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Funny story: If Britain left the EU, who would clean Seaside Cafe floors?

If Britain left the EU, who would clean Seaside Cafe floors?

If UKIP had it's way, Britain would leave the EU. But this would then mean service industries would have to then employ only Brits. Given that many Brits don't seem to want to do the 'menial' jobs which many immigrant workers do, with goodwill and...
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Funny story: Hadron Collider Discovers God

Hadron Collider Discovers God

The scene was reminiscent of a European Cup soccer final as hundreds of scientists leapt into the air screaming and shouting and hugging each other as sheaves of paper drifted through the air. It all happened at their research centre in Geneva at...
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Funny story: What are UKIP voters like?

What are UKIP voters like?

They are the political party everyone's talking about - at least in the media, where large bribes can pay for articles about subjects nobody really cares for. So what is the typical UKIP voter like? The answer to that is simple - literally simple. UKIP voters are simple-minded, poorly educated, and usually elderly. When they were growing up, Britain was one of the eight continents of the wor...
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Funny story: New EU Advertising Inclusiveness Law to merge Brand Competition

New EU Advertising Inclusiveness Law to merge Brand Competition

Under a new Advertising Inclusiveness Law, Brands can use other leading brands to advertise themselves, even if this includes encroaching another brands' territory or even encroaching on their established slogans A prime example of this is a rece...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.

The Isle of Wight has fallen foul of E.U. regulations by being above the mandatory 65 mile maximum length for a British Isle. The Isle, famous for its Rock Festivals and sequence dancing has steadfastly refused to lop 2 miles from its length, even th...
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Funny story: "Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

"Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

UKIP, right wing Tories and red-top tabloids have all today condemned the entrance of an illegal immigrant into Paddington. The suspect believed to be named as Paddington Bear was taken in my a suburban family believed to be known as 'The Browns' and...
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Funny story: EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

Dublin, Ireland - The Irish government has been ordered to seize billions of dollars in spurious new taxes from US tech giant Apple. A Chapter Eleven bankruptcy plot by departing EU Competition (sic) Commissioner JoaquĆ­n Almunia designed to ward o...
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Funny story: Move To Overturn U.S. - Scotland Haggis Import Ban

Move To Overturn U.S. - Scotland Haggis Import Ban

A ban on Haggis imported from Scotland into the U.S. may be lifted in the next few days as E.U. and The United States meet to improve food trading regulations between the two Continents. The importation of Haggis from Scotland (near England, E.U.
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Funny story: UKIP deny they are racist during unveiling of new Immigrant-targeting killer robot

UKIP deny they are racist during unveiling of new Immigrant-targeting killer robot

Further questions were asked of the UK Independence Party in London today, with their leader Nigel Farage re-iterating their party was not "racist" despite several members expressing their controversial opinions that have been leaked in reports recen...
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Funny story: All prisons in Europe may close

All prisons in Europe may close

A convicted criminal has made an astonishing complaint to the European Court of Human Rights, on the grounds that being in prison infringes his basic human rights. Barry Knuckles, a lifelong petty crook and infamous thug, was jailed for the attemp...
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Funny story: An issue of trust. And toilets.

An issue of trust. And toilets.

Can we trust politcians? Do they trust us? Can you tell when they are lieing because their lips are moving? Does a bear shit in the woods? And if it does and there is noone there to hear it, does it still make a sound? These are just some of the ques...
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Funny story: Putin's Conscious-Uncoupling From The Rest Of Russia

Putin's Conscious-Uncoupling From The Rest Of Russia

Things are getting pretty tight for Vladimir Putin. No longer wrestling bears bare-chested, the Russian leader is wrestling his old cronies who can no longer use their Visa cards to fuel their private jets and take off for a winter in Belize or where...
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Funny story: Road Accident Paramedics Replaced By Rapid Response Aromatherapists

Road Accident Paramedics Replaced By Rapid Response Aromatherapists

Under new E.U. directives, teams of alternative medical "paratherapists" have been set up by the government. To comply with the new regulations people trapped in burning cars or requiring on the spot life saving surgery can request alternative helico...
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Funny story: Obama Drone Kills English Cup Cake Insurgent Mr. Kipling - Olde English Tea Rooms Are Legitimate Drone Targets

Obama Drone Kills English Cup Cake Insurgent Mr. Kipling - Olde English Tea Rooms Are Legitimate Drone Targets

After the successful Drone missile attack on Cup Cake rebel leader Mr. Kipling, President Obama, acting on the outcome of a C.I.A investigation into subversionary English coffee bars has declared that old women having tea and cup cakes in "Tea Rooms"...
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Funny story: EU requires all British toilets to be replaced with German style loos

EU requires all British toilets to be replaced with German style loos

EU lunacy. Health and safety madness. You couldn't make it up. No matter how many cliched anti-European headlines you have heard, none of them are extreme enough to capture the latest insane idea from Brussels. European Health Inspector Hans Neeso...
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Funny story: E.U. Welsh Speed Trap Satellite Launched by Giant Soyuz Rocket

E.U. Welsh Speed Trap Satellite Launched by Giant Soyuz Rocket

The first of a series of hyperlinked geostationary Welsh speed traps was positioned by a Russian Soyuz Rocket yesterday. The "Sentinel" global orbit Police radar speed cameras will supplement the sneaky Welsh Speed traps which provide most people's...
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Funny story: Putin annoyed government minister didn't congratulate him on newly purchased Crimea

Putin annoyed government minister didn't congratulate him on newly purchased Crimea

Government minister Sergei Yarov had to apologise to Russian leader Vladimir Putin yesterday. The president had reportedly become upset when Mr Yarov failed to congratulate him on his newly-invaded state of Crimea. "Vladimir can be quite sensitive...
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Funny story: Putin imposes "Prima Nocte" law on all Crimean Brides

Putin imposes "Prima Nocte" law on all Crimean Brides

Russia stretched its political muscles over the newly-occupied area of Crimea today, with Russian leader Vladimir Putin creating a new law of "Prima Nocte" in the area. The law was popular during medieval times and allows all Russian tourists the ri...
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Bush Copyright

George Bush Senior has taken out copyright on the phrase "New World Order" that he made popular. Anybody using the phrase without his permission will be sued.
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