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Forward passing banned by FIFA

Funny story: Forward passing banned by FIFA

They've gone ahead and done it. After fewer and fewer examples of the ball actually being kicked up the pitch towards the opponent's goal in the latest Euro 2016 Championships, FIFA have taken the bull by the horns and banned all forward passing...

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Sepp Blatter outed as Andy Kaufman

Funny story: Sepp Blatter outed as Andy Kaufman

The criminal investigation into Sepp Blatter has discovered that the Soccer boss is in fact Comedian and Prankster Andy Kaufman, who was thought to have died in 1984. Many people have over the years pointed out some similarities between Kaufman a...

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Don Blatter denies he's the Godfather

Swiss Authorities today announced a criminal investigation into corrupt actvities by Sepp Blatter (known variously as 'The Don', "'Sepp The Tongue'and 'Sepptic'",  the President of world soccer governing body FIFA. From his heavily fortified famil...

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Soccer's Green Card Plan. Insert Your Own Trump Immigration Jokes Here

It's happened again. People's inability to read a news story to the end has got immigration fretters wearing away the last strand holding their heads on. European soccer chiefs this week announced a scheme to introduce green cards to profession...

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FIFA scandal spreads to Games body

Funny story: FIFA scandal spreads to Games body

New York - The Games Body, official body of international summer and winter athletics events, may be tainted with the same crap as footie's FIFA scandal according to unreliable sources at QM-NewsCorpse. Latest reports are describing the same of cu...

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FIFA Scandal: Jack Warner Reveals Everything

Funny story: FIFA Scandal: Jack Warner Reveals Everything

Former Fifa vice-president Jack Warner has revealed himself on live TV causing a massive electricty surge in the tiny nation of Trinidad and Tobago. Mr Warner, who said he feared for his life, also said he could link Fifa officials to the German i...

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2010 World Cup To Be Replayed

Funny story: 2010 World Cup To Be Replayed

The 2010 FIFA World Cup, originally played in South Africa, is to be replayed next week in the United State after the country admitted paying Fifa $10m to host the 2010 tournament. "It's only fair," said one man, just days after FIFA President S...

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THIEFA president out on his ass

Funny story: THIEFA president out on his ass

Switzerland - The president of the Thieving Hypocritical Idiots Embezzlement & Fraud Association has hung up his boots in the wake of the latest corruption scam. Jeb Splatter, 69, was ousted from the world racketeering body despite having been...

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Sepp Blatter wins Nobel Prize for Obliviousness

Amid a whirlwind of allegations against FIFA, the world football authority, its Secretary-General received a rare piece of good news. In a private ceremony held earlier today, Sepp Blatter was awarded the 2015 Nobel Prize for Obliviousness. The a...

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Sepp's Main Aim

Funny story: Sepp's Main Aim

With the re-election of Sepp Blatter as head of the mafia Back and to the Left news travelled to Switzerland to visit the man himself. After passing more security than a secret research facility we were taken to a giant pool room. Half naked beauties bathed in a pool of champagne and frolicked under waterfalls of gold flecked water. We would have given them a wave but that would be a breach of...

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Blatter wins again

Funny story: Blatter wins again

Sepp Blatter, Non-Stick-Coated CEO of FIFA, has been re-elected despite not winning a two-thirds majority against Jordan's Prince Ali bin al-Hussein, who withdrew after the first round of voting. Furious that allegations of corruption were also la...

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FIFA supports corruption as laissez-faire

Amid calls for his dismissal FIFA President Sepp Blatter refused to condemn allegations of widespread corruption within soccer's governing body. FOX news reported earlier today that President Blatter strongly opposes any investigation of FIFA.

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Farage In Homophobic Outburst on FIFA 14

Funny story: Farage In Homophobic Outburst on FIFA 14

Nigel Farage could stand to lose UKIP a substantial amount of votes after stating that the computer game Pro Evolution Soccer is only played by "fucking homos" and "dykes". Mr Farage, a huge fan of the FIFA franchise and good friend of Richard Scu...

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Chinese Player Performs Miracle on FIFA 14

Funny story: Chinese Player Performs Miracle on FIFA 14

Li Win Don, a Chinese teenager living in China has become the first player to unlock the secret code on FIFA 14 after he scored with both Ameobi brothers in the same match. The miracle feat occurred at 14:30 GMT last Wednesday, to which EA Sports...

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10 Year Old boy releases his 23-man England squad for World Cup

Funny story: 10 Year Old boy releases his 23-man England squad for World Cup

Sammy Caruthers of Guildford announced yesterday his own provisional 23 man England football squad for the World Cup 2014 in Brazil this June. Sammy, who goes to school at St Margarets Church of England primary, said that changes could be made l...

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Blatter Boost for Women's Football

Funny story: Blatter Boost for Women's Football

He was elected the president of the World Society of Friends of Suspenders in the 1970s. He incurred criticism from female footballers in 2004 when he suggested that women should "wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts to create a more female aesthe...

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Roommate Would Really Like to Know Where the Fucking Bullets are Going if They're Not Killing that Fucking Guy

Salisbury, MD - Local roommate Mike Harron "is really having trouble believing the guy dodged all those fucking shots." The Salisbury University junior, "honestly cannot believe that just fucking happened." "He was on the ground in last stand, wha...

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Engand football team move to third in world rankings

Funny story: Engand football team move to third in world rankings

Wembley HQ, England: With Team GB consolidating their third position in the Olympic tables, now it is time to shout a big "Hurrah" for the England Football team, who are third best at infighting, shagging each others wife's, getting boo'ded at by th...

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