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Funny satire stories about Fast Food

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Funny story: KFC isn't as FLG as it used to be (and ought to be)

KFC isn't as FLG as it used to be (and ought to be)

DOGPATCH, KY ---- Kentucky Fried Chicken, more commonly known by the initials FLG (for "finger-lickin' good") claims to be a restaurant that "happens to sell fast food," rather than a fast-food franchise. With nearly 20,000 locations, there's probably one near you unless you live in a country other than the United States, although there are one or two FLGs in such third-world hellholes as the Unit...
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Funny story: McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

ANYTOWN, USA -- At McDonaldo's, if you buy anything other than a 1/4 Pounder, you can go pound sand, as far as the freshness of your order is concerned. "We don't do 'fresh,' when it comes to our hamboogers, cheeseboogers, or Big Macks," CEO Ronaldo...
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Funny story: Fast Food restaurants ban "Healthy" looking people

Fast Food restaurants ban "Healthy" looking people

Only in Trumps America would such a move be considered in keeping with current equality laws. After recent pressure from 'large' groups of eatavists, several fast food restaurant chains have given in and applied a nationwide ban on healthy peopl...
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Funny story: Allahuh Ak Bar opens in Bradford

Allahuh Ak Bar opens in Bradford

A new non-alcoholic kebab bar has opened in Bradford today specialising in vegetarian and gluten-free kebabs, although in an effort not to insult some potential customers, it won't be declared nut-free. Thought by cynics to be named after the hue...
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Funny story: Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)

Cenk Uygur: Extraordinary, Unprecedented Anti-Corporation Rant (1/2)

A recent "virulent" rant by Cenk Uygur has gone "viral" on Youtube... Oh, crap. Mere semantics again, isn't it? Anyways, have a look at this transcript. Responses on a snail-card please. Well, yeah, why not? After all highly eloquent and intellectually satisfying responses from Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin have already appeared... So don't be last in the race to the bottom. Still, wh...
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Funny story: Candidate Sanders picks Colonel Sanders for VEEP slot

Candidate Sanders picks Colonel Sanders for VEEP slot

Burlington, Vermont -- Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has selected deceased fast food mogul Col. Harlan David Sanders as his vice presidential running mate. Asked to describe the "flavor" of their campaign, Col. Sanders said: "It...
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Funny story: McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

McDee's To Test New "Make-It-Yo-Damn-Self" Locations in L.A.

Los Angeles, CA - In an effort to keep up with the times and not slide down the grease sewer of bankruptcy, McDonald's is rolling out implementation of their latest marketing gimmick. "We've poured hundreds of millions of dollars into this project...
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Funny story: Back In Gear: The new Jeremy Clarkson motoring show!

Back In Gear: The new Jeremy Clarkson motoring show!

Back In Gear HQ, London: Jeremy Clarkson BACK to present live shows to avoid paying out £10million in refunds to angry fans. Jeremy Clarkson will front the 'Back in Gear' Live World Tour, with Richard Hammond and James May, which is set to make more...
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Funny story: Warren Buffet advises schoolchildren to "eat junk"

Warren Buffet advises schoolchildren to "eat junk"

OUT THERE -- Famed financier Warren Buffet says his secret source of energy is in his name: buffet. "Eat like it's your last meal," he advises six-year-old schoolchildren, "and you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet!" That's where the octogenarian-pl...
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Funny story: Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

Nobel Physics Prize Accidentally Awarded To Micro Chips Inventor Dyson McDonald

The Nobel Prize for innovative development in physics has been accidentally awarded to Dyson MacDonald, the inventor of "microwave chips" and not the microchip inventor Werner Jacobi. The invention of the integrated circuit, or microchip goes bac...
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Funny story: Fast-food customers safe "for now"

Fast-food customers safe "for now"

DEE TROIT, MI - Disgruntled fast-food workers have united, in Dee Troit, of all places, walking off their jobs in support of unionization, after union reps, armed with baseball bats and megaphones, promised them $15 and benefits for cleaning restroom...
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Funny story: Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

Bugger Queen to Slide Meat Between Tim Horny's Buns

U.S. fast food chain Bugger Queen, aided by a load of seed money from financier Warren Bummit, announced plans to penetrate the Canadian market by buying up coffee and dog nut chain Tim Horny's. "We're really pumped up over this", announced Bugger...
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Funny story: Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Fast Food Industry Rampant With Falsified Resumes Says Doctoral Student

Iowa City - A doctoral student at The University of Iowa has uncovered a startling number of falsified resumes within the fast food industry. Ichabod Alchemy was working on his thesis which is a study of underlying economic trends that affect the...
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Funny story: Malevolent Mascot Maraurdes Mongolian Metropolis

Malevolent Mascot Maraurdes Mongolian Metropolis

Disturbing images are filtering in through the Mongolian social media site, DuckSoup.web Witnesses in one of Ulan Baator's biggest McDonald's "restaurants" have attested to seeing an 8 foot mascot dressed in the Sino-friendly version of Ronald McD...
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Funny story: UFO Sightings Up, Fat People Disappearing.

UFO Sightings Up, Fat People Disappearing.

Professor Montgomery of a Think Tank located in West Virginia rural area say that they have become alarmed at the both the sightings of UFOs in the sky and a growing list of missing fat people. "We now believe that the connection is that whoever i...
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Funny story: Long John Silver's Has Decided To Take Its Piranha Sandwich Off The Menu

Long John Silver's Has Decided To Take Its Piranha Sandwich Off The Menu

SAN DIEGO - The seafood fast food franchise chain that is based in San Diego, California has decided to take its Piranha Sandwich off the menu. Elmendorf Butterbox, spokesperson for Long John Silver's said that the reason was due to the fact that...
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Funny story: Jack-In-The-Box Introduces The Latest Member In Its Burger Family

Jack-In-The-Box Introduces The Latest Member In Its Burger Family

SAN DIEGO, California - Jack-In-The-Box Corporate Spokeswoman Buffy Buttonburg told the press that the San Diego based hamburger giant has just come out with its latest burger creation. The new burger is named The QuakeBurger and it was developed...
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Funny story: McDonald's Debuts Its New Burger In Honor of California

McDonald's Debuts Its New Burger In Honor of California

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest fast food chain has just announced that it has just unveiled it latest burger creation. Company spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta said that after just being on the market for 24 hours the new McVolcanoburger is...
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