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Funny satire stories about Euthanasia

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At last, euthanasia arrives in the UK!

The first branch of 'Cark It Right' will open the doors of its brand new, custom built suicide centre on St. Peter's Close on Monday. I spoke to the company M.D. Graham Reaper today. "Hello Graham, exciting time for you?" "Oh yes, we think it's a killer idea; people have been dying for an opportunity like this." "Erm..." "Sorry about the dark humour." "Don't you mean Christmas crack...

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Vladimir Putin in Switzerland euthanasia clinic

Funny story: Vladimir Putin in Switzerland euthanasia clinic

Lugano, Switzerland - The Russian president has been spotted lecturing at the Happy Bye-Byes euthanasia clinic symposium about end-of-days solutions for political foes. Putin is thought to be negotiating a termination package for rival Kremlin mob...

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Fiscal Cliff turned into mountain of prosperity by Senate

Funny story: Fiscal Cliff turned into mountain of prosperity by Senate

Washington, D.C. - Senate leaders leaked to this reporter, today, that a solution to the Baby Boomer Fiscal Cliff problem has been agreed to. The basic idea is very simple. Not enough young to take care of the old. It is the creative solution that...

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Queen Ordered to Muzzle Corgis

Funny story: Queen Ordered to Muzzle Corgis

HM Queen Elizabeth II has been ordered to muzzle her corgis in public places and has been summoned to appear at the Central London Magistrates Court, in order to answer a charge under the Dangerous Dogs Act. The move follows a vicious attack by tw...

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MPs asked to vote on assisted suicides

Funny story: MPs asked to vote on assisted suicides

Members of the House of Commons have been asked to vote regarding assisted suicide. The Prime Minister has asked the 650 odd (some very) MPs whether, at the end of this parliamentary term, they should seek re-election or just simply kill themselv...

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Man sells TV rights to his own murder

Funny story: Man sells TV rights to his own murder

A German man has sold the rights to his murder to a television production company. The murder will take place later this year in Switzerland under the country's new euthanasia laws. Herman Funster, 47, of Munich, appears physically fit but is act...

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Doctors Should Be Allowed To Assist The Terminally Deluded To Die, Says Think Tank

Funny story: Doctors Should Be Allowed To Assist The Terminally Deluded To Die, Says Think Tank

A government think tank has finally published the results of an investigation, conducted in order to determine whether doctors have a moral responsibility to assist in the demise of the terminally deluded. One instance cited in the report concerne...

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'Queen will be euthanised tomorrow' amid fears one in five of PM's 'problem families' lives in Buckingham Palace

Funny story: 'Queen will be euthanised tomorrow' amid fears one in five of PM's 'problem families' lives in Buckingham Palace

London - A drop of hemlock in her bedtime Horlicks (sic) may be the preferred method to dispatch HM to the land of perpetual royal nod. Secret deals between Palace courtiers and No 10 have picked tomorrow's Festival of Lights ceremonies to finally...

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Euthanasia Believed To Cure Genital Warts

Funny story: Euthanasia Believed To Cure Genital Warts

Deep in the heart of anyone who is sexually promiscuous lies the fear that their significant other will blame them for transmitting genital warts. Spread through skin-to-skin contact during oral, genital or anal sex with an infected partner, these w...

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Essex euthanasia scandal. Day two

Funny story: Essex euthanasia scandal. Day two

The village green at Landfill Tawny which up until recently echoed to the sound of leather on willow and the voices of young children at play now drones to the sound of generators feeding electricity to the plethora of press and TV vans. The usual...

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Essex euthanasia clinic investigated

Funny story: Essex euthanasia clinic investigated

The sleepy Essex village of Landfill Tawny was thrown into the media spotlight today surrounding allegations of serious wrong doings at the Moonfruit Euthanasia Clinic. Landfill Tawny, a small village usually only mentioned in tourist guides is no...

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Mama Bear Euthanized (Killed)

Funny story: Mama Bear Euthanized (Killed)

Real sad news for bear lovers this morning, as news emerges that the Mama bear whose cub got caught up in a camper's fishing net (as seen on worldwide TV) has been euthanized. Killed. Put down. Poor ole Momma Bear, who went on the offensive...

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Swiss euthanasia clinc dumped hundreds of suicide tourists - er, remains! - in lake

Funny story: Swiss euthanasia clinc dumped hundreds of suicide tourists - er, remains! - in lake

Zurich - (RIP mess): For decades the Dignit-arse Clinic of Zurich has prided itself on its funeral parlor pledge of beautiful endings in tasteful surroundings. Last weekend police divers were called out to Lake Zurich after some crab fishermen ina...

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Swiss in Mercy Killing Mix Up!

Funny story: Swiss in Mercy Killing Mix Up!

Swiss Police are investigating how British Honeymooning Couple, Matt & Martina Bleasby (En-route to the exclusive resort of Gstaad) were instead taken to the Dignitas Clinic near Zurich and Euthanasied! Patrick Bettler, Chief of Polic...

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Social Networking 'Suicides' On The Increase

Funny story: Social Networking 'Suicides' On The Increase

Social networking sites - a great idea, with limitless potential for users to make virtual "friends" from all over the world, with whom to exchange chit-chat, gossip, and mutual entertainment. But apparently all is not well in the garden of twatte...

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Thank You For The Music: Conductor And Wife In Swiss Clinic Suicide

Funny story: Thank You For The Music: Conductor And Wife In Swiss Clinic Suicide

One of Britain's best loved conductors has taken his life and that of his wife at a Swiss clinic. Dick Phillpot was 83 years old, blind and deaf. He had become increasingly distressed at finding out that he shared a name with a man who had two penise...

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Euthanasia bus launches in London

Funny story: Euthanasia bus launches in London

A free bus promoting euthanasia has begun regular trips between London and Switzerland. The bus is run by human abattoir DignityMyAss, and has a large logo on its side saying "There's probably no point in life - Now stop worrying and kill yourself in...

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Gary Glitter mistakingly signs up for euthanasia

Funny story: Gary Glitter mistakingly signs up for euthanasia

Paul Gadd known by his self styled moniker Sir Gary of Glitter was last night locked in legal talks with a Swiss firm to try to break a legally binding contract. The 'leader of the chain gang' signed the contract on Friday morning with the Swiss h...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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