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Funny story: New CrowdHit Site let's You Crowdfund And Advertise For Contract Killers

New CrowdHit Site let's You Crowdfund And Advertise For Contract Killers

A disturbing new website CrowdHit.com is online and it's been called the Uber for contract killers. CrowdHit lets people post and crowdfund a contract to have someone killed, then professional or other killers for hire can browse the website and pick...
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Funny story: American Airlines "Terrorist" Code Cracked

American Airlines "Terrorist" Code Cracked

An American Airline flight was delayed for more than two hours after a passenger identified a terrorist on board sending cryptic messages written in Arabic. Our roving reporter bribed authorities and managed to get a copy of his message. This...
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Funny story: Apple Refuses to Share Mind-Reading Software With FBI

Apple Refuses to Share Mind-Reading Software With FBI

In a press release held Thursday morning, FBI investigator Tracey McCall expressed her frustration at Apple's refusal to cooperate with the San Bernardino shooting investigation: "We know that they install mind-reading software in all of their iPh...
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Funny story: FBI Pissed Off: Hillary Tells Them "Huma Weiner"

FBI Pissed Off: Hillary Tells Them "Huma Weiner"

BILLINGSGATE POST: You can't make this up. Or maybe you can. By now everyone knows that the FBI is investigating Hillary Clinton's use of a personal server to handle her email account while acting as Secretary of State. Although she has consistent...
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Funny story: Jerry Bruckheimer Arrested After Shooting Pilot

Jerry Bruckheimer Arrested After Shooting Pilot

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Jerome Leon ("Jerry") Bruckheimer was arrested today after the FBI discovered that he had shot a pilot. FBI agent, Dick Rasch, announced the arrest today at a press conference held today at L'Ermitage, the most expensive hotel in B...
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Funny story: Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

The American government has just taken another step in the fight to identify homegrown terrorists. In the wake of such events as the Charleston Shootings, the lawmakers on Capitol Hill have taken another step to fighting this growing epidemic. In...
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Funny story: Act 666, Scene 9/11: FBI cryptonyms reveal hidden agenda

Act 666, Scene 9/11: FBI cryptonyms reveal hidden agenda

QM-NewsCorpse stringers have hacked into the Feds' data base and decoded anagram files of leading White House names. The following is a selection of latest codes which the Bureau uses in secret communications. If your name isn't on the list it's because probably you aren't important enough - or have already slipped the Director a fat wedge of greenbacks: Lynch** harlot in mid-oral = Hil...
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Funny story: FBI's Most Wanted Terrorist Signs Short-Term-Contract With Philadelphia Eagles

FBI's Most Wanted Terrorist Signs Short-Term-Contract With Philadelphia Eagles

PHILADELPHIA, PA - Ahmad Abousamra, the FBI's most-wanted terrorist signed a one-game deal Monday with the Eagles, an anonymous league source said Sunday afternoon. Philadelphia has finalized an agreement with the 36-year-old Ahmad Abousamra when...
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Funny story: Russian spy ring smashed

Russian spy ring smashed

New York - A new Anna Chapman scandal has erupted in NYC with the arrest of three Russian spies stationed in Wall Street's premier cocaine dealing district. Dim-Eatery Pissoff, Sirgay Molotov-Koktale and cell-leader Alexander Bumpkopf were busted...
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Funny story: Brit security services using construction tower cranes to spy on wannabe IS jihadis says Director Comey

Brit security services using construction tower cranes to spy on wannabe IS jihadis says Director Comey

New York - The CEO of the FBI has praised an innovative UK surveillance program that tracks potential terrorists with spyware fixed to high-rise construction cranes following the arrest of four suspected jihadis in London. "Of course we sold them...
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Funny story: The Federal Government Issues A Warning About Black Market Viagra Pills

The Federal Government Issues A Warning About Black Market Viagra Pills

WASHINGTON, D.C. - FBI agents have just uncovered a new scam that they say could affect as many as 3 million elderly American males. An FBI agent who did not want his name mentioned stated that agents were able to infiltrate what they are calling...
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Funny story: Hunt for more FBI snitches in Obama entourage

Hunt for more FBI snitches in Obama entourage

Washington - Allegations that the Reverend Al Sharpton 'is just one of many' who ratted on dozens of bad guys subsequently flung in jail following FBI probes have so far drawn a blank thanks to 'overwhelming evidence to the contrary' a presidential a...
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Funny story: U.S. Border Patrol Agents Shoot Down A Drone Transporting 200 Pounds of Marijuana

U.S. Border Patrol Agents Shoot Down A Drone Transporting 200 Pounds of Marijuana

EL PASO - United States Border Patrol agents have reported that they've just shot down a drone that crossed over from Mexico into the United States. A spokesperson for the Border Patrol stated that the drone was truly a state of the art drone and...
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Funny story: Ted Nugent Apologizes For Calling President Obama A Subhuman Mongrel

Ted Nugent Apologizes For Calling President Obama A Subhuman Mongrel

DETROIT - Word coming out of the bankrupt city of Detroit is that Ted Nugent, has issued a statement in which he profoundly apologized to the president for making his ignorantly stupid remark. Music Moments Magazine's Calcutta Cotton further state...
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Funny story: FBI wake-up call for Sleepy Hollow sleeper cell strung out on Nembutal

FBI wake-up call for Sleepy Hollow sleeper cell strung out on Nembutal

New York - Alarm bells are ringing at the Westchester County, New York HQ of a clandestine terror cell under covert surveillance by the FBI in its monitoring of long-term Cold War hibernation programs officially declared inert/dead by the Bush/Cheney...
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Funny story: FBI To Begin Regulating Faygo Pop, the Weapons Used by Gang Member Juggalos of Insane Clown Posse

FBI To Begin Regulating Faygo Pop, the Weapons Used by Gang Member Juggalos of Insane Clown Posse

Washington, DC The FBI, since labeling the Insane Clown Posse group of fans the Juggalos a "gang," has since begun to call for regulation on the sale of Faygo Pop, used by Juggalos and the ICP themselves as deadly weapons. The Juggalos are known...
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Funny story: You Have To Destroy A Nation To Save It

You Have To Destroy A Nation To Save It

I sat down with James Clapper, former head of U.S. National Security, to get his views on the current state of America as it relates to domestic spying and intelligence gathering activity. He has recently made headlines by demanding that Edward Snow...
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Funny story: President Obama's New Year's Resolution Is To Have Conservative Radio Talk Shows Investigated

President Obama's New Year's Resolution Is To Have Conservative Radio Talk Shows Investigated

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated that he will no longer pussy-foot when it comes to dealing with conservative radio talk shows. He told an assembled group of news reporters in the White House Rose Garden that he can no longer allow th...
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Breaking News...

Trump Blames His Downslide in the Polls on Terrorists

"Terrorists know they'll be in trouble once I'm President so they rigged the polls against me!!"
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