Wembley HQ, England: With Team GB consolidating their third position in the Olympic tables, now it is time to shout a big "Hurrah" for the England Football team, who are third best at infighting, shagging each others wife's, getting boo'ded at by th...
After last nights penalty shoot-out against the cool Italians, England and the FA have decided to sue both the EUFA and FIFA on the grounds of crimes against humanity, mental torture and a flagrant show of discrimination against England, English play...
Qatar - Did he fall or was he pushed? An unfortunate dunking in Qatar's equivalent of the Diana, Princess of Whales Memorial Fountain this evening saw Premier League chairman Sir David Richards wet himself all over in the Doha Shangri-La Hotel's dec...
Beer and sex must be sold at all venues hosting matches in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, football's world governing body, Fifa, has insisted.
Fifa General Secretary Jerome Valcke said the right to sell beer and sex must be enshrined in a World Cup...
FIFA president Sepp Blatter has been credited with solving the long-running Stephen Lawrence murder case after a gang of white racists agreed to shake hands with the parents of Stephen Lawrence.
"I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner," s...
At a press conference celebrating the impact of pay per view viewing on football Sepp Blatter sensationally claimed today that there was no such thing as racism in football and he had no idea what the "dark skinned races" were complaining about.
Professional football stadiums will have to use much smaller pitches than are currently used for playing matches if FIFA, the governing body of the sport, passes a new rule currently being considered in Zurich. The idea to make the professional socce...
The result of an All African Games qualifier between Nigeria and Ghana has been hotly disputed after 'mysterious objects' were found in the dressing room, according to reports in the Niger Delta Standard.
Nigeria, who had chalked up a 3-1 first l...
Finalists from Britain's Got Talent, Stavros Flattley and Son, are being sent in to Greece to help solve the country's economic crisis.
British Home Secretary Theresa Mayormaynot, has confirmed that the huge-personalitied gentleman and his son hav...
Having come to an arrangement with the International Olympic Committee over a suitable allocation of free tickets and heavily-subsidised (if not completely free) hotels as part of his new term of dictatorship over FIFA, Sad Bladder has announced some...
England manager Fabio Capello has ordered his players to let Switzerland "have some" in the Euro 2012 qualifier.
Switzerland is famous for having spawned Sepp Blatter and for making cheese with holes in it.
Capello is tipping in form striker Da...
In the wake of the news that Adidas and Coca Cola are seriously reviewing their future business dealings with FIFA, the world football association's newly re-elected president Sepp Blatter has got his retaliation in first by announcing a new set of s...
The re-election of Sad Bladder as president of international football orgainsation FIFA for a 17th term was a close run for the 92 year-old former Austrian welly-throwing champion.
Despite being the only candidate in the election, which was scruti...
Sepp Blatter's Dodgy past has tonight been sensationally revealed after 6 decades of absolute secrecy. The secrecy was necessary because Sepp believed that if the truth about his secret past was revealed, it would undermine his reputation in the wor...
Reigning President Sepp Blatter was re-elected unopposed to the post and the 75 year old Swiss lost no time in tightening his grip on the association.
The 4th termer, who has been under severe pressure in recent weeks due to claims of bribery and...
Just when Sepp Blatter thought it was safe to deposit slush-hush money in his Swiss bank account, a late, second candidate has blown in and declared himself for the controversial presidency of international football association FIFA.
The late Osam...
FC Barcelona forward Lionel Messi is as mad as an elf on the day after Christmas, after playing as himself on EA Sports' FIFA '11 game for Playstation 3, and realizing that the character sucks: And he plans to sue over it!
"F--k Ronaldo, f--k, Kak...
Incumbent Fifa Idiot in Chief Sepp Blatter took another step towards securing his already infamous reputation by expressing his desire for a "fair and free" Fifa election.
Blatter, will stand unopposed at the Fifa congress in Zurich tomorrow. "All...