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Trump Is Putin's Lackey

Funny story: Trump Is Putin's Lackey

Again, the medium Maude Smithie of Los Angeles claims to have channeled the voice of the 20th century cynic and satirist H.L. Menken. I present what he allegedly said because, at least to this reporter, it seems plausible. Says Menken: "In his...

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Climate changing denier deny deniers

In a startling turn about "Slick" Jim Mason, CEO of Exxon announced that he has seen the light and is reversing his opinion on climate change. "I think," Mason said, "fossil fuels does cause global warmin' and climate change." Jim took off his cow...

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On the table, off the table, plus ExxonMobil-Rosneft, with the Black Sea label

Funny story: On the table, off the table, plus ExxonMobil-Rosneft, with the Black Sea label

Up and running for president Hillary Clinton has announced, "Let's be clear. Military options for Iran are on the table." Meanwhile, Mr. Obama has indicated the "big stick" regarding Ukraine (i.e. military action) is "off the table." It has been...

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Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Funny story: Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Houston, Texas -- As gasoline prices ratchet up past the $4-a-gallon mark, the oil industry is preparing a more luxurious way to present its increasingly costly product to consumers. "Think expensive fragrances, top-shelf liquor and premium cosmet...

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Green Food Color in Gas Doubles Exxon Market Share

Funny story: Green Food Color in Gas Doubles Exxon Market Share

Capitalizing on the huge amount of publicity given to "green energy", oil giant Exxon has doubled its market share by using food dye to physically color its gasoline green. The move has been accompanied by a fanfare of publicity around Exxon's "Cl...

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Greedy Qatari Sheikha probed under US Foreign Corrupt Practices Act

Funny story: Greedy Qatari Sheikha probed under US Foreign Corrupt Practices Act

Doha - The Qatari Emir's favorite wife has been fingered in a WikiLeaks expose demanding $280m from US energy giant Exxon to featherbed a pet hobby. Big Oil sources immediately responded by offering Sheikha Mozzad bint Nasser Al Missned their prof...

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Clark Kent Can't Find Phone Booth, Oil Tanker Crashes

Funny story: Clark Kent Can't Find Phone Booth, Oil Tanker Crashes

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The California Highway Patrol and several Northern California Sheriffs' Departments tonight launched a manhunt for Clark Kent, 35, who aroused suspicions when he was seen frantically searching the streets of San Francisco's touris...

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Rogue oil trader 'probably Rex Tillerson's rent-boy'

Funny story: Rogue oil trader 'probably Rex Tillerson's rent-boy'

London - (Snake Oil Ass mess): A rogue oil trader whose billion-dollar crude bender cost employers over $10 million in losses is in all likelihood Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson's personal bum bandit. City of London police investigating the June 30...

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"Rex Tillerson to walk the plank!" Obama orders Geithner

Funny story: "Rex Tillerson to walk the plank!" Obama orders Geithner

Washington AC/DC - (Big Oil Mess): President O'Bama has ordered Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to dump Exxon-Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson "into the nearest deep sea crude well" according to this week's BigOilShagger! magazine. The move follows the sup...

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Exxon-Mobil Plans To Buy Europe

Funny story: Exxon-Mobil Plans To Buy Europe

BEVERLY HILLS, California - The Exxon-Mobil Corporation has just announced that its 2008 profits of $45.2 billion have broken the all-time world's record (again!). CEO Grover Aronofsky-Oliveback stated that his company made a damn good profit, but...

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Congress Passes $870 Billion Bailout Plan For Exxon-Mobile, Others

Funny story: Congress Passes $870 Billion Bailout Plan For Exxon-Mobile, Others

WASHINGTON, DC - President Bush announced during a press conference this morning that Congress has approved a $870 billion bailout plan for major oil companies. Over the past six weeks, the cost of oil has plummeted to nearly a third of its record hi...

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Exxon To Sell All Gas Stations, Go Into War Profiteering Full Time

Funny story: Exxon To Sell All Gas Stations, Go Into War Profiteering Full Time

(Hell On Earth) - In a surprise move, ExxonMobile has decided to sell all of their 2,220 gas stations in order to focus full time on war profiteering. Company spokesman Beezle A. Bub announced the move today in a hastily arranged press conference at...

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Exxon to give away a SUV with each fill up

Funny story: Exxon to give away a SUV with each fill up

Top Exxon executives announced today that they have come up with a plan that will give a SUV with each fill up, a move that top brass says is their way to give back to the American people.

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Mobil Oil Corporation declares bankruptcy (July, 2011)

Funny story: Mobil Oil Corporation declares bankruptcy (July, 2011)

July, 2011 - Mobil Oil Company announced today that it could no longer compete against alternative energy sources and it will be filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Shares of Mobil stock closed at $0.97, down from $86.52 ju...

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Oil surges to $2,498.00 per barrel

Funny story: Oil surges to $2,498.00 per barrel

Higher demand, lower supply, an uncertain stock market and unrest in the Middle East have forced oil prices to levels never seen before in the annals of history. Oil closed yesterday at $2,489.00 per barrel.

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'We fear Chevron takeover unless punitive damages quashed' say Exxon-Mobil attorneys

Funny story: 'We fear Chevron takeover unless punitive damages quashed' say Exxon-Mobil attorneys

Washington DC - (Prince William Sound Mess): "My clients fear the humiliation of being swallowed up by the mighty Chevron Corp if the $2.5billion Prince William Sound fine goes through," attorneys for Exxon-Mobil moaned at Supreme Court app...

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Satirist's Sovereign Wealth Funds Diversifying

Funny story: Satirist's Sovereign Wealth Funds Diversifying

London - (Offshore Hydrocarbons Mess): The reclusive satire writer recently reported as having regained membership of the highest profile US piggy bank club aka the Dow Jones Industrial Index has told NYC financial paper Off the Wall Street Journ...

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Bush: Oil Industry Needs the Subsidies!

Funny story: Bush: Oil Industry Needs the Subsidies!

Wall Street, NYC - "Our profits fell below four billion this quarter," Chevron representative Rick James pleads, "which is the first time we've had a drop in earnings in more than 5 years!" Chevron CEO David O'Reilly took...

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Breaking news…

Referendum To Ban And Remove Trump

Gosh, since Ireland was successful with their referendum to remove the ban on abortion, can the U.S. have a referendum to ban and remove Trump?
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