Washington, D.C. - Senate leaders leaked to this reporter, today, that a solution to the Baby Boomer Fiscal Cliff problem has been agreed to. The basic idea is very simple. Not enough young to take care of the old. It is the creative solution that...
HM Queen Elizabeth II has been ordered to muzzle her corgis in public places and has been summoned to appear at the Central London Magistrates Court, in order to answer a charge under the Dangerous Dogs Act.
The move follows a vicious attack by tw...
Members of the House of Commons have been asked to vote regarding assisted suicide.
The Prime Minister has asked the 650 odd (some very) MPs whether, at the end of this parliamentary term, they should seek re-election or just simply kill themselv...
A German man has sold the rights to his murder to a television production company. The murder will take place later this year in Switzerland under the country's new euthanasia laws.
Herman Funster, 47, of Munich, appears physically fit but is act...
A government think tank has finally published the results of an investigation, conducted in order to determine whether doctors have a moral responsibility to assist in the demise of the terminally deluded.
One instance cited in the report concerne...
London - A drop of hemlock in her bedtime Horlicks (sic) may be the preferred method to dispatch HM to the land of perpetual royal nod.
Secret deals between Palace courtiers and No 10 have picked tomorrow's Festival of Lights ceremonies to finally...
Deep in the heart of anyone who is sexually promiscuous lies the fear that their significant other will blame them for transmitting genital warts. Spread through skin-to-skin contact during oral, genital or anal sex with an infected partner, these w...
The village green at Landfill Tawny which up until recently echoed to the sound of leather on willow and the voices of young children at play now drones to the sound of generators feeding electricity to the plethora of press and TV vans.
The usual...
The sleepy Essex village of Landfill Tawny was thrown into the media spotlight today surrounding allegations of serious wrong doings at the Moonfruit Euthanasia Clinic.
Landfill Tawny, a small village usually only mentioned in tourist guides is no...
Real sad news for bear lovers this morning, as news emerges that the Mama bear whose cub got caught up in a camper's fishing net (as seen on worldwide TV) has been euthanized.
Killed.
Put down.
Poor ole Momma Bear, who went on the offensive...
Zurich - (RIP mess): For decades the Dignit-arse Clinic of Zurich has prided itself on its funeral parlor pledge of beautiful endings in tasteful surroundings.
Last weekend police divers were called out to Lake Zurich after some crab fishermen ina...
Swiss Police are investigating how British Honeymooning Couple, Matt & Martina Bleasby (En-route to the exclusive resort of Gstaad) were instead taken to the Dignitas Clinic near Zurich and Euthanasied!
Patrick Bettler, Chief of Polic...
Social networking sites - a great idea, with limitless potential for users to make virtual "friends" from all over the world, with whom to exchange chit-chat, gossip, and mutual entertainment.
But apparently all is not well in the garden of twatte...
One of Britain's best loved conductors has taken his life and that of his wife at a Swiss clinic. Dick Phillpot was 83 years old, blind and deaf. He had become increasingly distressed at finding out that he shared a name with a man who had two penise...
A free bus promoting euthanasia has begun regular trips between London and Switzerland. The bus is run by human abattoir DignityMyAss, and has a large logo on its side saying "There's probably no point in life - Now stop worrying and kill yourself in...
Paul Gadd known by his self styled moniker Sir Gary of Glitter was last night locked in legal talks with a Swiss firm to try to break a legally binding contract.
The 'leader of the chain gang' signed the contract on Friday morning with the Swiss h...
London - (Assisted Euthanasia Ass Mess): It's been billed as the royals' annual Swiss bank account healthcheck visit.
But next week's all-expenses paid trip to the Gnomes of Zurich Safety Deposit Box-Clever AG, organised by Prince Charles, may a...
An elderly couple have the unique privilege of being the first married pair to have themselves euthanased together. If only they had lived to see it, they would have been proud to have seen their glorious deaths emblazoned all over the papers.
Mr...