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New feminist org petitions FDA to stop manufacture of testosterone drugs!

A new feminist organization calling itself the..."Alt Pussy" has announced its petition to the FDA to curtail all manufacturing of testosterone drugs in the USA. The group is made up primarily of women harassed by Harvey Weinstein, Bill O'Reilly and...

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Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Funny story: Antisocial behavior vaccine developed

Some call the new vaccine racist, but scientists are starting human trials of a vaccine designed to stop antisocial behaviors. "The police asked us to come up with something to stop the rampant increase in crime. They asked if it were possible to cre...

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Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Funny story: Dook University Develops Prescription Cigarette

Durham, NC [PP] -- On Monday, Dook University released what may be a first for modern science, a therapeutic cigarette which very well could cure some forms of cancer. Dr. Ralph Jones, director of research says, "This is groundbreaking research, t...

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FDA Reviews Previously Denied Drug Applications

Funny story: FDA Reviews Previously Denied Drug Applications

Stocks are soaring for pharmaceutical companies as the FDA looks at easing regulatory restrictions for bringing new drugs to market. Even better for Big Pharma, the FDA will review drug applications that were denied in the past. But there are m...

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Feds Seize Record 10 Tons Of Organic Chicken from KFC

Funny story: Feds Seize Record 10 Tons Of Organic Chicken from KFC

The announcement by the FDA on Wednesday morning has sent a shock wave through the U.S. fast food industry and startled even its most loyal consumer base. The discovery, hidden in near plain sight within KFC's supply chain, has shaken the very t...

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A few rotten apples threaten to spoil the world's food supply

Funny story: A few rotten apples threaten to spoil the world's food supply

Beaverview, Washington -- Al Qaeda is turning the wholesome apple into a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Using the ice machine from a hijacked Malaysian airliner and a hotwired PlayStation, the terror group has created a generically modified apple th...

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Wallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"

Funny story: Wallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"

Wallgreens has always wanted to be your pharmacy. Now, the drug store chain apparently wants to be your doctor, too. Not only does it operate a Mini Klinik in each of its locations, but the company also decides whether or not to fill its customers' p...

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FDA Rules That Fruit Sticker Shock Not Harmful

Funny story: FDA Rules That Fruit Sticker Shock Not Harmful

Silver Spring, MD - The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has released it's official position regarding fruit sticker-shock. The FDA has determined that no physical harm results and that any emotional repercussions are outside its official juri...

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FDA and EPA join forces to combat new death by aspartame study

Funny story: FDA and EPA join forces to combat new death by aspartame study

Washington D.C. - As the United States Federal government is about to run out of cash, our sources report that the FDA and the EPA are about to re-launch aspartame as a vitamin. In the light of a recent study showing that aspartame kills women (...

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Amason.org to Deliver Books Intravenously

Funny story: Amason.org to Deliver Books Intravenously

Amason.org, the world's largest internet goods purveyor, has announced plans to deliver novels and other books directly to the reader in the quickest manner possible-via intravenous Infusion. Fancy some Proust? Interested in Ivanhoe? "The Dickens", y...

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FDA Approves Morning After Pill For Males: Let's Them Forget Coyote Ugly Sex Partners

Funny story: FDA Approves Morning After Pill For Males: Let's Them Forget Coyote Ugly Sex Partners

BILLINGSGATE POST - With all of the controversy surrounding yesterday's announcement that the FDA has approved the morning after pill for females 15 years and older who wish to make sure the fun they had the night before doesn't result in a pregnancy...

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Scientist Developes Turd Steaks, Truth stranger than spoof?

Funny story: Scientist Developes Turd Steaks, Truth stranger than spoof?

A Japanese scientist has developed the worlds first food group made from human excrement. Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, found that sewage mud has a lot of protein in it, beef has a lot of protein in it so why not comb...

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Idaho has hard time finding stockpile of potatos

Funny story: Idaho has hard time finding stockpile of potatos

Boise, ID - On a day that the air was as crisp an the bacon goodness on grandma's apple pie, Idahoan's found out a disturbing piece news, all their potatoes are gone. GOP representative Raul Labrador was in Boise, ID today to speak on behalf of all...

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Levaquin approved for treating plague, but not soon enough to prevent Black Death

Funny story: Levaquin approved for treating plague, but not soon enough to prevent Black Death

HARFOLD, Vt. - Levaquin (levofloxacin) has been approved by the FDA for the treatment and prevention of the plague. The only problem is that the FDA's decision comes some 665 years after the new drug would've done any goddamn good. "Unless you sen...

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FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

Funny story: FDA Re-Classifies Caesar Salad as Health Food

To the surprise of many nutritionists and health experts, the Food and Drug Administration has announced a revision to its "Good for You" food list, which will now include the long-time pseudo-healthy menu choice known as the Caesar Salad. A tradi...

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New Life-Essential Vitamin Discovered - Vitamin Q, Found Only in Water Chestnuts

Funny story: New Life-Essential Vitamin Discovered - Vitamin Q, Found Only in Water Chestnuts

Scientists have discovered a previously unknown and highly essential vitamin, vitamin Q, which is reportedly found only in water chestnuts. "Vitamin Q is absolutely and utterly vital to life," stated nutritional expert Dr. Anders Chase in a presen...

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EPA & FDA Warning: Second-hand Estrogen hazardous to males!

Funny story: EPA & FDA Warning: Second-hand Estrogen hazardous to males!

WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) -- Second-hand Estrogen (SHE) is more dangerous to males than even second-hand smoke, says a joint report issued Wednesay by the Enivironmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). "Second-ha...

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A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

Funny story: A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

DETROIT, MI - Soon you won't have to drink juice to get your Agent Orange because it will be in corn. And corn is in almost all the food you buy, most commonly as a syrup. Dr. Umbday Eadhay, family doctor in the rust belt, our source, is going to...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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