods and 100MPH winds, but there is a saviour in sight. PM David Cameron has been sighted on a non-existent 'dyke' wearing his designer wellies promising to plug it and she loved every second! He...

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Long To Rain Over Us is last leg of Queen's Diamond Jubilee hex, astrologers explain

Funny story: Long To Rain Over Us is last leg of Queen's Diamond Jubilee hex, astrologers explain

The Cosmos - Filthy conditions in Aquarius, sign of the water bearer, are likely to climax on Valentine's Day when the Leo Fool Moon brings a deluge of karma on Elizabeth Windsor's preposterous 62-year reign. That's the upshot of an astrology conf...

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Putting The Boot In

Funny story: Putting The Boot In

Wellington Boot sales are rocketing as Floods devastate parts of Britain and with more rain and gales to come! Chief Executive of Wellington Boots Inc, Mac Tosh, has told Spoof that 'sales are going welly well' with special designs for TV appearan...

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Somerset drilling causes water spouts in Birmingham

Funny story: Somerset drilling causes water spouts in Birmingham

Drilling operations to unblock the drains under Somerset have caused colossal geysers to shoot out of Birmingham sewers, the outraged Mayor of Birmingham claimed today. Labour voters in Birmingham watched in disbelief as millions of gallons of posh...

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Pod of killer sharks seen in flood-hit Datchet High Street

Funny story: Pod of killer sharks seen in flood-hit Datchet High Street

Berkshire, UK - Residents of the picturesque Thames village of Datchet fled for their lives tonight as rising flood waters brought a new menace to the neighborhood in the form of a pod of killer sharks. Local herbalist Alfred Bong-Edwards, 69, tak...

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Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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