Doha - The Qatari Emir's favorite wife has been fingered in a WikiLeaks expose demanding $280m from US energy giant Exxon to featherbed a pet hobby.
Big Oil sources immediately responded by offering Sheikha Mozzad bint Nasser Al Missned their prof...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The California Highway Patrol and several Northern California Sheriffs' Departments tonight launched a manhunt for Clark Kent, 35, who aroused suspicions when he was seen frantically searching the streets of San Francisco's touris...
London - (Snake Oil Ass mess): A rogue oil trader whose billion-dollar crude bender cost employers over $10 million in losses is in all likelihood Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson's personal bum bandit.
City of London police investigating the June 30...
Washington AC/DC - (Big Oil Mess): President O'Bama has ordered Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to dump Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson "into the nearest deep sea crude well" according to this week's BigOilShagger! magazine.
The move follows the sup...
BEVERLY HILLS, California - The Exxon-Mobil Corporation has just announced that its 2008 profits of $45.2 billion have broken the all-time world's record (again!).
CEO Grover Aronofsky-Oliveback stated that his company made a damn good profit, but...
WASHINGTON, DC - President Bush announced during a press conference this morning that Congress has approved a $870 billion bailout plan for major oil companies. Over the past six weeks, the cost of oil has plummeted to nearly a third of its record hi...
(Hell On Earth) - In a surprise move, ExxonMobile has decided to sell all of their 2,220 gas stations in order to focus full time on war profiteering. Company spokesman Beezle A. Bub announced the move today in a hastily arranged press conference at...
Top Exxon executives announced today that they have come up with a plan that will give a SUV with each fill up, a move that top brass says is their way to give back to the American people.
July, 2011 - Mobil Oil Company announced today that it could no longer compete against alternative energy sources and it will be filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Shares of Mobil stock closed at $0.97, down from $86.52 ju...
Higher demand, lower supply, an uncertain stock market and unrest in the Middle East have forced oil prices to levels never seen before in the annals of history. Oil closed yesterday at $2,489.00 per barrel.
Washington DC - (Prince William Sound Mess): "My clients fear the humiliation of being swallowed up by the mighty Chevron Corp if the $2.5billion Prince William Sound fine goes through," attorneys for Exxon-Mobil moaned at Supreme Court app...
London - (Offshore Hydrocarbons Mess): The reclusive satire writer recently reported as having regained membership of the highest profile US piggy bank club aka the Dow Jones Industrial Index has told NYC financial paper Off the Wall Street Journ...
Wall Street, NYC - "Our profits fell below four billion this quarter," Chevron representative Rick James pleads, "which is the first time we've had a drop in earnings in more than 5 years!" Chevron CEO David O'Reilly took...
Philadelphia - (Excoriating Mess): The 2000 backing of George W Bush as the GOP's official Big Oil gunslinger has been likened by perennial Democatic presidential wannabe Dennis Kucinich to Exxon Mobil's hiring of Captain Joseph Hazlewood, th...
Washington DC - (Livid Mess): The Exxon Mobil Corporation's executive board is demanding Corrupt Bastards Club help in a DC Supreme Court appeal to overturn a $2.5 billion punitive damages fine for their reckless destruction of the marine ecosyst...
Anchorage, Alaska - (Malodorous Mess): As he pleaded guilty to a raft of corruption charges earlier this year related to bribing bent Alaskan state and Capitol Hill politicians VECO's ex-CEO Bill Allen stayed strangely reticent about his relation...
Oil giant ExxonMobil has agreed to purchase the United States Military for $100 Million-trillion in a combined cash and stock purchase.
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush vetoed the war spending bill requiring US troop withdrawal from Iraq on Tuesday, saying "The job isn't finished...Exxon Mobil's profits have got to go a lot higher before we leave!"...