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Funny story: Storytellers vs. Masseuses: Who Has Rights to Term "Happy Ending?"

Storytellers vs. Masseuses: Who Has Rights to Term "Happy Ending?"

It's a battle between grandma-like storytellers and masseuses with soft, alluring voices and warm hands, and in the smack in the middle is federal judge Henroid P. Geezle. He is tasked with deciding whether the storytellers or the masseuses have the...
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Funny story: Another Imaginary Man To Depart Imaginary Kingdom?

Another Imaginary Man To Depart Imaginary Kingdom?

Another imaginary man has expressed concerns about the imaginary kingdom in which he has been domiciled, writes Fantasy World correspondent, Alexander Selkirk. It will be remembered that I have reported on these kinds of matters before. I spoke to this latest imaginary man yesterday, in an exclusive imaginary interview for our imaginary audience. It was surprisingly easy to gain entry to the im...
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Funny story: Alert: Real Life Is Way Too Similar To Fairy Tales

Alert: Real Life Is Way Too Similar To Fairy Tales

In a surprisingly good twist of fate I've been dating someone for the past two months who has yet to shock and horrify me. Fear not, his freak flag will fly sooner or later and make for a very interesting post, but until I can publicly mock him I will need to look a little harder to find inspiration. During my journey home from one of our "slumber parties" (after telling the tourist blocking th...
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Funny story: Fairy Tale Wolf Convention Goes Horribly Wrong

Fairy Tale Wolf Convention Goes Horribly Wrong

The Fairy Tale Wolf Convention held annually in Manchester may have seen it's last wolf after events this year. "It was horrible," said Ben Woodsman, organiser of the event. "There was carnage in every corner." With all the fairy tale wolves in...
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Funny story: The Cucumber Man - a spoof by my six year old son

The Cucumber Man - a spoof by my six year old son

The following is a spoof fairy tale written by my six year old son (I typed, but it all his own words). Once upon a time, there was a little girl and little boy who lived with their mum and dad. One day, they planted some cucumbers. In three weeks, cucumbers started to grow. They grew and grew and grew. The two children and their mum and dad picked the cucumbers' and they took them inside...
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Funny story: The three little pigs and the crocodile - a spoof for children

The three little pigs and the crocodile - a spoof for children

Once upon a time the three little pigs came to a river. "We need to cross this river," said the youngest little pig. "But we can't swim across," said the middle little pig, "there is a crocodile in the river." "Then we will need to build boats," said the oldest little pig. The three little pigs went to find things to build their boats with. The youngest little pig found a field full...
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Funny story: Animal Cruelty

Animal Cruelty

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years'? The fairy godmother repl...
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Funny story: Horror: Jack Dies In Terrifying Fall.

Horror: Jack Dies In Terrifying Fall.

Jack Smith, 860, died last night in a terrifying fall from his beanstalk. The hero of the children's story had lived alone there ever since killing the Giant. The adventurer rose to fame when he misguidedly swapped a cow for magic beans. His fu...
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Funny story: A Progressive Hippie's Fairy Tale

A Progressive Hippie's Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a large hippie clan living in a remote area of the Appalachian Mountains. They had been living a quiet life out of mainstream America since the early 70's. They dropped out of society during the Nixon administration fully expecting to re-integrate back in when Nixon left office, but decided their lifestyle was one that could not be abandoned so easily. Numbering in t...
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Funny story: Fairy Tales For Tourettes sufferers. Goldibolox and the three bears

Fairy Tales For Tourettes sufferers. Goldibolox and the three bears

Once upon a time, a little slut named Goldibolox was walking through the forest. She came upon a small house, and thought, hello, I think I will burgle that place. The little bastard broke a window and crept in. After searching the house and finding nothing, she realised they were working class wankers that must be on the fukin dole. Feeling a bit pekish, she went into the kitchen, there, on the...
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Funny story: The World's Other Shortest Fairy Tale

The World's Other Shortest Fairy Tale

One day a chauvanist pig proposed to a beautiful, extremely intelligent young woman. She said, "No,' and she lived happily every after. She didn't have to do any housework. She shopped till she dropped. She wore anything she wanted and her butt NEVER looked big at all. She was never told to shave her moustache. She was NEVER given appliances for Christmas presents. She didn'...
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Funny story: Old Mother Hubbard Facing Bankruptcy

Old Mother Hubbard Facing Bankruptcy

Old Mother Hubbard is facing bankruptcy procedures in the High Court, following news that she no longer has anything left in her cupboards. Her creditors have taken the decision as they do not expect her financial situation to improve soon. Old Mo...
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Funny story: Fairy Tales For Our Modern Times

Fairy Tales For Our Modern Times

Psychologists have isolated new 'fairy tale' beliefs that have evolved in our society in recent years. All times in history have had their mythology and illusions that they believe in. Ours is no different. We might think that we are rational and scientific, but in reality we have just as warped of thinking as had our predecessors who believed in witch doctors. Our beliefs are just more modern.
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Funny story: New Research: The Emperor Wore Clothes...But Had a Tiny Penis

New Research: The Emperor Wore Clothes...But Had a Tiny Penis

The cherished children's story "The Emperor's New Clothes" is a short tale by Hans Christian Andersen about an emperor who cares for nothing but his finery. He hires two weavers who promise to fashion him a splendid suit made from a fabric invisible...
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Funny story: Witch left homeless

Witch left homeless

It was bad news today for Dortchen Wilde of Delamere Forest when local council officials closed down her home on basic failures of the building regulations. Dortchen, locally known as The Wicked Witch, lived in a gingerbread house. Though nothing...
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Funny story: A Grim Fairy Tale: Our Very Own President Pinnochio Caught Lying!

A Grim Fairy Tale: Our Very Own President Pinnochio Caught Lying!

City of Catchfools/ A Never Ending Tale - In a night of enlightenment for the US electorate, the US President was exposed in front of the nation as a complex web of lies finally ensnared the little wooden puppet from Chicago, who wanted to become a...
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Funny story: Hansel And Gretel Arrested

Hansel And Gretel Arrested

Hansel and Gretel have been arrested after new DNA evidence has come to light in the case of the roasted 'witch', a cause celebre and scandal which rocked the world a hundred years ago. "We have evidence which suggests that the siblings may have e...
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Funny story: Steingrabber Conjoined Twins and Their Children's Crusade

Steingrabber Conjoined Twins and Their Children's Crusade

Hank and Hal the Steingrabber conjoined twins have been trying to launch the latest New York Yankee World Series effort like the desperate war wagers of the past.
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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