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Random Acts of Football (Part 1) Poland v England

Funny story: Random Acts of Football (Part 1) Poland v England

The England v Poland World Cup qualifying match was postponed on Tuesday October 16th after heavy rain. The Stadium, purpose built for the Euro 2012 tournament held in Poland and Ukraine during the summer, has a roof but never used it. The match was rearranged for 4pm the following day, ending in a 1-1 draw. One match at Euro 2012, between co-hosts Ukraine and France, was suspended due to heavy...

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England coach Roy Hodgson to employ Harry Redknapp as translator

Funny story: England coach Roy Hodgson to employ Harry Redknapp as translator

Roy Hodgson shocked the world of football today by announcing the appointment of wide boy Harry Redknapp as translator. The appointment fuels speculation that the England squad failed to understand a word that Hodgson said. The Croydon born boss,...

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Euro 2012: Spain v Italy Final - in Tweets

Funny story: Euro 2012: Spain v Italy Final - in Tweets

#euro2012 Spain getting so good at this football malarkey, UEFA need to introduce handicap, either concede goal, player or 5 min start. Spain 2 Italy 0 (Half-time) ‪If this was a boxing match the ref would would have stopped it by now. Spain going easy on italy by bringing torres on . UEFA to introduce handicap against spain, instead of Jordi Alba, next match they must field 5 characters...

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Euro 2012: Roy Hodgson gives verdict on England at end of tournament

Funny story: Euro 2012: Roy Hodgson gives verdict on England at end of tournament

As Spain took all the glory by saving the best till last and coasting to a 4-0 win over Italy in the final of Euro 2012, England boss Roy Hodgson declared himself happy with his own teams performance. At a press conference at Wembley this morning,...

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Euro 2012 Final: Spain 4 Italy 0 - UEFA look to introduce handicaps

Funny story: Euro 2012 Final: Spain 4 Italy 0 - UEFA look to introduce handicaps

Spain created history by becoming the first team to win three successive global tournaments (Euro 2008, World Cup 2010 and Euro 2012). The triple champions won at a canter without getting out of second gear on sunday night v the unlucky Italians,...

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Euro 2012: Platini announces venue of Euro 2020 tournament

Funny story: Euro 2012: Platini announces venue of Euro 2020 tournament

In a press conference ahead of the Spain v Italy final on sunday, UEFA president Michel Platini told journalists about his grand plan for the Euro 2020 tournament. While Istanbul in Turkey was considered favourites to host the event, it appears th...

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Euro 2012: England crowned Champions!

Funny story: Euro 2012: England crowned Champions!

Despite their exit to Italy at the quarter-final stage of the main tournament, England today gathered a small consolation when they were named the inaugural winners of the European Penalty Missing Championships. The only two teams to lose on penal...

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Euro 2012: Spain v Italy Final Preview - Torres v Balotelli the key

Funny story: Euro 2012: Spain v Italy Final Preview - Torres v Balotelli the key

Euro 2012 draws to a close on Sunday with a final between defending champions Spain and Italy. Spain scraped past Portugal in the semi-final on penalties, while Italy upset the form book beating Germany with two goals from Mario Balotelli. Now, w...

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Euro 2012: Englands Jermaine Defoe to change name by deed poll

Funny story: Euro 2012: Englands Jermaine Defoe to change name by deed poll

As the only recognised striker not to get a chance in Roy Hodgsons England Euro 2012 squad, Jermaine Defoe has decided on drastic action to push his way into the bosses plans for the forthcoming world cup fixtures. When Defoe arrives back in Engla...

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Spain Face Selection Crisis after Fabregas Sectioned

Funny story: Spain Face Selection Crisis after Fabregas Sectioned

World and European champions Spain could be forced to part with their tried and tested 4-6-0 formation for the Euro 2012 final after midfielder Cesc Fabregas was sectioned under the mental health act yesterday. The Barcelona playmaker was taken a...

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Cristiano Ronaldo's Penalty Miss Hilarious Says Expert

Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo's Penalty Miss Hilarious Says Expert

A top football expert has branded Spain's progression to the final of Euro 2012 'hilarious'. EIF News & Features sports editor, Thelonious Adidas, was watching the Portugal v Spain semi-final on TV at his home in West Wittering because we refu...

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Euro 2012: Germany to be thrown out for ineligible player

Funny story: Euro 2012: Germany to be thrown out for ineligible player

An unnamed Italian official today called on Germany to be expelled from the tournament for fielding ineligible players. Germany reached the semi-final by beating penniless Greece in the quarter-final, and won all three group matches, verses Portug...

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Euro 2012: Ashley Cole and Ashley Young 'retired' from international football

Funny story: Euro 2012: Ashley Cole and Ashley Young 'retired' from international football

The Football Association today announced that the two penalty missers from the quarter-final defeat to Italy are both retiring from international football with immediate effect. Ashley Cole had played 98 times for England, and only days before the...

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Euro 2012: Spain ask UEFA for extended half-time siesta

Funny story: Euro 2012: Spain ask UEFA for extended half-time siesta

European Champions and World Cup winners Spain, have asked UEFA to increase the half-time break in their semi-final against Portugal from 15 minutes to 60 minutes as they struggle to overcome tiredness. The defending champs had to play their quart...

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Euro 2012: FA to create Centre of Excellence for Penalty Taking in Dorking.

Funny story: Euro 2012: FA to create Centre of Excellence for Penalty Taking in Dorking.

Following England's defeat to Italy on penalties at Euro 2012, the Football Association have decided to spend millions of pounds on a new Centre of Excellence designed to make England penalty winners. Sir Trevor Frooking CBE (Cant Be Easy) announc...

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Ungrateful Italian Betrays Martyr Nation

Ex West Ham 'reject', misfit, dud, flop, chancer, but decent penalty taker Alessandro Diamanti last night scored the winning spot-kick taking Italy through and knocking rightful winners England out of what is now a complete failure of a tournament.

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Sociologists Ponder England's Exit From Euro 2012

Funny story: Sociologists Ponder England's Exit From Euro 2012

Sociologists around Britain are studying the social and personal consequences of the English football team's premature departure from yet another major tournament. Many believe that the damage done to the very fabric of British domesticity is neither...

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Euro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat

Funny story: Euro 2012: England prepare to fly home after Italy defeat

England players are today packing their suitcases and preparing to fly back home after the 4-2 penalty defeat to Italy last night. Ashley Cole and Ashley Young who both missed their crucial kicks, have already been offered a pizza advert, followin...

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