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Funny satire stories about Eric Pickles

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Funny story: Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

Environment Agency to divert Thames down the Chunnel

In a move of breathtaking brilliance, the Community Secretary Eric Pickles today put down his pie and announced the initiative to save the Thames Valley from further flood damage. 'The Environment Agency will henceforth direct their hoses down the...
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Funny story: Nature Notes: new crater reported in Somerset

Nature Notes: new crater reported in Somerset

Birds everywhere are reacting angrily to the ineptitude of humans after a bid to drain the Somerset Levels by dropping Eric Pickles from a great height failed dramatically, causing what many initially believed to be an 'extinction event'. Fortunat...
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Funny story: Unemployed to be forced to wear identifying badges

Unemployed to be forced to wear identifying badges

The Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith today announced that the unemployed will from now on be forced to wear a badge identifying them as 'Work Shy' so that members of the public can easily identify them. "For too long the Work Shy have...
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Funny story: Diamond Jubilee Street Party to take place on M25

Diamond Jubilee Street Party to take place on M25

Surviving inhabitants of a Hertfordshire village bulldozed to make way for London's orbital motorway in 1973 have been given the green light to hold a reunion Diamond Jubilee street party - on the M25. The tiny hamlet of Botting was demolished and...
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Funny story: Spitting Ban Is Breach Of Human Rights Claim Expectorators

Spitting Ban Is Breach Of Human Rights Claim Expectorators

A London council's plans to ban spitting are a breach of human rights says a national pressure group. Enfield Council has collected 3,700 signatures on a petition calling for the ban and now is asking local government minister Eric Pickles to appr...
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Funny story: Pizza declared a 'Human right'

Pizza declared a 'Human right'

The UK government has voted unanimously to award pizza in the same category as somewhere to live, clean water, broadband and education by naming it as a basic human right. "Pizza is truly the world's best food," said government Health Minister and...
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Funny story: Pickles Finds Kitten in Dustbin

Pickles Finds Kitten in Dustbin

Government Minister Eric Pickles has found his wife's boy friend's Kitten in a dustbin in Leeds. This has led him to decide to introduce weekly bin collections in an effort the transform the Tory Image and to find more stranded kittens. 'At one bl...
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Funny story: Homeless Let Down Government

Homeless Let Down Government

A leaked letter from the Office of Eric Pickles has announced that Government measures over benefits will leave 40,000 families homeless and will, in the end, cost the Government more than supplying benefits in the first place. David Cameron has c...
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Funny story: Eric Pickles to open Food Market at Whitehall HQ

Eric Pickles to open Food Market at Whitehall HQ

There is so much un-used space at Whitehall HQ that Eric Pickles has come up with a marvellous idea to rent the space to be used as a huge food hall. Apparently, he plans to rent some of the space himself and set up a new business, to be named Pic...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Disappear

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart Disappear

It has been exclusively revealed to us here at Tripe News International that Twilight toothsome twosome and bloodsucking bosom buddies and blood transfusing Transylvanian top totty superstars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have disappeared.
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Funny story: Eric Pickles a deep pan pizza in a suit

Eric Pickles a deep pan pizza in a suit

It is his mission to cut hard and cut often. He will search out every corner of his department and he will be savage. Nothing is safe from his beady eyes. The Right Honourable, Eric Pickles, MP, UK Local Government and Communities Secretary, a ro...
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Funny story: The English local library with no books to lend

The English local library with no books to lend

UK minister for Local Government has been left holding his head in his hands. The Right Honourable, Eric Pickles is in a real pickle today. Residents of Stony Stratford, near Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire have emptied their local library of all 1...
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Funny story: Eric Pickles Cures Sexual Disfunction

Eric Pickles Cures Sexual Disfunction

London, UK: British government minister Eric Pickles has been credited with ending the condition of premature ejaculation. Sexual Health practitioner Dr Melanie Cole explains "For the last two months we have been recommending that sufferers of the...
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Funny story: Eric Pickles to eat homeless families under new Coalition plans

Eric Pickles to eat homeless families under new Coalition plans

As local councils across the UK await funding cuts from the coalition government, it has been revealed by government sources that Eric Pickles will be allowed to eat homeless families as part of the new Localism bill. Under the new bill councils w...
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Funny story: Eric Pickles is 'too fat to talk about belt-tightening'

Eric Pickles is 'too fat to talk about belt-tightening'

Eric Pickles, Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, has been replaced in the Cabinet following a vote of no confidence in the House of Commons. Despite being a major presence in the Conservative Party for over twenty years, Tory MP...
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Funny story: The guy who should be in the headlines but the page isn't wide enough

The guy who should be in the headlines but the page isn't wide enough

As he sits with his Bob the Builder Advent Calender, the Right Honourable Eric Pickles, MP, Local Government Secretary, fantasises about the treats to come. The Tories do not call him the "Big Man" without reason. He is big, very big. As he ponder...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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