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Move over FitBit - Introducing tbe ShitFitBit, for Toddlers.

Funny story: Move over FitBit - Introducing tbe ShitFitBit, for Toddlers.

San Jose, CA - Riding the wave of the rise in popularity of fitness trackers, one popular fitness-tracking company is set to release its latest product, ShitFitBit, which is designed to keep track of all your crazy toddler's shit-fits. "Many frant...

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Yoga Studio Farts Away Carbon Emissions

Funny story: Yoga Studio Farts Away Carbon Emissions

Santa Monica, CA - One of L.A.'s most popular yoga studios has invented a very unique way to solving it's green house gas output - by harnessing farts! "I was in the middle of leading a Hot Bikram class through downward-dog poise," tells Raven Bra...

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The Internationally Acclaimed Ballast Diet Is Explained By Its Creator

Funny story: The Internationally Acclaimed Ballast Diet Is Explained By Its Creator

The Ballast diet has taken the international slimming world by storm. Below is a transcript of a recent, rare radio interview with its creator, Professor Swan Morrison, in which he discusses the scheme in unprecedented detail. ~*~*~*~*~*~ 'Hello Professor Morrison and welcome to the Breakfast Radio Show.' 'Thank you for inviting me onto your programme.' 'You've invented a revolutionar...

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Dollars or Pounds? Study Shows Weight Proportional to Dollars Spent on Fitness

The fitness industry is a huge marketplace, drawing countless Americans - a full two-thirds of whom are overweight - into spending billions of dollars annually in the hopes of becoming healthier, fitter, or simply less fat. Unfortunately for health-h...

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Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

Funny story: Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

According to the latest buzz from health clubs and fitness gurus, the formerly wildly popular Paleo Diet has been supplanted by the new Sociopath or "Socio" Diet, which skyrockets meat-centric eating to new dimensions of amorality. Sources say the Socio Diet has particularly caught fire in high-power urban centers like New York City and Washington, D.C. Want to incorporate some "Socio" into you...

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Toddler Crossfit Classes Springing Up Around The Nation -"Tough Lil' Mudder" Competition Spawned

Crossfit, one of the latest fitness crazes in the last few years has gained popularity all over the nation. Now pint sized little power houses are able to join in on the craze by participating in the training as well. Toddler level crossfit classes...

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Under Armor Creates Muscle Building Shirt

4:30am - CHICAGO - Consumers anxiously line up at local sporting stores to be the first persons to purchase Under Armor's newest product, The Commitment Shirt®. Featuring the company's latest technology, which promotes muscle growth for the...

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Paul Ryan Quitting Politics; Opening Fitness Center

In a bizarre sequence of events, Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney's former Vice-Presidential running mate, has decided to resign from federal politics to open up a local fitness center in Janesville, Wisconsin. Many Washington insiders are puzzled by the unpre...

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Man Forces Obese Women to Exercise at Gunpoint

Funny story: Man Forces Obese Women to Exercise at Gunpoint

SYDNEY: Australian fitness fanatic, Koen Verelst, is wanted for questioning after forcing at least 3 or 4 obese women to exercise at gunpoint. It is thought that Vereslt, now on the run, approached the group as they were exiting a local Mcdonalds.

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Fit wealthy people to face certain death

Funny story: Fit wealthy people to face certain death

New research has revealed that people who undertake fitness routines and who observe careful diets are at least as likely to die as people who smoke, are obese, or both. This is especially true if they are also loaded. James Ward, professor of uns...

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Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Get Your Barely-Used Fitness Equipment Here!

Funny story: Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Get Your Barely-Used Fitness Equipment Here!

(Associated Benchpress) - It's that time of year again when people buy for themselves and each other all sorts of home fitness gadgets to be used for getting in shape throughout the New Year. The big problem is that there is currently too much raw material tied up in existing home gym equipment that ultimately remains dormant. As a result, manufacturers are asking the public to turn in their o...

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Michael Moore named as Fitness Czar

Funny story: Michael Moore named as Fitness Czar

In an effort to help get average Americans interested in exercise, the Obama Administration has named documentary filmmaker Michael Moore as the Presidential Fitness Czar. Long known for his highly accurate documentaries concerning everythin...

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Florida Fitness at Flamingo

A whole new breed of physical fitness has been discovered near the southern tip of Florida, and it comes with four legs, and six legs, and sometimes no legs at all. Each morning the exercise routine begins with extricating large and sometimes poisonous snakes from the public showers, an exercise that is equal to a three hour cross country jog. But that's just the beginning, and your Florida fit...

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We'll Sell You Food, Get You Fat In December - In January Buy Our Exercise DVDs!

Funny story: We'll Sell You Food, Get You Fat In December - In January Buy Our Exercise DVDs!

Consumer watchdogs, Waste-of-timecom , have slammed female celebrities that make a living from, fattening up the guillible in December and then make another living from slimming down the same group of people in January. Catherine Martinique said...

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1400lbs Man Undergoes Drain Clearance

Funny story: 1400lbs Man Undergoes Drain Clearance

A man who used to weigh more than 1400lbs (100 stones) has won an award for 'slimming', after losing around 65% of his body weight in just three months. More amazing still, is that, this 3-month 'weightcrash' included...

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